Chxta's World

Intransigence

2012-01-14T23:02:00.001Z

...and as the clock struck 12, a sleepy nation headed towards meltdown. Thanks GEJ...

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Questions...

2012-01-14T20:07:00.000Z

Why is an agency like NIPOST getting NGN7bn when it can be run commercially?
What is the difference b/w head of Service and Civil Service Commission?
How many complaints did the Public Complaints Commission take in 2011?
Why is it worth NGN3.2 bn in the budget?
Why spend NGN343mn on computers for Aso Rock alone?
Presidency budgeted NGN477mn on foodstuff/catering, this is minus the NGN1bn budgeted for feeding.
At that NGN1bn, it means they have already spent NGN42mn in 2012.
This struggle is about waste, not fuel subsidy.

Chaos theory

2012-01-11T08:05:00.001Z

As things go, there's nothing else in the news to talk about other than the nationwide protests over the removal of fuel subsidies. The noise being made has reached such a crescendo that the government in a fit of panic(?) has started to go on the offensive, albeit slowly. Some top government functionaries have also started began to defend themselves.

Yesterday, both the Minister of Finance and the governor of the Central Bank appeared on a television programme and somewhere along the lines, we were told that the governors of our states are the people behind the heavy new year present that we received.

However, Mrs. Okonjo-Iweala did offer us a present in the sense that she announced that transporters had agreed with the government to reduce fares despite the fuel increases. Given that the vast majority of transporters in the country are private concerns who are set up to run for profit, we wonder quite how that will happen. Unless of course, the government wants to subsidise transport costs. Oops! That word again, subsidy...

The government on its own part has adopted a rather tough stance in the whole matter, what with the Head of Service reducing all of our federal civil servants to primary school pupils who have to sign a register and appear at work. Bobs, na wa o!

Sadly though, we do not harbour too much hope about the sustainability of this mass action. You see, the unfortunate reality is that Nigerians in general live a subsistence existence, day-to-day, and the urge to go out and find the day's daily bread is equally as important as the urge to tell the government to roll back a rather punishing policy. In reality, the urge for daily bread is even more important as the occupants of Abuja's satellite towns are proving.

Meanwhile in the day's funniest piece of news, the government has decided to investigate the activities of this elusive cabal. Something they should have done in the first place. The arrangement of carts and horses comes to mind here...

...and it's no sacrifice

2012-01-10T08:06:00.002Z

Demola Aderinde began yesterday like any other, unaware that it would be his last. A few hours into the day, he was dead, shot at point blank range by a policeman identified as Segun Fabunmi, the DPO of Pen Cinema Police Station. We want to use this medium to offer our condolences to Demola's family, and to call for justice. We also want to strongly call for the reform of the Nigerian Police. The trigger-happy brutality is mind boggling to say the least.

Demola wasn't the only Nigerian murdered yesterday. In Kano another teenager was feared dead as protesters clashed with the police during protests against the removal of fuel subsidies. The government has ended up imposing a dusk to dawn curfew on the city.

Lagos was virtually brought to a stand still because of the protests, but it remains to be seen whether the protests can sustain, or what long term impact they will have given that some organisations are alleged to have insisted that their staff turn up for work come what may. And in a final twist to yesterday's tale, organised labour have said that they will sue the President and Inspector-General of Police over the deaths of protesters.

What we do know for sure, is that the strike is going on. For the moment that is...

What is happening?!?

2012-01-09T07:34:00.002Z

No matter what side of the coin you are on, yesterday presented a very interesting debate as our Representatives engaged one another in a show down over the Executive arm of government's removal of fuel subsidies, an action which raised the cost of living of the average Nigerian by a whooping 117%. After all the speaking, the Reps asked the Presidency to halt action on subsidy removal. Whether he will consider their request remains to be seen, but we are not making such bets yet because the day before, the President had addressed the nation and asked us to bear with the pain because it was necessary. To show us that he is also feeling the pain, he by executive fiat, cut his salary and that of his officials, by 25%, but quite tellingly failed to even mention the deaths of 26 people in Adamawa state the day before.

Those deaths have been compounded by the fact that the police in Kano in the early hours of this morning have seized military uniforms from suspected Boko Haram members, an event that is sadly, likely to compound an already volatile situation of mistrust among the populace. A mistrust that is not necessary given that our problems are more than likely not religious, nor are they ethnic. Nigeria's problems are more economic, and we can only ask that you spare a thought for the Northerners being forced to flee Warri and Sapele and other parts of the South for fear of reprisals. They will, like the rest of us, be paying huge sums for transportation, and in order to finance their own government's incompetence.

An incompetence that is shown off quite brightly in the fact that 1600 buses were launched in Abuja yesterday to cater for a population of more than 160 millions. Mathematically, that translates to one bus per 100,000 inhabitants of this space called Nigeria, but as of the last count, the largest bus launched has a capacity of 32.

32 is an interesting number, because that is the number of people alleged to have been injured by the Nigeria Police in a charge of protesters at the Occupy Nigeria event in Abuja. The police, as happened in Kano a few days ago, chose the dead of night to make their charge. Makes you wonder if the increased fuel prices does not affect them...

For those of you in Lagos, we kick off the Occupy Nigeria movement today. In less than 30 minutes actually. Venue is Gani Fawehinmi Park, Ojota. Be there or live forever with the knowledge that you are a fucking coward.

GEJ's speech

2012-01-07T20:32:00.002Z

Unedited. Think what you may, but the man didn't offer anything new. Quick one, despite promising cuts in the speech you are about to read below, the man is going to jet off to South Africa this evening to attend the 100th anniversary of the ANC. What kind of leader runs away when his house is one fire?

NATIONAL BROADCAST BY PRESIDENT GOODLUCK EBELE JONATHAN, GCFR, ON THE DEREGULATION OF THE DOWNSTREAM PETROLEUM SECTOR SATURDAY, JANUARY 7, 2012

___________________________________________

Dear Compatriots,

A week ago, I had cause to address Nigerians on the security challenges we are facing in parts of the country, which necessitated the declaration of a state of emergency in 15 Local Government Areas in four states of the Federation. That course of action attracted widespread support and a demonstration of understanding. With that declaration, government had again signaled its intention to combat terrorism with renewed vigour and to assure every Nigerian of safety.

The support that we have received in the fight against terrorism from concerned Nigerians at home and abroad has been remarkable. We believe that it is with such continued support that progress can be made on national issues. Let me express my heartfelt appreciation to everyone who has expressed a commitment to support us as we strive to improve on the country’s security situation, and build a stronger foundation for the future. The recent mindless acts of violence in Gombe, Potiskum, Jimeta-Yola and Mubi are unfortunate. I urge all Nigerians to eschew bitterness and acrimony and live together in harmony and peace. Wherever there is any threat to public peace, our security agencies will enforce the law, without fear or favour.

This evening, I address you, again, with much concern over an issue that borders on the national economy, the oil industry and national progress. As part of our efforts to transform the economy and guarantee prosperity for all Nigerians, Government, a few days ago, announced further deregulation of the downstream petroleum sector. The immediate effect of this has been the removal of the subsidy on petrol.

Since the announcement, there have been mixed reactions to the policy. Let me seize this opportunity to assure all Nigerians that I feel the pain that you all feel. I personally feel pained to see the sharp increase in transport fares and the prices of goods and services. I share the anguish of all persons who had travelled out of their stations, who had to pay more on the return leg of their journeys.

If I were not here to lead the process of national renewal, if I were in your shoes at this moment, I probably would have reacted in the same manner as some of our compatriots, or hold the same critical views about government. But I need to use this opportunity as your President to address Nigerians on the realities on the ground, and why we chose to act as we did. I know that these are not easy times. But tough choices have to be made to safeguard the economy and our collective survival as a nation.

My fellow Nigerians, the truth is that we are all faced with two basic choices with regard to the management of the downstream petroleum sector: either we deregulate and survive economically, or we continue with a subsidy regime that will continue to undermine our economy and potential for growth, and face serious consequences.

As you all know, the subject of deregulation is not new, we have been grappling with it for more than two decades. Previous administrations tinkered with the pump price of petroleum products, and were unable to effect complete deregulation of the downstream sector. This approach has not worked. If it did, we would not be here talking about deregulation today. I understand fully well that deregulation is not a magic formula that will address every economic challenge, but it provides a good entry point for transforming the economy, and for ensuring transparency and competitiveness in the oil industry, which is the mainstay of our economy.

As a President, elected and supported by ordinary Nigerians, and the vast majority of our people, I have a duty to bring up policies and programmes that will grow the economy and bring about greater benefits for the people. Let me assure you that as your President, I have no intention to inflict pain on Nigerians.

The deregulation of the petroleum sector is a necessary step that we had to take. Should we continue to do things the same way, and face more serious economic challenges? Or deregulate, endure the initial discomfort and reap better benefits later? I want to assure every Nigerian that whatever pain you may feel at the moment, will be temporary.

The interest of the ordinary people of this country will always remain topmost in my priorities as a leader. I remain passionately committed to achieving significant and enduring improvements in our economy that will lead to sustained improvement in the lives of our people.

I am determined to leave behind a better Nigeria, that we all can be proud of. To do so, I must make sure that we have the resources and the means to grow our economy to be resilient, and to sustain improved livelihood for our people. We must act in the public interest, no matter how tough, for the pains of today cannot be compared to the benefits of tomorrow. On assumption of office as President, I swore to an oath to always act in the best interest of the people. I remain faithful to that undertaking.

To save Nigeria, we must all be prepared to make sacrifices. On the part of Government, we are taking several measures aimed at cutting the size and cost of governance, including on-going and continuous effort to reduce the size of our recurrent expenditure and increase capital spending. In this regard, I have directed that overseas travels by all political office holders, including the President, should be reduced to the barest minimum. The size of delegations on foreign trips will also be drastically reduced; only trips that are absolutely necessary will be approved.

For the year 2012, the basic salaries of all political office holders in the Executive arm of government will be reduced by 25%. Government is also currently reviewing the number of committees, commissions and parastatals with overlapping responsibilities. The Report on this will be submitted shortly and the recommendations will be promptly implemented. In the meantime, all Ministries, Departments and Agencies must reduce their overhead expenses.

We are all greatly concerned about the issue of corruption. The deregulation policy is the strongest measure to tackle this challenge in the downstream sector. In addition, government is taking other steps to further sanitize the oil industry.

To ensure that the funds from petroleum subsidy removal are spent prudently on projects that will build a greater Nigeria, I have established a committee to oversee the implementation of the Subsidy Reinvestment and Empowerment Programme. I sincerely believe that the reinvestment of the petroleum subsidy funds, to ensure improvement in national infrastructure, power supply, transportation, irrigation and agriculture, education, healthcare, and other social services, is in the best interest of our people.

Fellow Nigerians, I know that the removal of the petroleum subsidy imposes an initial burden on our people, especially the rising cost of transportation. Government will be vigilant and act decisively to curb the excesses of those that want to exploit the current situation for selfish gains. I plead for the understanding of all Nigerians. I appeal to our youth not to allow mischief-makers to exploit present circumstances to mislead or incite them to disturb public peace.

To address the immediate challenges that have been identified, I have directed all Ministries, Departments and Agencies of government to embark immediately on all projects which have been designed to cushion the impact of the subsidy removal in the short, medium and long-term, as outlined in the Subsidy Reinvestment and Empowerment Programme Document.

Tomorrow, 8th January, I will formally launch a robust mass transit intervention programme to bring down the cost of transportation across the country. The programme will be implemented in partnership with state and local governments, labour unions, transport owners, and banking institutions, and supported with the provision of funding at zero interest rate as well as import duty waiver on all needed parts for locally-made mass transit vehicles, which will create additional jobs in the economy.

We will keep these incentives in place for as long as it takes. I want to assure you that Government will not rest until we bring down the cost of transportation for our people. Let me thank the transporters’ associations that have agreed to reduce transport fares. I have directed the Minister of Labour and Productivity to work with these associations to come up with a sustainable plan to guarantee this within the shortest possible time.

In addition, I have ordered the mobilization of contractors for the full rehabilitation of the Port Harcourt –Maiduguri Railway Line and the completion of the Lagos-Kano Railway Line. I have also directed the immediate commencement of a Public Works programme that will engage the services of about 10, 000 youths in every state of the Federation and the Federal Capital Territory. This will create an additional 370, 000 jobs.

Government has taken these decisions in the best interest of our economy, so that we not only have benefits today, but to ensure that we bequeath even greater benefits to our children and grandchildren.

Let me assure Nigerians that every possible effort will be made to ensure that we march forward, with a collective resolve to build a Nigeria that can generate greater economic growth, create and sustain new jobs, and secure the future of our children.

This Administration will aggressively implement its programme to reposition and strengthen our economy, while paying adequate attention to the immediate needs of our citizens.

I assure you all that we will work towards achieving full domestic refining of petroleum products with the attendant benefits.

As I ask for the full understanding of all Nigerians, I also promise that I will keep my word.

Thank you. May God bless you; and may God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, GCFR

President

Federal Republic of Nigeria

January 7, 2012

Naija harmattan...

2012-01-06T09:37:00.000Z

...and so Nigeria's own season of discontent is in full swing. Protests are happening in almost all the major cities of Western and Northern Nigeria, one wonders when the East will actually join in.

The government's response is belligerent at best, with one publication alleging that the government has concluded plans to infiltrate protesting groups and even go as far as hacking the phones of known activists.

While our government seems more interested in imposing the fuel subsidy removal regardless of the cost to the average Nigerian in both mental and physical terms, they appear less interested in sorting out the Boko Haram mess. The militant group, or at least a faction within it, have carried out their threat to begin targeting Christians based in the North of the country. A church was attacked in Gombe in the wee hours, with six people losing their lives. This despite our National Security Advisor saying for the umpteenth time, "No shaking, no cause for alarm". How many have to die before General Azazi realises that there is indeed cause for alarm?

But then maybe the good General is a little too busy perfecting strategies to cause confusion amongst normal Nigerians going about their day to day businesses, businesses which from Wednesday would be interrupted by the matter of the strike. However, organised labour have come out to categorically state that they will not be negotiating with anyone until prices are brought back to pre-Janauary 1 levels.

In case all of this news is too gloomy for you, here is some entertainment.

Anger boils over

2012-01-04T05:34:00.002Z

Today marks exactly a year since Mohammed Bouazizi died. He had suffered for three weeks in pains after self-immolating himself as a result of a humiliating experience he suffered. His action, and subsequent death brought out the anger in his native country Tunisia, and in the wider Arab region, changing the world forever.

Yesterday, the anger spilled out to the streets across our country, Nigeria. From Lagos, to Abuja, to Kano, people took to the streets to protest new year day's massive increase in petroleum prices. But it was in Ilorin that the pivotal event may have happened as anti-riot police killed at least one person (up to six depending on whom your sources are). What we do know is that there is a picture of Muyideen Mustapha who was shot on that day. We pray for him to rest in peace. Amen.

That unnecessary death because our police forces have failed to evolve proper riot control techniques may have finally jolted the Nigeria Labour Congress into real action. In the strongest language ever used by organised labour against a sitting government in Nigerian history, the NLC called our President a liar, and feelers coming out of the top echelons of the NLC indicate that in today's meeting, the body may actually ask the President to resign. Meanwhile while Nigeria is on the boil, the House of Representatives, still on holiday, have announced that they have no position on the fuel subsidy removal.

Speaking of stories that may be true or untrue, the NCC, Airtel and MTN have come out to deny the stories that circulated yesterday. Yesterday, we were told that the government had directed that blackberry services be shutdown from today to prevent protesters from using them to organise themselves.

But blackberry services being shutdown shouldn't affect the organisation that much afterall, services in Nigeria have never been known to be the most efficient, services such as the 'cashless Lagos" programme which was meant to kick off on New Year's day, and herald a "Cashless Nigeria". There is a lot of confusion as to what it all means sadly.

But then again, confusion seems to be the name of the game as the Boko Haram threat looms. Today is the final day of the nebulous group's ultimatum...

Fiddling while Rome is burning

2012-01-03T11:20:00.002Z

Yesterday, Boko Haram gave an order that would essentially split Nigeria along its fabled fault-line. They asked Christians in the North to quit the region in three days or else...

What the Bokomites did not take into consideration is the fact that there is a very substantial population resident in the North, who are not Muslim, and who have called the area now known as Northern Nigeria home since time immemorial. Think the Tera people, the Zangos, the Katafs, and you will the get where we are headed.

Sadly, our government has reacted in its usual manner with the National Security Adviser telling us that there's no cause for alarm, and some other person within the FG telling us that Niger Delta militants will not retaliate. It is funny how the FG seems to have suddenly become the spokespeople for the Niger Delta militants, a situation that first reared its ugly head during the aftermath of our 50th independence anniversary celebrations...

The Niger Delta militants through Asari Dokubo have put an end to such rubbish talk though. Mr. Dokubo has made it clear that any rubbish of that sort will be met with equal force.

For those of us writing this, we are more interested in the rather testy issue of increasing prices as occasioned by Sunday's rather abrupt removal of the fuel subsidies. Organised labour has ordered a nationwide strike in an attempt to force prices back to 2011 levels. Meanwhile the government appears nonplussed as the President has set up a committee to talk with labour over the issue. Whether this is just a tactic to buy time, only time itself can tell. It certainly seems so though, as the President's media aide has publicly backed the increase.

My own view on the whole debate about protesting or not is very simple.

Any protest that does not return us to the pre-January 1 levels of NGN65 per litre is a waste of time.

Let me tell you a story.

In 2004, the Obasanjo government "removed subsidies" and increased the price of petrol from NGN27 as it was then to NGN48. People hit the streets in sometimes violent protest, and eventually negotiations occurred, and a pump price of NGN38 was agreed upon. Did we achieve our aim? No. Was there an increase? Yes. Did the costs of other goods and services go up? Yes. So who are we kidding?

Prior to Sunday's "shock" announcement, the government had flown the kite that when "subsidies are removed" that the price of petrol would come to about NGN120. Then suddenly the PPPRA fixes prices at NGN141?

First, if it is indeed market forces that are in control, how can the PPPRA be in control of what people sell at as implied here? Someone is being very economical with the truth, and we all know who that person/those people is/are.

This is the script that has been planned: raise prices 116% (done). People begin to protest (on-going). Then come to the negotiating table, and somewhere along the line agree to a decrease and final price of between NGN100 and NGN120 (still to come).

Then six years down the line, the next government will sell us that bullshit of having to remove subsidies!

When will this vicious cycle ever end?

I can tell you when it will end. It will never end because Nigerians are bloody cowards. Remember the immortal words of Fela the Sage in Sorrow, Tears and Blood?

"My people sef dem fear too much..."

Happy new year

2012-01-01T19:17:00.001Z

I was getting angry about the new, improved fuel prices today and someone reminded me that the SSS is still very much around!

"Until we, as Nigerians get up and say enough is enough. Until we realize that we deserve much, much, much more than we are getting, until we get to the point of no return, when we are prepared to die for what we believe in- indeed until we believe in anything other than in our personal comfort- we will continue to be led by our noses." ---Chxta in 2007.

Enjoy your new and improved fuel prices Nigeria.

Chxta's Wall: 2011 Honours List

2011-12-31T08:13:00.001Z

Today is the last day of the year 2011. For me, this year was one that began with promises, and got better as it went along. There were a few lows of course, but the ending is very hopeful. In this year, my profile went up, in this year, I met two Presidents, and told both of them my mind. One of them appreciated the talk, the other, well time will tell.

Most importantly, in 2011, I rediscovered God. Granted it took a few slaps, and someone I didn't know having to die a few feet away from me in order to make it happen, but something had to be my own "Road to Damascus" moment. I pray for the soul of the man who was murdered on the night of Friday, November 18, 2011. May he rest in peace. Amen.

I get a strong feeling that the year ahead will be better for me as a person, but eventually, only time can tell.

The coming year, 2012 is going to be a pivotal year for me, my country and all who inhabit it. I really hope things turn out well, you see, much as I am not very optimistic I hope that the worsening economic climate and the security issues would give way to peace and prosperity. I must acknowledge that I have to do my bit in building this 'ere space I call home.

I'd like to extend my appreciation to the following people who helped make 2011 tick for me. I hope I haven't left anyone out of this list, if I have, no vex. I don dey old, so brain no too dey retain like that again. Let's see if we can in 2012, reach for the stars...

Aaron Musa
Abdul Rahman Abiola-Odunowo
Abidemi Dairo
Abim Salami
Abiola Sanu
Acho Nnaji
Ada Igboanugo
Ada Oriaku
Ada Ogbulagor
Ade Adene
Adebola Rayo
Adebola Williams
Adesuwa Hayble
Afam Nnaji
Afolabi Sanni
Ahaoma Kanu
Aisha Yola
Akachi Okoro
Akin Akintayo
Akin Aroko-Okon
Akpanke Utande
Akunna Ukanwa
Al-Kasim Abdulkadir
Alhaji Sanni
Aloysius Anieke
Amaka Vanni
Andrew Enenmoh
Aniedi Udo-Obong
Anino Odeli-Serrano
Anita Wikina
Anne Efeurhobo
Arit Serki
Asmau Suleiman
Assumpta Ozua
Atom Lim
Augustine Aghenta
Aziza Uko
Azu Emodi
Bade Animashaun
Baffa Saleh
Barbara Rednak
Bayo Oyewole
Ben Egwuatu
Bhola Dhoraso
Bibi Bakare-Yusuf
Biola Adewoyin
Bisola Edun
Bola Akinkugbe
Bola Sonola
Bolaji Abdullahi
Bolaji Okusaga
Boma Graham-Douglas
Boma Harrison
Bosede Alimi
Bubay Omordia
Buki Animashaun
Bunmi Nwanze
Caroline Duffield
Charles Anosike
Charles Eboka
Charles Ifinedo
Charles Igwe
Charles Uduje
Chete Nwanze
Chichi Opurum
Chiedu Mokogwu
Chiedu Onyido
Chiedu Uraih
Chigozie Nwokolo
Chike Chukwumah
Chima Onwe
Chimezie Okoye
China Acheru
Chinedu Okonkwo
Chinedu Ozordi
Chinelo Onwualu
Chineze Chukwumah
Chinwe Obinwanne
Chisom Mbonu
Chiweta Uraih
Chris Egboh
Chris Onyeose
Christian Edigin
Chude Jideonwo
Chuka Mordi
Chuks Omereife
Chukwuma Ochonogor
Chuma Uraih
Clement Umeri
Colin Udoh
Collins Obasi
Cosanna Preston
Damola Owoseye
Dapo Olorunyomi
David Ajikobi
David Nwanze
Davou Rwang
Dawn Idiodi
Debbie Ikenebomeh
Debe Nwanze
Debo Olatunde
Deji Adebusoye
Deji Ishmael
Dele Nedd
Deolu Akinyemi
Derin Ajao
Derrick Gooden
Didi Ocheja
Donald Orji
Dubem Maka
Ebi Bozimo
Ebube Uduje
Edo Lawal
Edward Okumagba
Edwin Oribhabor
Efe Egborge
Efe Omordia
Egghead Odewale
Eghosa Adagbasa
Ehi Eluem
Ehi Ogioba
Ehiagie Uraih
Ehidiame Airauhi
Ehidiame Anao
Ehis Asibor
Ehis Ero
Ejiofor Obi
Ejiro Gegere
Elisha Sulai
Elizabeth Embu
El-Nathan John
Elohor Om'Iniabohs
Emeka Awodu
Emeka Mordi
Emeka Njokanma
Emeka Ogboh
Emeka Onyekonwu
Emeka Uraih
Emmanuel Chidiogo
Emmanuel Etim
Emmanuel Nwanze
Emmanuel Ogala
Emmanuel Otokpa
Ene Adikwu-Nliam
Ese Owie
Esohe Eigbike
Esse Norman
Ewonro Amune
Eyinmisan Nikatsekpe
Eziashi Nwabuzor
Fatima Usman
Femi Imoru
Ferdinand Adimefe
Fidelis Anosike
Fisayo Olanrewaju
Flora Fabyan
Folake Ani-Mumuney
Frances Ahunun
Francis Nwandison
Francis Odion
Fred Nwonwu
Fuad Laguda
Funke Shogunle
Funmi Sanu
Gbenga Ashiru
Gbenga Olorunpomi
Gbenga Sesan
Gbolahan Abiola
Georgina Uraih
Glory Edozien
Godwin Igbarumah
Grace Mang
Habeeb Fashinro
Hadiza Mohammed
Hauwa Maina
Hauwa Mukan
Henry Okelue
Ibe Aniagwu
Ibrahim Babagana
Ibrahim Bage
Ibrahim Bashir
Idemudia Abaku
Idorenyen Enang
Idris Akinbajo
Ifeanyi Ibeh
Ifeanyi Okonkwo
Ifeoma Obianwu-Fafunwa
Ifreke Inyang
Ify Ihekuna
Ify Ijekeye
Ify Uraih
Ihechukwu Ibeji
Ijeoma Amadiobi
Ijeoma Ezeokeke
Ijeoma Samuel
Ike Chukwumah
Ike Igboanugo
Ikenna Chiweokwu
Inebi Eweka
Ini Ekott
Ireti Bakare-Yusuf
James Odiah
Jayne Usen-Auguoye
Jeremy Weate
Jide Alaka
Joan Agabi
John Brown Adegunsoye
John Membu
Joseph Abuku
Jude Ezue
Jude Okala
Julum Nwanze
Jumoke Aruleba
Kadaria Ahmed
Kaidi Obiakor
Kanmi Iyanda
Kate Amuta
Kayode Akintemi
Kayode Aruleba
Kayode Nubi
Kayode Ogundamisi
Kayode Olanipekun
Kayode Soile
Kayode Thomas
Kehinde Akolade
Kehinde Osotimehin
Kelvin Nwabueze
Kelvin Franklim
Kendal Ananyi
Kenneth Chigbo
Kenneth Oliko
Klint Da Drunk
Kola Lawal Bakare
Kola Munis
Kola Oshinowo
Kola Ibrahim
Kris Nwokolo
Kunle Sanni
Kuso Ashiofu
Kuso Onwuka
Kuso Uraih
Lai Labode
Lanre Badmus
Laolu Olajugbe
Lekan Alonge
Lekan Lifoji
Linda Ikeji
Linus Okorie
Lola Masha
Lola Talabi-Oni
Lucky Idedia
Mamode Edosio
Mandy Brown-Ojugbana
Maneesh Garg
Mary Uraih
Mercy Abang
Michael Obinyan
Michael Rosenberg
Michaela Moye
Mildred Okwo
Mohammed Awwal Haroun
Mohammed Danjuma
Mojeed Musikilu
Molara Wood
Muhtar Bakare
Muobo Tetsola
Nadeem Bhutta
Nasir El-Rufai
Ndidi Ibeachum
Ndidi Nnoli-Edozien
Ngozi Ugbebor
Nicholas Ibekwe
Nike Oshinowo
Nina Essien
Niyi Dada
Nkechi Nwalor
Nkechi Opurum
Nkem Ifejika
Nkem Uraih
Nnamdi Chukwumah
Nnamdi Okosieme
Nneka Chukwumah
Nnenna Anozia
Noel Anosike
Noel Orji
Nonso Nwanze
Nthenya Ujiri
Oah Ekhajegbe
Oamen Airauhi
Obidike Okafor
Obinna Nwankwo
Obla Enenmoh
Odinma Uraih
Oduware Ohenhen
Oghale Ariawhorai
Ohimai Atafo
Ohimai Amaize
Oje Uadia
Ojiaku Uraih
Okechi Emuchay
Okechukwu Nnodim
Olaitan Hamza
Olise Egbunike
Olise Wakwe
Olly Owen
Olusegun Obasanjo
Omeiza Nwaha
Omena Abenabe
Omo Ehighebolo
Onivefu Joseph
Onome Ariawhorai
Onyeka Nwelue
Onyinye Muomah
Oria Iyayo
Orhie Oddiri
Osa Eluem
Osaheni Obazee
Osita Nwoye
Oseghae Airauhi
Oti Samuel
Oyemi Sagay
Paschal Alionye
Patience Ogboh
Patrick Nwakogo
Paul Ategie
Paul Ikenebomeh
Paula Aghenta
Pelumi Oyegbami
Peter Ikenebomeh
Peter Nkanga
Philip Isakpa
Pius Adesanmi
Queen Martins
Regina Okonkwo
Remi Onibudo
Remi Osubo
Reuben Abati
Richard Essien
Rimini Makama
Ronke Adebanjo
Ruemu Odiete
Ruruo Om'Iniabohs
Sa'adetu Yahaya
Sadiq Demola
Sam Eke
Samir Abdulkadir
Sandra Williams
Scott Rubin
Segun Balogun
Segun Demuren
Sej Efeurhobo
Semiu Makanjuola
Seun Lawal
Seyi Ajitery
Seyi Olanihun
Seyi Taylor
Shade Ladipo
Sijuwade Salami
Simon Ejembi
Simon Gusah
Singto Saro-Wiwa
Soji Agbana
Sola Adejumo
Sola Agbaje
Sola Babarinsa
Sola Fagade
Sola Olaseinde
Somnazu Nwanze
Spaniel Imanah
Stanley Oronsaye
Stella Anywanwu
Stephanie Nnachetam
Sunday Adedeji
Sunny Ofili
Susan Ariawhorai
Sylva Ifedigbo
Sylvester Awenlinmobor
Taiwo Serki
Taj Onigbanjo
Tari Wari
Tayo Adido
Tayo Johnson
Tejiri Chunu
Temisan Okomi
Temple Nakpodia
Terfa Tiley-Gyado
Thaddeus Ehighebolo
Thomas Momoh
Tijani Babatunde
Titi Lope
Toba Akin
Tochuwku Ezeokafor
Tolu Ogunlesi
Tony Chukwumah
Tony Nwabuzor
Tony Nwalor
Tosin Otitoju
Toyin Fajj
Toyosi Akerele
Tunde Aka-Bashorun
Ubaka Onyechi
Uche Anidobi
Uche Chuta
Uche Ndukwe
Uche Nwagboso
Udoka Obi
Udoka Ugwu
Ugo Chime
Ugo Chiori
Uju Akunwa
Uju Maka
Uju Oragwu
Uju Uraih
Uzo Nwanze
Unoma Egborge
Uso Uraih
Valerie Anofochi
Victor Dongo
Victor Ehikhamenor
Victor Ogwuda
Victor Uraih
Victoria Nwanze
Vincent Ehiabhi
Violet Okosun
Vitalis Ortese
Voke Egborge
Wale Ajani
Wale Fatade
Wale Ozolua
Wale Salami
Wana Udobang
Will Cunningham
Wunika Mukan
Yemi Ademolekun
Yinka Oyegbile
Zachary Gwa
Zainab Sandah
Zino Asalor
Zino Ofoh

2011-12-05T16:19:00.001Z

Tanker drivers lock down Lagos

The problem I have with these tanker drivers is that they have become a law unto themselves. Even worse is that they keep protesting for the wrong reasons. LASTMA from my own observations hardly stop you if you are obeying traffic rules. Note that I accept that the LASTMA people can go overboard in their actions.

Question of the day: why have the tanker drivers and NURTW never protested the state of our roads?

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On the anti-gay Act

2011-11-30T11:37:00.001Z

My honest opinion is that the Senate goofed on this one. You see, while I find homosexuality abhorent, the fact is that first, fourteen years is way overboard; second, we have issues that are far more pressing, not to talk of demanding. Why have our distinguished Senators not said a word about the fact that owing salaries for months on end is the pastime of a lot of Nigerian employers?

And that is just one example...

At the end of the day, the simple truth is this, our legislature just played to the gallery, and we the people bought it big time.

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Dear Lord

2011-11-13T15:39:00.001Z

Last month I rediscovered God. It's been an interesting ride so far, and I must admit that some of my questions still remain. But going to church these past few Sundays has been a comforting experience for me. I am thankful...

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I vow to thee my country

2011-10-24T06:59:00.001+01:00

I vow to thee, my country, all earthly things above,
Entire and whole and perfect, the service of my love;
The love that asks no question, the love that stands the test,
That lays upon the altar the dearest and the best;
The love that never falters, the love that pays the price,
The love that makes undaunted the final sacrifice.

I heard my country calling, away across the sea,
Across the waste of waters she calls and calls to me.
Her sword is girded at her side, her helmet on her head,
And round her feet are lying the dying and the dead.
I hear the noise of battle, the thunder of her guns,
I haste to thee my mother, a son among thy sons.

And there's another country, I've heard of long ago,
Most dear to them that love her, most great to them that know;
We may not count her armies, we may not see her King;
Her fortress is a faithful heart, her pride is suffering;
And soul by soul and silently her shining bounds increase,
And her ways are ways of gentleness, and all her paths are peace.

On Siasia

2011-10-15T11:23:00.001+01:00

Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon on the proposed removal of Siasia:

"I have read with acatalectic disgust, Nigerians asinine and puerile ratiocinations
attempting to justiceate the proposed removal of Samson Siasia.

It has asseverated that it's intentions is guided by the need to checkmate the odoriferous excesses of a machiavellian and mephistophelean cabal and i have said to myself,what a shame? What a self indicting admittal of the failure of... vision? What an hocus-pocus? What an anathematous disdain for it's citizenry?

Must the people now bear the brunt for NFF ineptitude, inefficiency and pusillanimity in squaring up with these economic philistines and fat cows committee members?

I feel even more nauseated and vexed that the Eagles nest has posthaste conferred an apocalyptic imprimatur on this genie.Let's not forget that majority of these same
WOWO had earlier called for this state of affairs as a condition sinequanon for paying for a foreign coach.What an opprobrium? What a deprecable descent from the sublime to the ridiculous?

It's up to us all to put an end to this madness. Siaone must stay!"

- Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon

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Zamfara shows the way...

2011-10-05T16:32:00.000+01:00

There was an early on Sunday that left 19 people dead. Now the Zamfara police have rounded up suspects. Contrast with the situation in Plateau where killers now believe that they own the state.

I just hope that the issue of state police becomes a reality soon because it doesn't make sense for every little thing to be referred to Abuja before it works. No sense at all...

On Mikel's fine

2011-10-05T07:26:00.004+01:00

Samson Siasia fined John Mikel Obi $5000 for coming to camp late. Some people feel that the fine is uncalled for given that Mikel's family

When Mikel had an apparently worse family situation i.e during the kidnap of his father, Chelsea gave him a leave but he didn't accept it.

At the onset of whatever family issue he has now, he had the opportunity to apply for a leave and dash home to see his folks but he didn't do that.

I believe that he chose an inauspicious time for this move. He's trying to kill two birds with one stone but in as much as Nigeria is paying for his air fare to and from the UK, he has the duty to comply with camp rules. SS is right on this.

I don't accept that Mikel should try to do to Nigeria what he couldn't do at Chelsea. His Chelsea team discipline should match that of the SE. Who remembers what Mourinho did to him when he was always late for team training? I guess it's not in public domain.

QoTD

2011-09-28T10:16:00.001+01:00

"Nigerian cities in general look like Japan after that Tsunami hit it. Litter, filth, broken stuff all over, just houses standing in all the disaster around. If Nigerian politicians were not so darn crookish and Nigerians so darn lazy what is there in building simple road?

I would replace all those imported expensive rollers, asphalt spraying equipment with 1 million kunle, emeka and edabor. In 10 years you would have all your roads in Lagos done at 1/10th of the price and that money will cut crime by 70% coz all dem young guys would not be sitting in cyber cafes thinking about who to fleece or thinking about which bank to rob. They would be too tired after a hard day's job."

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Chomsky on 9-11

2011-09-09T12:54:00.000+01:00

For those of you who may not have heard of him, Noam Chomsky is considered one of the greatest thinkers of all time, certainly considered by some to be the greatest thinker alive today. He is the eighth most quoted source in all of recorded history.

This article he wrote about 9-11 and America's behaviour after that (and before), is an example of why he is regarded so highly.

Enjoy reading.

Reply me urgently asap

2011-09-09T08:58:00.001+01:00

Assalamalaikum,
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Abdullah
HP: +44 (703) 590 7701

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The new mass transit service

2011-09-07T10:27:00.000+01:00

“Nigerian Railway Corporation commenced Mass Transit Services in 5 of 6 geo-political zones. Last zone will come on stream by year's end.”

That singular statement, listed as part of President Jonathan’s achievements in 100 days, has generated much conversation on Twitter and Facebook and we are yet to find someone who has traveled via train since the first route (Lagos-Abeokuta) was launched in March!

Enough is Enough Nigeria would pay the round-trip fare to any destination on the new express trains (http://www.nrc-ng.org/ps.php) for 5 people. If you are interested, please send an email to info@eienigeria.org.

Personally, Chxta is yet to see any one of those trains...

War by remote

2011-08-25T19:27:00.002+01:00

Thoughts of a friend that I'm totally in agreement with...

It's always been about opportunism and money. Many in Washington have long memories and would have liked nothing better to deal with Gaddafi. This rebellion was a perfect opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. They are perfecting this strategy of war, destruction and restoration.

Phase A: Use media to allege that a certain dictator is a danger to either his people or the Western World
Phase B: Pressure the UN and International bodies to give them a loose mandate to attack said dictator
Phase C: Find and court dissenters, arm them and get them to do the bulk of the dirty work
Phase D: Start the campaign - war - to get rid of the said dictator
Phase E: Galvanise Western Corporate wolves to plunder the Country under the guise of rebuilding and entrenchment of democracy

Nice tidy business for all!!

Customer service loss

2011-08-17T19:58:00.002+01:00

Most of the time our customer service operatives in this country do not think. The customer is the reason that they have a job in the first place, and when you talk anyhow to such a person, he can, and indeed in Western countries almost always takes his business elsewhere. It is in Nigeria that CSOs behave like they own the world.

Three quick anecdotes.

This morning a caller to Smooth FM announced to Lagos that he was throwing his Globacom SIM card away. What was the reason? He went to the Adeola Odeku Customer Service office of the carrier, and they were rude to him. That's a customer lost to Glo because of a stupid CSO...

An acquaintance of mine, who has a DSTv subscription, as well as a HiTv subscription, went to a HiTv office to pay for his subscription. They asked that he bring his decoder to the office for reset. He reminded the CSO that his house was far away from the office, and he did not have the time to go and come back. He also reminded them that their main competition (if it can be called that), actually have facilities where you can pay from the comfort of your home. Finally, he reminded them that HiTv is not that interesting anymore, and that the only reason he still pays his subscription is the sentimental reason that HiTv is a Nigerian owned business...

Yet another acquaintance is closing his Intercontinental Bank account. Reason, the CSO at their Alausa Branch who kept him on a 3 hour runner, and still could not give him his new cheque book. Stanbic IBTC, a South African bank, will be taking on his business...

I have had my fair of complaints, and have indeed abandoned not one but two bank accounts because of inefficiency. Personally, I think our people will behave a lot better when we begin to boycott certain businesses...

Revolution? I think not

2011-08-16T11:52:00.002+01:00

So I have been hearing increasing murmurs by young people saying that a "revolution" is the only way to change Nigeria.

The most common definition of a revolution is "an overthrow (usually violent), and thorough replacement of an established government, or political system by the people governed".

At face value, this is actually the solution to the problem in Nigeria. However, from my experience it is not, and I will give just one example why, so I will not bore you.

Aper Aku was governor of Benue state from 1979 to 1983 before he, like the rest of the Shagari administration was kicked out in ignominy (for the sake of this history lesson, he died a broken man, of jail induced ill-health in 1988).

One thing that is most instructive is that a good 70% of projects in present day Benue state, were started by Mr. Aku! Most were abandoned after he was kicked out of power. Bear in mind that there was this state creation exercise that split a part of Aper Aku's domain into Kogi state.

One of such projects is a hotel on the banks of the Benue River, the Sheraton, which was left abandoned until last year. Some geezer from Niger came to Makurdi, got government consent, and began renovation work, then he was stopped.

Why was he stopped?

Some local politicians decided in their wisdom that since he is not a Tiv man, he cannot own such a big project on Tiv soil. The locals rejoiced because the Tiv "bigmen" had "protected" the sanctity of the Tiv heritage.

Of course, it never occurred to any of the celebrating locals that our Nigerien friend's investment would provide jobs that will take on a lot of Tiv boys and girls, in this, Nigeria's 7th most populated state, but 15th in terms of PPP...

Therein, in this anecdotal tale, lies the reason why a Chinese type "people's revolution" in Nigeria is doomed to failure.

Nigeria's population have largely bought into the bullshit spewed forth by our elite that it is the next man from the next ethnic group (I hate the word tribe) that is responsible for our problems. It is not. I have written a lot about how the elite regardless of ethnic or religious affiliation have conspired to keep the country down, no doubt I will write more.

However, that is not the thrust of this piece.

A violent change of guards is predicated on one thing, that the population in question has a sufficient enough sense of national unity and oneness to follow the process through. History bears this out, in France, in Russia, in China, in Cuba.

When the population is deeply divided along ethnic or religious lines, the revolution quickly degenerates into anarchy. History again bears this out, The Peasant's Revolt in England in 1381, The Indian Revolt against the British East India Company of 1857, the second Russian revolution, the rebels in today's Libya who in reality are fighting amongst themselves as much as they are fighting against Gadaffi...

Nigeria, sadly has a largely ignorant population, yes, even those who have Doctorates are largely ignorant of their own country and its peoples. What is worse, is that most Nigerians are ignorant of our own history. A violent revolution will only lead to anarchy. What we need here, is a revolution of our minds. We need real education.

Excellent writing on the Brit riots

2011-08-15T08:23:00.000+01:00

It's been a long time since anyone had me giving a standing ovation, but this piece by Peter Oborne did just that...

I will give my thoughts later.

Credit ratings, an idiot's guide

2011-08-06T13:37:00.001+01:00

This morning credit agency Standard & Poor's slashed the credit rating of the world's largest economy from triple A to the less fancied double-A. This means that only 16 countries in the world hold the highly coveted triple-A rating from both Standard & Poor's and Moody's.

Canada, France, Germany, Norway, Singapore, Sweden and Switzerland are among those with the undisputed stamp of approval, as are Australia, Finland, the Isle of Man and the Netherlands.

The triple-A rating enables nations to borrow funds at a low cost, because their governments are considered stable and their bonds safe, something that is a long way off for Nigeria...

The U.S. for example, has seen its dollar become the world's No. 1 reserve currency because its bonds were held in very high regard by investors. They're backed by the "full faith and credit of the U.S. government" -- which until today, had never been called into question except by the Chinese, who's ratings agency actually downgraded the U.S two years ago.

Already the downgrade has taken a toll.

Before November 2007, the United States boasted some of the safest bonds in the world. That started to gradually change with the recession.

Investors can discern the "risk" associated with a country's debt, by looking at the cost to insure against a possible default -- through a financial instrument called a credit default swap. In the case of the U.S., that cost surged on Thursday to its highest level since 2009.

Because of that, U.S. bonds are no longer in the clear lead as a safe bet, compared to other triple-A rated countries.

By looking at the prices of 5-year credit default swaps, Norway's debt ranks the safest, followed by Sweden, Switzerland, Finland, the Netherlands and Australia.

Even with Tuesday's debt deal, today's ratings cut means that the U.S. has joined the ranks of the lower-level, double-A rated countries like China, Spain, Japan, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait.

In a nutshell, it means that the world's economy has just changed forever.

For the records, Nigeria, according to Standard & Poor's has a credit rating of B+. Their major concern regarding our ability to meet our financial obligations has to do with just one thing, POLITICS.

In their exact words, "high political risk, weak political institutions, and an ongoing struggle with good governance".

The bottomline is that the tie-in between politics and economics has been made VERY obvious with this. Foolish politics makes for hard econokic realities. Foolish politics have brought America down from its pre-eminent position, and on this side of the pond, our brand of politics is somewhere below foolish...

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We the people...

2011-08-05T06:51:00.003+01:00

That's the first line of our Constitution, but the question needs to be asked if we really understand what this means.

You see, from the reaction (the Nigerian reaction), to yesterday's monumental story about the need to spend upwards of US$1billion, and at least 30 years to clean up Ogoni land, a reaction that was very muted, a lot comes into play.

We really don't care about each other, yet we expect the government to care about us? Forget it, it ain't gonna fucking happen.

Truth is this, with the exception perhaps of Diezani, all of our current government topshots were once "floor members" of Nigeria, a part of the masses. The examples abound: GEJ was a bloody lecturer 15 years ago. Adams was an aluta continua type fellow 8 years ago. Kalu was a student union leader 21 years ago. Lucky and Alao-Akala were "motor park" boys years back. Ikedi was in a cybercafe years back. Reuben was a government critic months back. So how did these people suddenly transform into people who are so out of touch with the average Naija?

They did not transform. They only moved to the next level. Like will happen to all of us given our proclivity of being unconcerned with our next door neighbour.

The words of Jesus, "Love thy neighbour" mean fuck all to the average Naija. A more civilised take in today's Daily Times...

Quote of the day

2011-07-30T17:53:00.002+01:00

”It is not true that four years “is too short” for a President or a Governor to make a difference. The President didn’t get it, and it is important that he does. The period appears too short because many of our elected Governors and Presidents (well, we have had only a few) begin to think of what to do, only when they get to office. They have no blueprint, no clear understanding of what is required, they do not even listen to the people well enough, and the parties that brought them to power have no manifesto, no plan of action, no defined contract with the Nigerian people. Given such background, the complexity of bureaucracy and the enormity of official powers could prove so intimidating that the typical overnight man of power could find himself or herself completely ill-prepared for high office. But this is what we want changed. In states where the Governors are prepared, we have seen so much done in four years.”

– Reuben Abati

A misguided union

2011-07-29T06:57:00.002+01:00

Without any apology to anyone, I believe that the hierarchy of the labour unions in Nigeria is populated by morons.

On another note, I find it significant that this article which I submitted to the editors at The Daily Times a few days ago was published today, the very same day that The Guardian published a story telling us that labour wants to mobilise people for another (aborted?) strike.

After the pissed on opportunity of last week, who should take them serious? Such a person's head would need to be examined...

Remember?

2011-07-28T20:04:00.001+01:00

Whitehall pays £3,500 for a £250 computer in 'obscene' waste of public money | Mail Online

I once talked about something like this. Currently typing on a mobile device, so I can't pull up the link...

I'll talk about it in further detail on January 2, 2013.

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Wasted life?

2011-07-23T22:30:00.001+01:00

That Amy Winehouse has passed away should not be news anymore. Neither should it surprise anyone that she died of a suspected overdose.

Amy was a talented Singer, and the world will miss her music. Truth though is that the late Amy was such a talent that she ought to have been mentioned in the same breath as Aretha Franklin. She never made it that far...

I hope that the big lesson from her brief stay with us will be learned, a bad habit can prevent you from achieving your potential.

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On Ojukwu

2011-07-14T10:01:00.001+01:00

Sahara Reporters ran a story alleging that Bianca Onoh-Ojukwu and Peter Obi have 'abandoned' Ikemba Nnewi.

1, should the governor of Anambra state use state funds to treat a private citizen?
2, Ojukwu nominally has a lot of supporters among ndi Igbo, many of them very wealthy. Why did it have to be Adenuga, a non-Igbo to transport him abroad for treatment?
3, why has there been no public contribution by Ohaneze, not even (as far as I know) a statement concerning the health of this (it must be noted that I don't like him) Igbo icon.

Now my rant: When the man was hale and hearty he was surrounded by adoring "friends", "family" and "associates", where are all of them now?

The story of the commissioner moving in with Bianca I do not believe, no one will be foolish enough to take such a huge risk, or am I being naive?

Uju Robert Okonkwo is commissioner for 'special duties'. It would appear that "special duties' involves rodding nwunye Ikemba if SR is to be believed...

Why do we have that stupid position in our cabinets? Our President has taken it a step further by appointing a 'special adviser for special duties'!

In any event, the moral of that part of the story for all men is this: don't trade in your wife for a younger model. Ojukwu did it twice. Younger models of such a product have needs that ought to be met, and a rule of thumb means that such needs are meetable only by similar (in age) specimens...

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Everyone is in on the game

2011-07-14T07:49:00.003+01:00

One of the surest encouraging factors of the culture of impunity we have in Nigeria is the failure of the police as an institution. While you might not support my position that Nigeria as a country has failed and needs urgent and decisive action, I'm quite sure that there's no one amongst our almost 166 million strong population who can argue with the fact that our 381000 strong police force is a total failure.

You want examples? The pictures below provide some almost humorous examples.

The monumental Human Rights Watch report about these guys makes for scary reading...

For me, the scariest picture is the man on the bike with the beer...

Wastage

2011-07-11T22:30:00.001+01:00

It goes all the way up. Rather than think of the economy, we are thinking of appeasing various "interest groups", whatever that means, and are creating more ministries.

When will this culture of waste stop?

I can hazard a guess, NEVER!

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African countries and war

2011-07-09T10:33:00.001+01:00

In answer to the question of whether we are more prone to war post independence than pre-colonialism...

"No. As a general statement, all humans are prone to war and violence, males more than females, especially when resources are limited, and the other guy has something one guy wants such as women or arable land.

Also men generally just love combat and will go off to harass and harangue or even kill the guys in the next community just for the heck of it, or to keep their killing skills sharp, or just to grab women.

Testosterone is a killer, a rapist, a pillager.

The real reason why the West has not fought any "tribal" wars recently is that they have solved their inter-tribal resource problems, and are materially well off. It also helps that their last tribal war resulted in some 50 million dead, and some 3 million German women forcibly nacked by those victorious Russki barbarians. The result is that the West's conflicts are now with other "far off tribes" who control resources that might interfere with the West's prosperity."
---Pa Ohsee

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Denial...

2011-07-05T20:15:00.002+01:00

"Denial is a river in Egypt," ---Winston Churchill.

One of my closest friends, Henry, constantly says that Chxta loves telling people, "I told you so". Maybe he is right.

However, and I know that this sounds haughty, on a lot of issues, I am right. There is the occasional issue when I am wrong, such as when I was quite sure that Bankole had left Naija, and when I refused to listen to my Pa and forget about a flight.

In any event, an argument that has been raging on for quite a while now is whether Nigeria is a failed state (or Banana Republic, whichever you prefer or don't prefer). I know that it hurts our sensibilities a lot, but come on, we have to admit where we are before we can even begin to think of moving forward. We live in a country where a state governor and a sitting Senator had to apologise to rebels because they have lost confidence in the ability of the police to protect them!

Unfortunately, this culture of denial is so deep rooted in our psyche that in general as a people when we are wrong, we simply refuse to accept it, but would rather go to extreme lengths to look the other way and pretend that all is well.

A good example happened on my Facebook wall this evening. I put up a humorous tweet from Oria asking a question about the state of security in Abuja. In the argument which followed, one of the commentators suddenly, and to my mind for no apparent reason, brought up Islamic banking.

I tried within the limits of my patience (one of my weaknesses is my patience, or lack of) to educate him. Then he made a jibe about asking SLS to remove the word 'Islamic' from the banking. At that point I lost it, and called him out for what he is, a bigot.

Rather than accept he had done wrong, he denied ever making that comment, and went as far as deleting the comment. Luckily, I take screenshots of my computer regularly, so I was able to prove that he did indeed make that comment.

His reaction? To block me off of his Facebook friend's list.

I am no Saint, on the contrary, my sins are many. But I am the first to admit to those sins. Same way I admit to my weaknesses and failures. That way, I can accept them, and work to overcome them.

Sadly, most of my fellow countrymen do not. Therein, in an issue that occurs everyday in this country, lies probably the greatest tragedy of Nigeria.

Facebook privacy

2011-07-03T18:56:00.001+01:00

Am I the only one who can no longer untaught himself from photos uploaded by other people on Facebook?

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A frank statement

2011-06-27T20:38:00.001+01:00

"You cannot qualify war in harsher terms than I will. War is cruelty, and you cannot refine it; and those who brought war into this country deserve all the curses and maledictions a people can pour out. I know I had no hand in making this war, and I know I will make more sacrifices today than any of you to secure peace. But you cannot have peace and a division of our country. If the United States submits to a division now, it will not stop, but will go on until we reap the fate of Mexico, which is eternal war […] I want peace."
---William T. Sherman, 1864

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Failed state (2)

2011-06-24T09:12:00.001+01:00

Until we accept where we are, we can't move forward...

Being called a failed state is not about life being brutish, or about countries being poor, or about a country being free from corruption.

A "failed state" refers to a country where the government has little, very limited, or no impact on the daily lives of its people, countries where to all intents and purposes, government is not functioning.

Think of Pakistan, where bin Laden could hide for years very close to a military base without the government having a clue, a place where another country (the US) can launch an operation without informing the state...

Now, let's localize it.

With the exception of the Nigerian Army (who once again brushed the police yesterday), what other national institution functions well in Naija? NEPA? Police? (Boko Haram will have a word about that), the Judiciary? (ask Brother Dimeji), FERMA? (check almost all Federal roads), NPA? (check the queue of ships waiting at our sole working port), Universities? public schools? NNPC? refineries? NCC? NITEL?

When you have a state that doesn't exist to its citizens, that is a failed state.

Now, ask yourself again, is Naija a failed state?

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Rain

2011-06-18T14:19:00.001+01:00

Yesterday's rain was the start of worse to come. As we all know, Lagos sits on a flood plain and lacks proper drainage.

Last night I went to The Palms Shopping Mall a full twelve hours after the morning rains, and the roads were still undr water, especially at Oniru. Why was that?

There are no drains.

Someone needs a proper lesson in urban planning...

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Failure...

2011-06-16T16:06:00.001+01:00

How long before the gaping security concerns are addressed?

How long will the government keep turning a blind eye?

Do they really think that the problems will disappear if treated like they are not there?

Is it when someone parks a truck bomb in Aso Rock that we will finally admit that we are citizens of a failed state?

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My new pop single

2011-06-08T18:47:00.003+01:00

I wanna be a Senator so fucking bad
Buy all of the chics I never had
I wanna be on the cover of ThisDay Style
Standing next to Patience and Jona
"Wazzup TY?"
Cos everytime I close my eyes
I see my face in shining lights
A different ashi every night I swear
Oh no, Naija better prepare
For when I'm a Senator...

Happy holidays guys.

Bankole's escape

2011-06-03T13:27:00.001+01:00

Follow the drama here

As things stand, the BA flight from Abuja left at 0845. I believe that right now, Mr. Bankole has just crossed the Mediterranean and is over the South of France. French Riviera to be precise, where he will probably end up with his loot. You see, he is a subject of the English Crown, and I sincerely doubt that those bungling EFCC operatives be able to put together a case for extradition...

I hope I'm wrong.

Edit: I was wrong thankfully. The man is still in Naija, and has agreed to surrender himself on Monday.

Remembering Bankole's shenanigans

2011-06-01T08:05:00.002+01:00

Back in early 2009, a close friend of mine paid a visit to a major Peugeot vehicle dealer in Abuja, and as is the case up until now, the Peugeot 407 was prominently displayed in the showroom. He got in and asked how much one of the Comfort Automatics cost. He was provided with a brochure which told him that the cost of the vehicle was N5.1 million. Asked if there was a discount, he was told that there was a 3% discount on bulk purchase, which brought the price of each unit down to about N4.9 million.

For those who may not remember what all the hullabaloo was about, it was reported back in 2008 that a contract to purchase of 280 Peugeot 407 salon cars as “committee” vehicles for the members of the House of Representatives had been inflated by around N480 million, and Festus Keyamo, the firebrand activist lawyer stormed the National Assembly in possession of certain documents and confronted the members of the House with their fraud. He was called all sorts of names, well nigh physically assaulted, and there were loud calls for probes. After a lot of noise was made, and a lot of ink spilled on the pages of the newspapers, the matter was promptly forgotten, and the actors paid their wages.

From the figures that were given, it was clear that the fraud was in fact far greater than Mr. Keyamo had claimed.

Bear in mind, dear reader, that the prices given my friend were dealer’s price. The House of Reps purchased their vehicles directly from the manufacturer, so all the little additions dealers build into their prices should have, and must have been absent. For starters, 280 cars is by any standards a very large order, and must have attracted a massive discount. Factor in that a Peugeot 407 from the manufacturer cost around £15,700 in 2008 (N3.2 million at the exchange rate then) and the scale of the fraud simply boggles the mind. There was in fact a standing discount of £2,100 on every 407 purchased. When you factor in that, you got a price of £13,600 or N2.85 million for each and every 407. Now, factor in an order of 280 cars to a vehicle manufacturing company eager to please government officials and looking to regain its position as the official car of choice, and factor in your own imaginative discount.

When you multiply that amount by 280 cars, you get N775.6 million. In TOTAL. Subtract the above sum from the N2.3 billion claimed as spent on the cars, and we get the tidy sum of around N1.524 billion having made its way into private pockets.

Now, let’s go off on a tangent, and assume that each car did in fact cost the Dealer’s price of N4.9 per vehicle. That would still leave us far short of N2.3 billion as we come in at around N1.2 billion for 260 Peugeot 407s.

But they didn’t go to a car dealer, they went directly to the source. Leaving aside the fact that there aren’t 280 Committees in the House of Reps, and that the same House of Reps had already purchased a fleet of buses for the Committees, and assuming that the decision to designate the cars as “Committee” vehicles was merely a means to circumvent the directive of the Executive that there would be no purchase of official vehicles for House of Reps members, the scale of greed involved here is almost unimaginable.

And to the “explanation” that they had to place a rush order for the cars which they say justified the price, I must respond: “Was the Peugeot factory closed?”, “Had they stopped manufacturing the 407?” and “How in the blue fuck does Peugeot hear you want 280 cars and not give you a discount?” Somebody in that office would have touched the ceiling with glee. And when we add in (and I must reiterate) the fact that Peugeot are looking for a way back to the glory days when virtually all government vehicles were supplied by them, they would have all but kissed the feet of the House of Reps members with joy.

Then there are the rumours about Ini Edo, Gbemi Saraki and the NITEL building...

#lunchwithGEJ

2011-05-26T07:29:00.005+01:00

"Now I have realised that talking with Goodluck Jonathan in public and private amounts to sacrilege before young Nigerians on Twitter" ---Mercy Abang

"Twitter is the Internet gone mad" ---Chippla Vandu in 2008 (and probably Ryan Giggs as we speak).

Some time last week, I received an email inviting me to have lunch with the President of Nigeria. The invitation clearly stated that it was meant to be a youth event. Being someone who spends a lot of time on a radio and television show criticising the President, and even more time writing critical articles about his Administration, I was pleasantly surprised that the invitation was not by the security services. I accepted the invitation, which by the way, happens not to be the first time that this Administration is reaching out to me for ideas and dialogue.

On the day of the event, I donned a suit, made sure I looked my best, and I proceeded to the venue, which was the Eko Hotel in Victoria Island, Lagos. The first thing I noticed was that the road leading to the venue, Olosa Street, had been resurfaced. Now, Olosa, a road that I ply very regularly, is normally full of potholes, so my immediate thought was, "how the hell will the President ever know that something is wrong if we repair things each time he comes around?" However, I took a look in my rear-view mirror, and kept my opinions to myself. In my own little way, I am also guilty of putting on my Sunday best. How often do I wear a suit? I can totally understand the road maintainers concerns that the Presidential behind does not get bruised on our gullies.

The event itself was poorly organised. Some of the 'youth' present were men about as old as my 62 year old father. Some of these men jostled me out of the way as we were trying to get accreditation to enter the venue, and I found myself wondering why, if there was a master-list of invitees, did we have to get accredited. Once inside the foyer, we had to fill a questionnaire in which we ranked the issues that we would like the President to address most urgently. My issues are Power-Education-Security-Jobs-Corruption and others in that order.

On getting in, finding my table was hard enough, but I got a pleasant surprise, I was seated close to the centre table. Good opportunity for a one-on-one with the President, or so I thought, I was wrong. The table inserted between mine and the President's was filled with members of his emerging kitchen cabinet and a few people who are trying to get into that inner circle such as the failed Lagos governor-to-be. The event was not exactly the kind of interactive session that I had hoped for, and of the seven plus one pre-selected speakers, only Red Communication's Chude Jideonwo gave a speech which was really critical of the government.

Jonathan's speech itself revealed what I already know about him. He is learning. Learning how not to speak out of turn, something I have heavily criticised him for in the past. He is also clearly growing in confidence. I only wonder if he can successfully navigate his way through the piranha infested waters that is the government of Nigeria, but that is something we can only find out with time.

After the President's speech, there was some music, and for me, the minor irritation of some dimwit praise singers, singing that GEJ is their 'rock of ages'. As an aside, can someone please ask TY Bello to stick with her promise not to do live performances?

When the event was about to end, there was an announcement that the participants at the lunch should wait behind. At that point, I jokingly updated my Facebook status to ask the question whether we were being asked to wait for the President's security which is unarguably very important, or whether we were being asked to wait for GMGs (Ghana Must Go bags). In any event, some of us who are resident on the Lagos Mainland left. The reasoning was that we had come for lunch and we had to get back to our day jobs, or home, before the security induced traffic would begin. In my case, I factored in the fact that on most Tuesdays, Lagos traffic is really bad, due to Aswani market. Again, the last time the President was in Lagos on a Tuesday, I was sat on a closed-off Third Mainland Bridge for five hours!

An hour later, I was home and that was when the madness began. The first allegation of gratification collected by attendees at the lunch was started by Kayode Ogundamisi via a blackberry broadcast. I replied him immediately to tell him that that did not happen, and thought nothing more of the matter. I went back to work, then to bed, then woke up to head to Victoria Island for Smooth 98.1's Freshly Pressed and there it was again, allegations of 50k received by Lagos based participants at the lunch, and 150k received by up country. By day's end, and on a day which I had to gone to Abuja for a meeting, my twitter timeline was full.

For the sake of clarity, an honorarium is a standard part of any political or business event worldwide. So that is a moot point.

However, the amounts alleged to have been dished out are admittedly too high, and if any one of the participants at the lunch event did receive such an amount, he has to look into the mirror and question himself. But, it must be made very clear that I am yet to meet anyone who collected the alleged money. What I heard from Adebola Williams of the Enough is Enough Coalition, who happened to have a meeting at Eko Hotel in the evening, is that there was a stampede at the venue of the lunch. This stampede occurred at 2030 hours. A full five and half hours after most of us left the venue.

In any event, my main annoyance is with the people especially on Twitter who have taken it on themselves to cast aspersions on ALL the attendees at the event, myself included. Let me state here in no uncertain terms: I did not collect a kobo for attending the lunch. I can also vouch for the following people - Sade Ladipo, Subomi Plumptre, Seyi Taylor, Hadiza Mohammed and Toyin Fajj. We all left about the same time.

Let me go further again and state that the very next morning, anyone who bothered to tune in to Smooth 98.1's Freshly Pressed heard me criticising the very government who gave me lunch the day before.

What must be made even clearer is that a lot of the arm-chair critics have no clue about how democracy works. Democracy is a simple process which involves bringing people with divergent ideas into a room, trashing out those ideas, and finding either a common ground for progress, or in the alternative, discarding the weaker ideas and moving ahead with the stronger ones. Simple and short, we MUST engage and dialogue with our elected representatives, even if in some cases they may have been fraudulently elected. There is no other way to move forward.

I must also say that I actually regret not collecting the 50k (I reside in Lagos) if it is true. The transformer in my area is acting up, and my generator has told me in no uncertain terms that he wants a helper. 50k would have gone a long way in getting an Eve for that particular Adam...

Getting DSK out of jail

2011-05-17T12:07:00.001+01:00

This is the handiwork of a friend of mine, who happens to be a lawyer, and also has a VERY active imagination...

Scenario 1: DSK comes out naked from his bathroom and he sees a young woman dressed as a hotel maid rummaging through his personal effects. He accosts her and she appears to shove something (maybe jewellery, a memory stick containing top secret or sexually incriminating info wanted by tabloids or even a bug she had wanted to plant in his hotel phone) into her underwear and makes for the door.

Without thinking he chases after her and catches her on the hallway. She struggles and he tries to obtain what she’s hiding. He now realizes the MD of the IMF is naked, poking his hand into the underwear of a housemaid in the hallway of Hotel Sofitel on Times Square. He drags her into the room but she manages to run into bathroom and flushes the incriminating stuff. They struggle but he lets her go after she refuses to explain what she was doing in his room.

He is disoriented. He has an urgent meeting and a plane to catch (he did go to see someone after the occurrence). Maybe he needed to see a private eye or adviser because he suspects “Shakorsky” or some other political rival from France wants to plant something on him. In this state of flux he forgets his phones at the hotel. I mean Saturday wasn’t exactly a normal day. Why didn’t he report to the police? Somewhere in his mind maybe he thinks even if she wasn’t sent from France she’s probably FBI and telling the police would be a no-no.

How long has the hotel maid been working in Sofitel Times Square? Has she lived in France before? Could she have been paid by French intelligence or sleuths to stage him for a fall? Has she been suspected of stealing in Sofitel before even if unproven? What is the procedure for confirming if a hotel guest is still in the room? Did she follow proper procedure? If she follow proper procedure what is the probability she would have entered an occupied hotel room? Since Sofitel is a French hotel group managed by Accor could this be a hotel managed or sanctioned conspiracy?

Life is beautiful

2011-05-14T02:03:00.003+01:00

I ought to listen to my Dad more. I just arrived back home from a near death experience, which has redefined my perspective on life as I know it.

I was on a flight to Abuja yesterday evening/this morning, we got to Abuja, but had to turn around. That flight, Air Nigeria's VK57 could very easily have been breaking news on CNN as we speak.

The first inkling that something was wrong was when my dad sent a text yesterday morning warning me about Friday the 13th. I took it as superstitious trash, and dismissed it. We had discussed it earlier when I told him of my intention to travel on that day. His advice had been that I travel either the day before, or the day after. What I found weird about the whole arrangement is that in my 31 years on the planet, my Dad has never talked up Friday the 13th, so why now?

I got to the airport in time for a 1740 flight, checked in and sat down to wait. As is usual with Nigerian flights, it was delayed. I took no notice, this was not new. However, by 2000, my Dad began to call me, his request was that I forget about the trip.

"Why would I throw money away?" was my question, "besides, all the other people travelling, are they less special than I am?"

He called again and again, and I simply ignored him. Finally we boarded the plane at 2110. Then we spent another hour sitting on the tarmac. What happened?

Dayo Adedayo and his co-traveller had paid for Business Class seats. Unfortunately, the stupidity of the airline staff meant that they were denied their seats. Knowing their rights, they were having none of it, and somehow the whole thing actually descended progressively from a shouting match to threats, to an actual fist being thrown. I found it at the same time irritating and entertaining.

Finally we took off for Abuja at 2220. The pilot announced that it would be a 55 minute flight, and that we were scheduled to land at 2315. No problems, I went to sleep, and it was a nice, deep sleep. That was until the man in the next seat grabbed me tight. The plane was shaking!

We had arrived Abuja in the middle of a storm and the pilot was attempting to land. On the first attempt, he ran headlong into a very strong wind which gripped and shook the entire plane. At that point, I could see the lights of the airport. On the second attempt, the shaking was even fiercer. He finally gave up after the third attempt, by which time I could not see any further than the light of the wing, just outside the window. The storm (and wind) was that intense. When he circled again, I thought that he was going to make a fourth attempt to land, and was by this time convinced that he had a death wish.

However, he calmly announced that we were heading back to Lagos. And that was when the drama began. I shit you not, all the way from Abuja until we began the descent into Lagos, there was turbulence. The plane changed altitude so many times that my stomach still feels a little queasy. Of course there was a cacophony of prayers in the plane. As for me, I realised in those moments, that when you think you just might die, your life does truly flash before your eyes. Mine flashed before me at least four times earlier today, and now I realise that there are people I need to make serious amends to.

I will not complain about what happened when we finally touched down safely in Lagos, that is an article for the Daily Times of Nigeria. What I will say here is that I am so grateful to be alive, and I feel that I've been reborn.

Sincere apologies

2011-04-25T11:50:00.003+01:00

Dear blog, it's been over a month since I updated you last. My sincere apologies. I once again promise that I will NEVER abandon you. It's just that I have been extremely busy the last month. I have been to Abuja like every week. It's been HECTIC!

In the meanwhile, the new Ubuntu operating system will be available in a few days. What do you think of the look?

Two good ones...

2011-03-31T07:27:00.001+01:00

Henry Okelue tells us that it is time for us to take sides. "Now the elections themselves are upon us. Let us all troop out en-masse, let every Nigerian above the age of 18 go out and vote, let our numbers send a signal to the politicians that it is going to be a different ball game this time around."

Yemi Soneye asks if the opposition is ready to step in if we throw out the PDP next month, in his view, they are not, and removing the PDP might prove to be a disaster. "In all sincerity, none of the present opposition parties in Nigeria have made herself a desirable and worthy successor to the ruling PDP."

Lessons learned from living in the USA

2011-03-23T12:25:00.002Z

Parents report son driving without meds. Cops kill him

The lessons:

Try your hardest to minimize your contact with law enforcement, a.k.a police. This can be done in several ways but the ones that work best are:

1. Minimize your driving. If you can bus, train or cab it, do so with immediate alacrity.

2. Minimize contact with emotional, highly-strung or overly dramatic people. These people will definitely bring the police and your dear self in close contact sooner or later.

3. Lastly, never ever call the police to your residence. This would seem obvious in light of what I have written above, but I will write it anyway. The police are not your friend.

The 53 suitcases

2011-03-21T19:38:00.000Z

1984: Muhammadu Buhari was the Head of State, his sidekick was the military hardliner Tunde Idiagabon. The government decided to change the currency, in an effort to revamp the economy which had been in freefall since 1981. They also wanted to force the politicains they had deposed to come back with their stolen loot. In those days, the Naira was trading at N1.50 to GB£1, and 85 kobos to US$1. (Yes, this was the exchange rate in those days!!!! If you can lay your hands on a copy of Punch, Daily Times or Punch newspapers from 1985, you can check these facts out for yourself).

As part of the currency conversion excercise nobody was allowed to take any money outside Nigeria's borders. Lo and behold it was reported that the Emir of Gwandu successfully smuggled out 53 suitcases of naira notes, presumably to change into foreign currency abroad before it became worthless.

The press and social critics raised a lot of dust about this, but nothing concrete was done about it. Nevetheless, the credibility of the Buhari regime suffered terribly as a result of this.

The story which eventually became the accepted true-version was that he took the suitcases to the airport, but the customs officer on duty, a certain Alhaji Abubakar Atiku wanted them confiscated and reported to the military government. However, the Emir came to the airport with some army officers, two Colonels who insisted that the Emir must fly out with his Naira laden luggage. In case you were wondering, yes, the customs boss in question is no other than Alhaji Atiku, who would eventually become Vice President.

What happened really was this: Atiku was alleged to have waived all formality to let the Emir and his entourage through without even searching one suitcase. Most customs officers at the scene were shocked and appalled. It was also later alleged that many of the suitcases were filled with money. This incident incensed the then Head of State, General Buhari and his Deputy, Brig. Tunde Idiagbon, who ordered an immediate and thorough investigation into the matter, to the chargrin of the Head of State's then ADC, Maj. Mustafa Jokolo, who was also the Emir's first son.

The Finance Minister at the time, Onaolapo Soleye and another young but influential Army Officer, Col. Chris Alli, tried in vain to plead Atiku's case before Buhari and Idiagbon. Fate conspired in Abubakar's favour just as his trial was all set to go ahead: General Ibrahim Babangida, in an alleged effort to save his own skin, overthrew the Buhari regime. This worked perfectly well for Atiku Abubakar, who was eventually eased out of office (effectively sacked).

...and that, despite the trash being bandied around today, is the true story of the 53 suitcases. Class dismissed.

The debate, my thoughts

2011-03-19T07:16:00.001Z

To be up front, I am NOT going to be voting for any PDP candidate in the coming elections. I am of the opinion that their party has done a lot of damage to Nigeria in the last decade.

However, watching last Friday's NN24 Presidential debate, I was reminded that democracy is all about choice. The debate itself was excellently moderated by 234NEXT's Kadaria Ahmed, my former boss, and it left me wondering about my earlier criticisms of the All Nigeria People's Party (ANPP) candidate, Ibrahim Shekarau. At the start of the debate, I was disappointed in the Action Congress of Nigeria (ACN) candidate's response to the first question thrown at him, about his relationship with the party's head-honcho, Bola Tinubu. But to his credit, Nuhu Ribadu recovered quite well. General Muhammadu Buhari is not as articulate as either of the other two debaters, but you could see that he has a passion on a level that neither of the other two have. And maybe in a democracy that is not good.

You see, democracy by its very nature involves some horse-trading, something I do no think that Buhari is quite capable of. But then I digress...

I must throw in what Timothy Igbinosun, a childhood friend of mine remarked. He said, "Try not to ask the questions in a perfect circle. You will keep catching the first person unawares giving the opponent time to think, analyse the question and jot down responses. Buhari answered majority of questions on impulse (besides the fact that he is not such a good public speaker.) Ribadu picks the rebound from the General's stutter, and Shekarau buries the case smoothly (on top of being a great orator!) So for each question, start with someone new and alternate accordingly."

Very wise words.

I was quite impressed by Mr. Shekarau's performance. My earlier crticisms of him stemmed from his handling of the vaccination issue in Kano some years ago, the very question which Kadaria asked him, and boy, did she corner him. However, the man composed himself well, even though his answer to my cynical mind was a lot of political crap. That aside, Mr. Shekarau appears to have a good understanding of the issues facing Nigerians. I am going to dig into his record as Kano state governor better, and get back to you with my opinion before the elections.

Ribadu also performed well. He is passionate. He also tended to break the rules governing the length of time the speakers were allowed. To less discerning people, he would appear arrogant, but I would call him supremely confident. I think his best response was with regards the question on hospitals. Nigeria NEEDS functioning hospitals in the country.

Frankly, the General's performance was below expectation. However, I blame it on the fact that he is not as articulate as the other two. My biggest disappointment in the debate though, is that no one dwelt on the issue of transportation long enough. Kadaria only gave them 30 seconds or so each on that critical sector.

Ultimately, what came out of yesterday's debate is that there is not much to choose between the candidates, and we still have a long way to go. However, and in my not-so-humble opinion, any one of these three candidates is a better choice than the current President. Especially after the President's slap-in-the-face-to-all-of-us of not turning up. Kadaria was always going to ask the relevant questions, it is obvious that GEJ did not want to face those questions, hence his accepting to be 'interviewed' by a musician the day before.

What is unfortunate is that (and I know that I sound very elitist here) members of the proletariat I spoke to yesterday (two taxi drivers) were so impressed with GEJ's 'humility' in accepting to be interviewed by Kokomaster. That is probably an indicator of direction the coming elections will take. Our people have been so miseducated, that they can no longer tell the difference between shit and roses. The people who had access to yesterday's debate were mainly the elite. The proletariat saw GEJ and his musical performance of the day before, and were impressed by it. The proletariat outnumber the elite almost by 90 to 1.

That, is probably the true tragedy of our existence.

Chemicals in the home...

2011-02-23T17:02:00.002Z

*I wrote this for Artisan's Monthly, a new magazine in Lagos, but it was rejected by the editor, a rather hard, but very pretty young lady, on the grounds that it was too health oriented.

Cancer is a class of diseases in which a group of cells display uncontrolled growth, invasion that intrudes upon and destroys adjacent tissues, and sometimes metastasis, or spreading to other locations in the body via lymph or blood. These three malignant properties of cancers differentiate them from benign tumours, which do not invade or metastasise.

Researchers divide the causes of cancer into two groups: those with an environmental cause and those with a hereditary genetic cause.

It must be noted though, that cancer is primarily an environmental disease, though genetics influence the risk of some cancers. Common environmental factors leading to cancer include: tobacco, diet and obesity, infections, radiation, lack of physical activity, and environmental pollutants.

Incidents of cancer are on the rise in Nigeria, some studies estimating that one in two Nigerian males will be at risk of contracting cancer at some point in his life, and this tells us just how careful we have to be. You see, as we pointed out earlier, cancer is primarily an environmental disease with 90-95% of cases attributed to environmental factors. The common environmental factors that contribute to cancer death include: tobacco (25-30%), diet and obesity (30-35%), infections (15-20%), radiation (both ionizing and non ionizing, up to 10%), stress, lack of physical activity, and environmental pollutants.

Nigeria, despite repeated warnings from the Federal Ministry of Health, companies that produce cigarettes are increasing production in the country, and as a result, more Nigerians are taking up smoking. The problem here is a lack of the necessary political will to make life a bit more uncomfortable for such companies as has been done in Europe and the United States.

Again, the average Nigerian leads a sedentary lifestyle. Take the Lagosian as an example, most of us wake up at unholy hours of the morning in order to sit in traffic for countless hours per day, get to the office, do more sitting, then again sit in countless hours of traffic on our return journey home. In between the physical exertions, we do not even think of exercise.

Then there is environmental pollution, which dovetails nicely into another scourge that we have in this part of the world, malaria.

Malaria is a mosquito-borne infectious disease of humans caused by Plasmodium. It is widespread in tropical and subtropical regions. The disease results from the multiplication of the malaria parasites within red blood cells, causing symptoms that typically include fever and headache, in severe cases progressing to coma, and death. Malaria is commonly associated with poverty, and can indeed be a cause of poverty and a major hindrance to economic development.

What would be a shock however is that incidents of malaria are also on the rise, especially in our urban areas. Also shocking is that deaths from malaria are also quite high compared to the population.

But is it something to be shocked about? Or better still, is it something to be surprised at?

We all know the drill, malaria is caused by a tiny insect called the mosquito which feeds on human blood and in the process transmits the malaria parasite to the unfortunate victim. We all know that mosquitoes are endemic in tropical regions, and Nigeria, especially the coastal regions of the country, are wham bam slam in such regions. However, what many of us do not seem to understand is that we breed them.

A drive through Lagos is an eye opener to the fact that despite the efforts of the Lagos State Waste Management Authority, the environment here is frankly quite unhealthy. Our environment is not cleaned properly, and we have all sorts of pollutants given free rein, a very good example would be the jalopies that belch exhaust fumes along our roads.

Nigeria has on paper at least, an excellent health code. But as is the case with the cigarette companies, our health code is not enforced. In September of last year, the National Agency for Food Administration and Control (NAFDAC) had to go on record in warning cocoa farmers against the use of banned pesticides on their crops. This followed a study by the Cocoa Research Institute of Nigeria (CRIN) had listed 24 banned agrochemicals that were still being used in cocoa farms in Nigeria. According to a recent publication by CRIN, all chemicals with endosulfan as their active ingredient are banned for use on all agriculture undertakings. Up until today, there has been no follow up to that warning, and no farmer has been charged or fined.

Two thousand years ago, the Romans realised that there was a correlation between the number of mosquitoes that they had in their region, and the marshy areas, or areas that had a lot of still waters. So accordingly, they tried as much as they could to drain such places, and generally keep their environment healthy. Why can we not, in the 21st century, do the same?

Critical mass

2011-02-12T14:02:00.002Z

Now that the Mubarak regime has wound down, the question on a lot of lips is about the role of the Egyptian Army in the crisis, and how their action (or inaction) helped in toppling Uncle Hosni. People have asked what the Nigerian Army would do given the same situation.

There are many people who swear that the Nigerian Army would have no problems in shooting the protesters. I beg to differ, and my confidence is borne out of what I saw in the eyes of the armed men who stood in the way of the Enough is Enough protest of March 16, 2010. These people hesitated. I can guarantee that if Nigerian officers were as bloodthirsty as people try to make out on a lot of occasions, Audu Maikori would definitely be pushing up daisies by now.

Then there is the scenario that is playing out in Algeria as I type. The government has already ordered a heavy-handed crackdown on the protests that are beginning to play out, and the police are doing their bidding.

The question then becomes, "what is the difference between Egypt and Tunisia on the one hand", and Algeria, then possibly Nigeria on the other?

The difference is timing, and eventually, critical mass. It took the government of Ben Ali seven days, from December 17 when Mohammed Bouazizi immolated himself to begin a crackdown. By that time, the protests had attained critical mass. In Egypt, it took Mubarak's government six days from January 25 before the military was mobilized. Again, as in Tunisia, the protests had attained critical mass.

By critical mass, we are talking of the number of people who had gotten involved so as to make military intervention meaningless. You see, what we have to realise is that the soldiers come from amongst us. When there are a few protesters, the possibility that the soldiers would hurt their own people is limited. When the number of protesters has reached a certain mass (half a million and above), the possibility goes up exponentially that if soldiers are deployed to quell such a protest, they will end up hurting their mothers, their fathers, their sisters or their brothers. Faced with such a scenario, the average soldier will not shoot.

The challenge for Nigeria now is how to attain that critical mass that would render our own revolution, when it happens, effective. Let us make no mistakes, the Nigerian revolution has to happen. It has to happen soon. However, it is not about crying for democracy, we already have that no matter how flawed. It should be about putting our differences which our political elite have played on for so long behind us and forging a genuinely Nigerian identity.

There is one more challenge. How do we attain critical mass in 48 hours or less. Make no mistakes about this, as the government of Algeria is showing, no other government is going to allow a popular revolt attain critical mass before deploying its armed forces to quell it. That for us, is the biggest lesson from Egypt.

We are in trouble!

2011-02-05T13:00:00.002Z

What colour is this? I can swear that it's black.

So this morning I had a visitor. He was meant to collect a computer from me, and having never been to my place, I sent him a text with my address. For some reason he totally missed my description. I described it to him on phone, sent him a text with the description. Somehow, I still had to go and meet him on foot in front of the nearest Redeemed Church.

To make my job of meeting him easier, I asked for a description of his car, and he told me a blue Honda Accord. On getting there, I saw this...

What is scary about this?

The fellow in question is meant to be one of the bright sparks in the Nigerian police force, just freshly returned from a training programme in the United States. Yet he could not understand the following description: "from the Estate gate, take the first turn to your right, drive until you get to another right turn, that is x Street, do not enter that, but take the next right turn, which is y Street. Upon entering y Street, the first left turn is z Street. My close, a Close is just when you enter y Street. My house is number b."

To make matters worse, all of these streets, and the close are clearly signposted!

If a policeman cannot get this description, and then cannot tell me the proper colour of his car, then what hope do we have of being adequately protected?

School pass school

2011-01-30T09:53:00.002Z

Just saw these pictures on Cybereagles...

A Pakistani school bus

A Japanese school Bus

NIGERIA NEEDS YOU: Find your polling unit

2011-01-15T04:05:00.004Z

Good morning friend,

One thing we must bear in mind is this: elections are easier to rig when people do not turn up to vote. 2011 is a pivotal year for our country. Those of us who are within the age range must vote. Before you can vote, you must register. After you register, you must select who you wish to vote for. On election day, you must vote. Afterwards, please stay and make sure that your vote counts.

The registration process begins today, and is on for the next two weeks. During the registration process you do not need to take your identification card. INEC is capturing biometric data for this purpose, and they will issue you a temporary voter's card which would be valid on election day.

If you do not know where the nearest registration centre to you is, please consult the map which can be accessed from the link below:

http://bit.ly/eXoGWM

Simply click on the map, zoom to your city of residence (you do not have to travel to be registered), then find the nearest poll registration centre to your house. There won't be more than 500 people per polling booth, and there are people who are committed to ensuring that the elections are properly monitored. However, their work will come to waste if you do not do your bit. Their work will come to waste if you show apathy. Evil wins when good people do nothing.

Please my friend, between today and the end of January, please make out just two hours of your time, go to the registration centre nearest to your home, register, and on election day, make sure you go back there and vote.

Please pass this message on to as many people as you can.

Thank you.

Chxta | He-of-the-springy-steps

Cultural adaptations

2011-01-08T21:46:00.002Z

“Dem give us dem culture, we no understand.” ---Fela Anikulapo-Kuti from Why Black Man dey suffer.

So the re-run elections in Delta state have come and gone, and while a result was declared it has been the same old story of snatched ballot boxes, voter intimidation and massive disenfranchisement of the electorate in whole communities.

However, what struck me the most was a statement by an election monitor who covered the elections in the Delta North area. He said, “the elections in these areas were largely peaceful and without incident. Voter turn out was low as a result of apathy, lack of adequate awareness and voter register issues. This was a classroom for INEC and other election stakeholders and there were many lessons to learn.”

The point I would love to pick on the most is voter apathy.

The biggest problem with voters in Nigeria is that apathy, and it is one of the things that is killing us with regards our electoral issues. Nigerians have time and again failed to constitute themselves into that critical mass that is required to make all efforts at electoral lawlessness to come to nought. We are too apathetic to our plight. The reasons for this apathy are many, chief amongst these the belief, mistaken or not, that our votes do not count.

To a large extent, this belief is true. Our votes have largely not counted in Nigeria, and part of the reason is cultural. Most people in our country, like it or not do not believe in representative democracy of the American or British models. And it shows. The average person on the street has no clue with regards the fact that it is his constitutional right to walk into the office of his representative in Abuja and demand a meeting. But then how would he, when our so-called representatives are so high and mighty, and frankly intimidate the poor masses with their wealth. In any event, Abuja is too far. Would one of those people who were disenfranchised in Obiaruku on Thursday, 6 January have the guts to walk into the Delta State legislative chambers and demand a meeting with the Ndokwa representative?

This is where the cultural disconnect comes in.

Traditionally, all Nigerian cultures have always had some form of representation in the council of elders (ndi ichie in Igboland) whom they could easily approach when they have problems. Our attempt to import the American model of democracy wholesale has removed this link, and people do not know who to turn to when they have problems, so in their confusion, they attempt to solve problems for themselves. This is why there is so much anarchy in Nigeria today. There is so much anarchy because almost every individual in Nigeria, within the limits of his abilities and resources, has become a government, and as a result, a law unto himself.

Consider this scenario, I live in Surulere, and I am responsible for my own power. My neighbours and I make a monthly contribution in order to secure our gated street. I have a water pump in my compound, and if it goes bad, we contribute money to fix it. Recently, some egghead has come up with the idea of making a contribution to buy cement and bricks to patch the failed portions of our street. All these responsibilities we are taking on, are in theory the responsibility of the Surulere Local Government chairman just down the road. However, he would most probably claim that he is yet to receive his monthly allocation, and since we are not the thugs that put him in office in any event, he really does not feel responsible to us. This attitude percolates upwards, and rumours reaching me indicate that the man no longer even lives in Surulere, but now has choice property in Lekki. How true that is, I do not know.

What I know for certain, is that this example I just pointed out shows us the real failure of government in Nigeria, it is at the local level. The truth is this, I do not have my mechanic on speed dial because of Fashola in Alausa or Jonathan in Aso Rock. I have my mechanic on speed dial because the man whom I can see is not doing his job. Unfortunately, this man in most cases has his hand tied by someone above, someone who I really had no hand in (s)electing because most of my fellow countrymen were too cynical to go out and protect their votes.

This is where the dynamics of democracy come into play.

Democracy as is practised in the United States is very different from democracy as is practised in the United Kingdom. France has a President and a Prime Minister. South Africa has three capital cities. Why then should Nigeria copy and paste the American constitution when our own cultural nuances are at variance with American beliefs and ideals? Would a Fifth Amendment (the right to remain silent) work in Nigeria? Would a Second Amendment (the right to bear arms) work here? Do we have a scenario for a Thirteenth Amendment type abolition of slavery? Is every human being born on Nigerian soil automatically a Nigerian citizen free to hold political office in every part of Nigeria as set out in the American Fourteenth Amendment?

I believe that a more functional system of government in Nigeria would emerge if we go back to the kind of representation that was practised by our ancestors. Now consider this, most people in Nigeria are sadly quite selfish and only concerned about their immediate environment. So, imagine if elections are held only for your own immediate community? Going back to my Surulere example, imagine if the Adelabu Community is allowed to vote for one person from the community to represent us at the Surulere Local Government office. Then from amongst these representatives, a chairman of sorts is picked (from within themselves). Then from these Local Government chairmen, a governor of Lagos is picked, and then from these state governors, a President is picked. Imagine, that to forestall a situation where the representative no longer bears the interest of his community at heart, he would be required to give up his seat immediately, if he is moving out of the community. I think that in such a scenario, since the representative is known to everyone, and is within easy reach of everyone, he would sit up. Especially since he can quite easily be kicked out for non-performance when his tenure ends. Maybe, just maybe, that is the answer to our apathy. Maybe, just maybe, that is the Nigerian form of democracy.

Chxta's Wall: 2010 Honours List

2010-12-31T05:20:00.003Z

Today is the last day of the year 2010. For me, this year was one that began with promises, went on to lows, but is ending on a high. In this year, I left a job that I loved in order to stand on my own, and as things are panning out, it may not have been a bad decision, the year ahead will tell me better, but eventually, only time can tell. The coming year, 2011 is going to be a pivotal year for me, my country and all who inhabit it. I really hope things turn out well, you see, much as I am not very optimistic that the General Elections would pass us by peacefully and orderly, I must acknowledge that I have to do my bit in building this 'ere space I call home.

I'd like to extend my appreciation to the following people who helped make 2010 tick for me. I hope I haven't left anyone out of this list, if I have, no vex. I don dey old, so brain no too dey retain like that again. Let's see if we can in 2011, reach for the stars...

Abidemi Dairo

Abiodun Martins Adeniran

Abraham Oghobase

Ada Nwanguma

Ada Oriaku

Adams Gbolahan

Adaobi Nwaubani

Adebola Williams

Adegboyega Laniyan

Aderinsola Ajao

Adewolu Adene

Afam Nnaji

Aisha Yolah

Akachi Okoro

Akintayo Abodunrin

Akin Akintayo

Akpan Utande

Alex Yangs

Allwell Okpi

Amaka Okafor

Amaka Okwudiafor

Amaka Uraih

Amara Nwankpa

Ameen Kamaldeen

Amma Ogan

Aniedi Udo-Obong

Andrew Enenmoh

Anthony Smart

Anino Serrano

Anita Wikina

Anne Ariawhorai

Arit Erete

Arit Serki

Asmau Suleiman

Atom Lim

Austin Aghenta

Awwal Abubakar

Awele Ogeah

Ayo Bolaji

Ayo Okulaja

Azubuike Emordi

Azubuike Onianwa

Bade Iriabho

Baffa Saleh

Balkiss Adesokan

Barbara Rednak

Bayo Anjorin

Bayo Olotu

Bayo Omisore

Bayo Oyewole

Ben Egwuatu

Benjamin Ezeamalu

Bhola Durosawo

Bibi Bakare-Yusuf

Bisola Edun

Blaze Otokpa

Bola Odepe

Bola Sonola

Boma Graham-Douglas

Boma Harrison

Bruno Ozordi

Buba Magaji

Bubay Omordia

Buki Animashaun

Bunmi Nwanze

Bunmi Sowande

Caroline Duffield

Charles Eboka

Charles Ifinedo

Chichi Opurum

Chichi Uraih

Chiedu Mokogwu

Chiedu Onyido

Chiedu Uraih

Chif Umejei

Chika Ihejimba

Chike Chukwumah

Chikodili Emelumadu

Chima Onwe

Chimezie Okoye

Chinedu Iroche

Chinelo Onwualu

Chineze Chukwumah

Chinwe Obinwanne

Chinwe Mpi

Chioma Chuka

Chiweta Uraih

Chizoba Onuchukwu

Chris Ihidero

Chris Newsom

Christian Edigin

Chude Jideonwo

Chuks Anakudo

Chuks Ochonogor

Chuma Uraih

Chychy Nwanze

Cynthia Mosunmola

Cosanna Preston

Damilola Oyedele

Damola Owoseye

Daniel Momoh

Daniel Osunkoya

Dapo Olorunyomi

Darlo Uyi

David Ajikobi

David Omene

David Sancha

Davou Rwang

Dawn Idiodi

Dayo Adedayo

Debbie Ikenebomeh

Debe Nwanze

Debo Olatunde

Debra Mamorsky

Deji Ishmael

Deji Oguntade

Dele Momodu

Dele Nedd

Dele Olojede

Demola Sadiq

Dennis Ikhile

Deshola Komolafe

Doris Anakudo

Dubem Maka

Ebere Nwankpa

Ebi Bozimo

Ebose Khan

Efe Egborge

Ehidiamen Anao

Ehi Uraih

Ehima Eluem

Ehis Aiwerioghene

Ehis Asibor

Elisha Bala-Gbogbo

Elisha Sulai

Eloho Omofuman

Eloho Om'Iniabohs

Elor Nkereuwem

Emilia Asim-Ita

Emma Nwanze

Emeka Anugom

Emeka Ogboh

Emeka Onyekonwu

Emmy Otakpor

Eseosa Williams

Eyinmisan Nikatsekpe

Fadakemi Akinfaderin

Fatimah Ibrahim

Femi Adebesin-Kuti

Femi Imoru

Ferdinand Adimefe

Fiammari Zoaka

Fidelis Anosike

Fisayo Olanrewaju

Florida Chime

Francesca Uriri

Francis Nwandison

Fred Oghumu

Funke Hassan

Funmi Ajala

Gbenga Olorunpomi

Gbenga Sesan

Gbenro Adeoye

Glory Edozien

Grace Mang

Graham Bae

Habeeb Fashinro

Habiba Balogun

Hadiza Mohammed

Hauwa Mukan

Henry Okelue

Idemudia Abaku

Idris Akinbajo

Ifeanyi Alika

Ifeanyi Okonkwo

Ifeanyi Uraih

Ifedayo Adebayo

Ify Ihekunna

Ihechukwu Ibeji

Ijeoma Amadiobi

Ijeoma Ezeokeke

Ike Chukwumah

Ike Igboanugo

Ikenna Ivenso

Iolanda Muoguilim

Ire Oyegbami

Ireti Bakare-Yusuf

Isiaka Gbodiyan

Isoken Afe

Iwedi Ojinmah

James O'Brien

Jane Okonkwo

Jayne Usen-Auguoye

Jennifer Fairfield

Jeremy Weate

Jide Alaka

John Membu

John Okosun

John Osadebe

Joseph Ewah

Joy Imanyi

Juba Aderemi

Jude Ezue

Jude Okala

June Okafor

Julum Nwanze

Jumoke Aruleba

Kadaria Ahmed

Kaidi Obiakor

Kayode Aruleba

Kayode Babalola

Kayode Ogunbunmi

Kayode Ogundamisi

Kayode Olanipekun

Kayode Soile

Kayode Thomas

Kemdi Alika

Ken Nwanze

Kendall Ananyi

Kirk Anthony

KK Ogu

Kofo Awonuga

Kola Lawal Bakare

Kola Osinowo

Kola Munis

Koribo Harrison

Kris Nwokolo

Kuso Ashiofu

Kuso Elue

Kuso Uraih

Lala Akindoju

Lanre Badmus

Lao Sarunmi

Lawrence Ijezie

Lilyan Kiyyali

Lola Masha

Lola Okusami

Lucky Idedia

Lynda Mordi

Mamoke Gbemudu

Mandy Brown-Ojugbana

Manny Phillips

Matilda Sola

Martin Matsumiak

Mary Ajayi

Mary Odigbo

Mary Uraih

Mayowa Adekoya

Melissa Skorka

Michael Rosenberg

Michaela Moye

Mohammed Ahmed

Mohammed Mustafa

Mohammed Tukur

Molara Wood

Muhammadu Buhari

Muhtar Bakare

Nadeem Bhutta

Nasir El-Rufai

Ndidi Ibeachum

Ngozi Iyasele

Ngozi Ugbebor

Ngozi Uraih

Nicholas Ibekwe

Nkechi Ogeah

Nkem Ifejika

Nkem Uraih

Nkiru Nwafor

Nkiru Uraih

Nnamdi Chukwumah

Nnamdi Iroaganachi

Nnamdi Okosieme

Nnaziri Ihejirika

Nneka Chukwumah

Nneka Halim

Noel Anosike

Nomso Eze

Nonso Nwanze

Nsitie Obot

Nuhu Ribadu

Oah Ejakhegbe

Obi Mordi

Obiageli Ayalogu

Obidike Okafor

Obinna Ike

Obinna Nwankwo

Obiorah Okafor

Obla Enenmoh

Ochuko Opute

Odinma Uraih

Ofunne Gwam

Oghale Ariawhorai

Oghale Om'Iniabohs

Ohimai Amaize

Ojiaku Uraih

Oje Pogoson

Oje Uadia

Okechi Emuchay

Okechukwu Nnodim

Olaitan Hamza

Olamide Akanbi

Olisa Chiedozi

Olise Wakwe

Olly Owen

Olu Jacob

Omena Abenabe

Omena Daniels

Omo Ehigebolo

Omolola Sotomi

Omotola Jalade

Onome Ariawhorai

Onyeka Nwelue

Onyinye Muomah

Oria Iyayi

Osa Palmer

Osaigbovo Omorogbe

Osita Nwoye

Oti Samuel

Paul Ategie

Paul Ikenebomeh

Paula Morsemde

Peace Fiberesima

Peter Essien

Peter Ikenebomeh

Peter Nkanga

Phil Fletcher

Piers Sanderson

Prosper Oramalu

Queen Martins

Ralph Okeke

Rami Taibah

Regina Ofoegbu-Okonkwo

Richard Essien

Rimini Makama

Ronke Adebanjo

Rume Auguoye

Ruth Nwaru

Sa'adetu Yahaya

Sade Ladipo

Saidu Garba

Sally Obayiuwana

Sam Eke

Sandra Williams

Schola Ijekeye

Scott Igbene

Segun Balogun

Segun Demuren

Seun Lawal

Seyi Bangudu

Sijuwade Salami

Sim Shagaya

Simon Ejembi

Simon Gusah

Singto Saro-Wiwa

Sokari Harrison

Sola Fagade

Sola Odebunmi

Sola Babarinsa

Sola Oludaiye

Solomon Sydelle

Soluzo Nwanze

Somnazu Nwanze

Stella Anywanwu

Subomi Plumptre

Sylva Ifedigbo

Sylvia Ofili

Taiwo Serki

Taj Onigbanjo

Tayo John

Tayo Kehinde

Terfa Tilley-Gyado

Theresa Odion

Thomas de Douhert

Thomas Lemeire

Thomas Momoh

Timothy Igbinosun

Timothy Obaseki

Tobi Oluwatola

Tochukwu Ezeokafor

Tola Oloruntobi

Tolu Akinbo

Tolu Garuba

Tolu Njoku

Tolu Ogunlesi

Tony Chukwumah

Tony Ejimofor

Tony Omereife

Tony Nwabuzor

Tony Nwalor

Tope Animashaun

Toyosi Oshodi

Tracy Lawal

Tunde Eludini

Ubaka Onyechi

Uche Chibututu

Uche Chuta

Uche Ezenna

Uche Nwagboso

Uche Obieme

Udoka Obi

Uju Okafor

Uju Uraih

Usifo Agenmomen

Uso Uraih

Uwa Obayuwana

Uyoyu Onwah

Uzo Orumilade

Vera Ezimora

Victor Dongo

Victor Ehikhamenor

Victor Nwabueze

Victor Uraih

Victoria Nwanze

Vincent Osara

Voke Egborge

Wale Fatade

Wana Udobang

Will Cunningham

Yemi Ademolekun

Yemi Aliu Salami

Yemi Olus

Yomi Omogbeja

Zainab Mohammed

Zino Asalor

Zino Ofoh

A lack of education

2010-12-24T09:34:00.002Z

After yesterday's Freshly Pressed, someone pointed out to me that the government is doing the exact opposite of what I recommended in an article for NEXT well over a year ago.

While I am not arrogant enough to genuinely believe that I'm the only one with the solutions to Nigeria's myriad of problems, some of these things are simple common sense. You do not sort out a problem of an inadequate educational system by opening more schools. Fix those currently in existence first.

Unfortunately, we don't have people in office that think.

Find below my article from 4 August 2009. Enjoy reading, and merry Christmas.

Where they burn books, ultimately they will burn people.
In 1821 a German writer, Heinrich Heine wrote a play, Almansor where he uttered those famous words. It is quite remarkable that 112 years later, the Nazis burned the original work in a raid on Berlin's Institute of Sex Research. What is even more remarkable is that the people who burned those books in the name of purity in thinking, eventually went on to unleash what is generally acknowledged to be history's greatest show of man's inhumanity to man.
I just watched the video again, of a man dying. It is said that the man in the video was Muhammad Yusuf, and he was executed in cold blood by members of the Nigeria Police Force in Maiduguri, Nigeria as part of their fight against the Boko Haram sect whose actions had for a few days unleashed terror on the populace of five states in the North-East quadrant of Nigeria.
For the records, my feelings about the actions of the men of the police are ambivalent at best. It must be made clear that as far as I am concerned, people like the late Mr. Yusuf (Allah forgive him his sins) are better removed from the mass of humanity for the benefit of all mankind.
However, what must also be made clear here, is that extra-judicial killing is horribly wrong, and the people involved in this must be brought to justice, ranging from the person who pulled the trigger, all the way to the person in Abuja/Maiduguri who gave the order for the execution. Make no mistakes, this writer is dead certain that someone, somewhere, is trying to cover up something messy, and there was the possibility that the late Mr. Yusuf would have squealed, and squealed loud and clear, so he had to be removed from the way.
However, the unfortunate death of Mr. Yusuf is not the focus of this article, too many of the excellent writers for NEXT have written about his demise and the allied events for my views to add much more to the discussion. I can bet that the policemen who were responsible for Mr. Yusuf's murder will not be able to justify under any circumstances what they have done. That is a lack of critical thinking...
The policeman who wielded the gun that killed Mr. Yusuf, and his colleagues who encouraged him are like the majority of the Nigeria Police Force, and sadly the majority of Nigerians born after 1973 (myself included), the victims of an incomplete education.
I can think of a hundred phrases to describe Nigerian education, none of which can appear on a website such as this. It is only a system of education such as that which we practice here in Nigeria that can produce policemen who have absolutely no clue of what their constitutional rights towards felons are. AND IT IS THE FAULT OF SUCCESSIVE GOVERNMENTS.
For too long lip service has been played to the education sector in this country, and we are beginning to, starting from our security services, see the effects of that criminal act. Of course it has spread to our political scene, more than half our 'elected' officials are literate only in the sense that they can put the letters of the English alphabet together to form words, and make sense of those words, but those same people lack the capacity for critical thinking. Ultimately, this lack of proper education will affect all sectors of Nigerian society.
During colonial times, and extending into the First Republic, Nigerian education was of good standard. At the secondary level, the government controlled a handful of government colleges, which were used as the standard that all other schools must meet to remain in business. A lot of the other schools were run by the Christian missionaries, and their standards were at par with the standards of the government colleges.
For example, a child attending Christ the King College, Onitsha or Queen of the Rosary College, also in Onitsha, missed nothing that his or her contemporary who attended Government College, Umuahia gained. Neither did he or she gain anything that the chap in Umuahia missed. Inspectors from the Directorate (later Ministry) of Education went out on a regular basis to access what these private schools were doing, and if standards were found to be slipping, the school was given a warning, then shut down if the slide continued.
The Nigerian state also funded as at 1970, six universities at Ibadan, Zaria, Nsukka, Lagos, Ile-Ife and Benin. The standard of these institutions of higher learning were at the time comparable with anything to be found anywhere, and the Nigerian graduate who decided to proceed for more research abroad after his Bachelor's degree did so on an equal footing with his peers from other parts of the world, and did so simply because the best supervisors for graduate research (as a result of a longer period of academic tradition) were in the great learning centres of Europe and America.
Somewhere along the line the standard fell, and as things now stand, primary and secondary education in Nigeria are in a mess. The standards of our universities is such that to get a more rounded educational experience, the average Nigerian student needs to go for a Masters degree in the West in what has essentially become a finishing school system.
Why did standards fall so?
Government intervention is solely to blame in this writer's view. At some point in the 1970s, an 'indigenisation' decree was introduced, and all private schools in the country (which were mainly mission schools) were seized from the missionaries. Then a rash of universities were established. The government had abdicated its role as standards regulator, and had become an active player in the sector.
With the way all things Nigerian are quite unfortunately run, no consideration was given to the need to properly plan for this rapid expansion, neither was any consideration given to proper citing of institutions of higher learning. Instead they were established in the home-towns of whosoever happened to be in power at the time of establishment (Ekpoma is an example of this), and when such a person was swept away from office, either the institution was abandoned to fend for itself (Ago-Iwoye as an example), or a satellite campus was hurriedly established (Abraka as an example).
Many teachers who at the same time were civil servants, were abandoned just like the rest of the Civil Service, and of course being human, had to do other things to keep body and soul together. This led to drastically plummeting standards as teachers essentially abandoned the classrooms for more lucrative side ventures. Meanwhile, funds that were meant for schools were diverted to the pockets of politicians and soldiers. Buildings collapsed, infrastructure deteriorated, and student numbers multiplied.
At the same time, the Nigerian demand for paper qualification meant that more and more students in their desperation for the jobs that would lead them out of poverty became less and less averse to cheating their way through qualification examinations. A lot of times with the active connivance of their parents, and in many cases with the help of teachers who were simply out to make a buck.
Apparently to one and all, government's direct participation in education has been nothing short of a disaster, and those who can afford it are doing the only logical thing. They are voting with their feet and leaving in large numbers. Despite the recession in the West, flights from Nigeria will be filled to capacity next month with another batch of students going to begin finishing school (sorry Masters degrees). Some will come back home after a year, most will stay for longer, and Nigeria will be the poorer for it.
What is the way forward then?
The first thing that should happen is that the government should pull out almost completely from running education in Nigeria. We can ill-afford several under-funded and improperly run institutions all over the place. We must return to the model of having a few well funded, institutions which act as a standard for others to follow. Autonomy has to be the watch word, especially in the research centres.
Personally I would suggest that only the six first generation universities in Nigeria - Ibadan, Zaria, Nsukka, Lagos, Ile-Ife and Benin remain under government control to be massively funded. There is no reason why the Electrical Engineering department at Ife for example cannot be given a grant of a hundred million Naira to use and try and come up with a permanent solution for our power problem. Neither is there any reason why the Legal faculties of Zaria and Benin cannot put heads together to rewrite the Nigerian constitution.
The universities which are turned over from government control should be privatised or closed. Not turned over to the state governments because they would only become glorified secondary schools. Those schools that are successfully privatised should be set against each other and against the remaining federal institutions in rigorous academic competition. Let prospective students vote with their applications.
School fees should be increased as this would also force quality up. The best who cannot afford the fees should be granted scholarships in a competitive and transparent manner so that only the best get places.
Central examinations such as JAMB should be sent to where they belong, the garbage bin. The only central examination worth its salt is the secondary school leaving examination, and that should not be used as an entrance examination for the universities, as that defeats the purpose. Then again, there should be a de-emphasis on university education and an emphasis placed on apprenticeships. Of course there should be proper remuneration for blue collar workers, but that is outside the scope of this piece.
We must not forget the quality of our academics. Frankly, a good number of them are (insert inflective here), and that is fact. Many of them need to go find other jobs where their talents (or lack of) would be put to better use. Unions such as ASUU need to be banned for good. Why should teachers be spending time unionising?

Why are we so tame?

2010-12-21T06:05:00.003Z

A few days ago, the President of my country took the liberty of going to a religious convention where almost a million Nigerians were gathered. In full view of the public and watching cameras, the President was called out to the podium after asking the gathered crowd to pray for him, he knelt down before the leader of the church for prayers. The congregation was impressed, and most with whom I have interacted afterwards are singing high praises of the President and his 'humility'.

Remember the outcry that greeted Barack Obama when he bowed to the Emperor of Japan?

What my countrymen have failed to realise are two things: the current occupier of the office has actually devalued the office of President, Federal Republic of Nigeria (again refer to Obama's experience), and he has just pulled of a cynical political stunt which had achieved its aim of hoodwinking people into believing that he is a very pious man (remember that Obasanjo when he was looking for votes went to this same place). At the same time, the President has pushed out of the window, the lesson that can be learned from Matthew 6:5 which for the records states, “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full."

The meaning of that verse is as unambiguous as the statement, "the sky is blue".

As if to prove me right in saying that his actions at the Redeemed Camp last Friday were a cynical political stunt, Goodluck Jonathan and his convoy of bumbling idiots last night caused what can only be described as traffic hell. They closed down the 3rd Mainland Bridge. All because a book of the President's Facebook quotes was being launched.

The President's Facebook quotes!

I don't want to go into the argument about the value of a compilation of Facebook quotes, but I must ask what they will add to the body of knowledge, and why the launch of such a book should attract such a humongous event?

For the records, 3rd Mainland Bridge at 12km is the longest bridge on the continent. Because of the number of areas in Lagos that can be accessed through that bridge, it services over a million people each day. The traffic on that bridge has actually gone up slightly since the road-works at the Orile axis began. Driving at a constant 100km/h on that bridge will take you across it in 12 minutes. Now imagine the hell that people went through yesterday simply because of a political gimmick?

My anger however is not directed at Goodluck Jonathan. In my view, this event shows that he is absolutely no different from the politicians around him, and the vast majority of those who came before him. My anger is directed at Nigerians.

Why are we so tame?

When I complained about this incident on the internet, a friend of mine admonished me that since he is President it is his right to close down traffic. That did I not grow up in Nigeria? Which leader has not done this before? Good question. My reply to that friend would be, the fact that previous Nigerian leaders (most of them military dictators) did it, does not make it right. Why do we as a people have this really annoying tendency of defending what is wrong simply because other people are doing it or have done it before?

Being that this friend of mine lived in the UK for some years, I would point him to the outcry that followed Tony Blair. When returning from a trip to the US in 2006, Mr. Blair's driver decided to avoid traffic by driving on a bus lane! People screamed, Mr. Blair paid the fine and it did not happen again. That my people is a leader who (at least on the surface), panders to the wishes of the electorate who voted him in.

Again, why are we so tame?

Obituary

2010-12-15T10:58:00.002Z

Anthony Enahoro died this morning.

Born in 1923 in Uromi, present day Edo state, he was the eldest of twelve children. He was edicated at Government College, Uromi, Government School, Owo, and King's College, Lagos and by age 21 had become Nigeria's youngest editor when he joined the Southern Nigerian Defender, Nnamdi Azikiwe's paper which was based in Ibadan. He was to follow Azikiwe to the Comet and then the West African Pilot before becoming Editor-in-Chief at the Morning Star between 1950 and 1953.

He joined the Action Group, and was in the Federal House of Representatives by 1951. It was there that arguably his most famous moment occured when in 1953 he moved the motion for Nigeria's independence. Although the motion did not carry at the time, Nigeria got independence seven years later, and Enahoro remained in the House of Representatives as an opposition member until 1962.

During the Western region crisis of '62, Enahoro was accused of treason. He escaped to the UK in 1963, but was extradited and faced trial along with Obafemi Awolowo. He was sentenced to 10 years. However, after the coup of 1966, he was released, and served as Minister for Information and Labour in Yakubu Gowon's regime from 1967 to 1974. During the Second Republic (1979 - '83) he was a member of the National Party of Nigeria.

Enahoro was the chairman of the National Democratic Coalition (NADECO) during the Abacha years. His public visibility had dwindled in recent years due to failing health. He leaves behind a wife Helen and five children.

Dear Shell staff

2010-12-08T22:10:00.000Z

How do you feel working for a company that is quite deliberately undermining our (stupid) government?

I'm not asking any of you to leave Shell, because, quite frankly, the reality is that the Nigerian situation is such a harsh one, and as I have learned the hard way, Nigerian employers do not take staff welfare seriously. However, and this applies to all of you who work in multi-nationals, you owe it as a duty to your children (if not yourselves), to take a cold, hard look at the damage you might inadvertently be doing to their futures in the course of your official assignments.

You see, we must understand that the world is a constant battle. That is something that the Asians appear to have understood, hence the Japanese maxim, "business is war".

Multi-nationals are not in our country to make a better life for our people, they are in our country to make a profit, and people like y'all are 'collateral damage' because they cannot make that profit without the aid of some of the locals, you. What your duty is now, is to make sure that in the course of you do not spoil things for all of us, yourselves included, because the day things go belly-up, they will pack up and leave, while you will remain here to suffer the consequences with the rest of us.

I can give a good example: one of the biggest multi-nationals in Nigeria would be the company Schlumberger. Guess what? All of their 'property' in the country are rented. If push comes to shove, they will be off in a minute, and it would be like they were never here.

Speaking of Shell, I was privileged to work in an office just down the road from their global headquarters at Waterloo. I used to pass in front of it every morning. Never once, did a soldier ask me, sorry, bark at me, to keep moving. Same as their offices at Aberdeen. But try standing in front of their offices in Port Harcourt and see the difference. Mobil's Aberdeen office is so nondescript that I still cannot believe that is where I was.

The question is why the double standards?

It is easy to say that we brought this on ourselves given the rather daft 'militancy' that is happening among other things, but the militancy did not begin until 2000. Oloibiri was sunk in 1956. I was there earlier this year, and for the first time since I began to read about the oil matter, I was almost moved to tears. That is what has happened to us. The treatment is different...

Wasting our youth

2010-12-01T20:19:00.001Z

In the last month I have moved from being a full-time employee in a media organisation to being an independent IT consultant. Last week I was in Abuja to meet with a politician looking for help to improve his web presence for his campaign. We had what appeared to be a fruitful discussion until the issue of remuneration came about.

Politician: How old are you?

...My first impulse was to ask him what my age had to do with the price of fish, but in my almost two years back home, I have discovered that you have to be almost subservient when dealing with an older person...

Chxta: I am thirty.

Politician: You are thirty and you are demanding this much money?

Chxta: With all due respect Sir, the price I am asking for is hardly up-market because you already have a functioning website. I am only going to revamp it for you.
Politician: But that price is too much.

...For the sake of clarity, the man wants his website revamped, then run until the elections are over, which essentially is four months of work...

Chxta: Sir, considering what you want, I think the price of (less than the equivalent of US$3 000) is not only fair, but actually quite cheap. I am only coming in at such a low price because I need to build up my profile before I can actually start charging market rates.

Politician: This boy, you have a lot to learn about life. You are too young to be handling that kind of money.

It was at that point that I shut down my tablet, and walked away.

There is no gainsaying that Nigerian employers almost as a rule do not pay staff well. While I was in Abuja, the announcement came that the Federal Government had approved N18,000 as the monthly minimum wage and people celebrated.

Now consider this: NGN18,000 at the current exchange rate is US$120. Take someone in Lagos who is earning that figure, and consider just his NEEDS, forget about his WANTS. Assuming the cheapest possible combo at the nearest Mama Put, he would spend nothing less than NGN100 per meal. Which translates to NGN300 a day for feeding alone, which in turn translates to NGN9,000 a month.

Let us assume that this NGN18,000 earner has decided to cut his coat according to his size, and accordingly is renting just a room in Ijesha. The going rates for such conveniences are NGN6,000 per month. That already totals to NGN15,000. We have not included the cost of transportation, and the cost of maintaining a partner (or casual sex if he does not have a partner). Then some of these people probably have children.

Also note that we assumed that his NGN18,000 earning was tax independent, which it is not!

Just feeding and shelter alone have cost the man 83% of his income. Leaving him savings of NGN3,000 (US$20) for an entire month to do other things. Then God-forbid, he falls sick...

The second thing that came out of this meeting of mine with the politician is our attitude towards young people. This man genuinely believed that because I have spent only three decades on this planet, that I should not handle a certain amount of money. I can almost bet that he would give his kids, who are no doubt younger than I am, much more without blinking if they wanted to throw a party.

The point however, is that as a country we waste our youth, and this waste starts from the day they finish secondary school. Up until that point, Nigeria generally follows the world's pattern of rounding off secondary education at the 16-18-age range. Then we insist that our children all go to the university. Rain check here, university education is not meant for everyone. What happens, is that the majority of Nigerian youths spend on the average two years waiting to get into the university, and that translates to two years of active life wasted.

So our youth gets into the university at age 20, for a four-year course, expecting to graduate at age 24.

Then the Academic Staff (ASUU) and the Federal Government have another altercation, and our friend has to spend a combined total of eighteen months at home. This raises his graduation age to 26. Finally he finishes his university education, and has to sit at home for anything from six months to one year before he goes to start jumping through ropes at the NYSC camp. This takes away one year of his life. He is finally done with NYSC at the ripe old age of 28!

This is the true average age of the unemployed graduate roaming our streets. Now consider the case in other, more advanced countries.

A child finishes secondary school at 18. In some countries he immediately goes for military service, in others he goes off to the university or starts working. His undergraduate studies last for three years, and by age 21 he is ready to be absorbed into the labour force: seven full years before his Nigerian counterpart.

Is there really more to add to this but the question: do you really need a university degree to work in an MTN Call Centre?

What must be done

2010-11-29T19:34:00.002Z

So the CBN governor Sanusi has let the cat out of the bag with regards the worst kept secret in Nigeria. Our hedonistic legislators are sucking the juices out of our country and doing it with an alarming disdain for the opinions of those of us who (on paper at least) voted them in.

Being that they know that we don't like them, they are also making moves to make sure that they remain in office by hook, crook or brook. From what I hear, a lot of Nigerians attended today's public hearing in Abuja to let them know that the proposed amendment to Section 87 of the 2010 Electoral Act does not fly.

However, that is not enough. WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT WE GO OUT THERE COME APRIL 2, 2011 AND VOTE THESE LEECHES OUT.

Riddle me this: how for fuck's sake can only 469 individuals be responsible for 25% of the expenses of a country of 150 millions?

The tipping point

2010-11-24T17:31:00.002Z

Is there much to say on this?

Yes there is, and it cannot be nearly enough.

The rogues that populate our National Assembly, knowing fully well that they will not win a free and fair election in their individual homes are looking to perpetuate themselves in office through the back door.

The obnoxious clause that they want to put in the Electoral Act will make each Representative and Senator a member of the individual's party's National Executive Committee, essentially giving each person the power to do and undo within his party. Is there a need to expatiate on what this means?

The question becomes directed to us the people of Nigeria. Where is the tipping point? At what point will we stop making noise and actually take action, sustained action?

I am exhausted.

Letter to Paul Adefarasin

2010-11-16T21:33:00.001Z

“Do not vote for a Muslim President...there are about 100million Christians in Nigeria who must determine who becomes the President of their country...Muslims have ruled the country for long...Nigerians used to be the most educated people in the world until the likes of Abacha and Murtala Muhammed scattered our educational system to slow down the South so that the North can catch up, instead of speeding up the North.”

The above statement was credited to the senior pastor of the House on the Rock church, Paul Adefarasin. It is said that he made that statement last Sunday, 14 November. I have my doubts about the veracity of that statement, but if true, Mr. Adefarasin has unleashed a very dangerous demon into the Nigerian political space.

The truth though is that religion has always been used by the Nigerian elite, especially those in the northern part of the country as a means of achieving their ends, and not bettering the lives of their people. But in a situation were this country is trying very hard to turn round the corner, listening to a respected pastor such as Adefarasin who has a large following utter such rubbish is not only alarming, it is deeply disappointing.

Let's look at what he has said point by point.

1 – Do not vote for a Muslim President.

I wonder where the religion of a man ever determined his ability to govern. One of the most progressive leaders in the entire twentieth century was a fellow called Mustafa Kemal, the founder of modern day Turkey. He was a Muslim, but early on he recognised the need for the separation of religion and state. Conversely, some of the most repressive rulers to straddle the same century, and in my mind I have a certain Stalin, actually had religious training in a Christian seminary!

2 – 100million Christians

Where did we get 100million Christians from? If memory serves me correct, Nigeria has about 150 million people, almost evenly split between Christians and Muslims in the vast majority, then a small percentage who practice traditional religions. If one wants to be pedantic, then the census figures actually indicate that our Muslim population is closer to 50% while the Christian population is closer to 40% of the total. That would mean that we have more like 60million Christians in the country. Where did Mr. Adefarasin get the remaining 40millions from?

3 – Muslims have ruled the country for long

I can't argue with that one, it is true.

4 – Nigerians used to be the most educated people in the world

Err, rain check here sir. Nigerians have NEVER been the most educated people in the world, and the way things are going now, will never be. The statistics are there for the entire planet to see. At the time the colonial rulers left us in 1960, Nigeria had a single digit literacy rate. Today it is at the 68% mark. How in the name of all that is good and holy did we then become the most educated people in the world? That is ignorance speaking, and the most dangerous kind of ignorance, the kind that people listen to, and act on. For the sake of clarity, Nigeria's educational growth actually began to get retarded under the leadership of Yakubu Gowon, a Christian. Afterall, it was his regime that in 1974 authorised the take over of all missionary schools by the government, and that was when standards began to plummet.

You see dear Pastor Paul, a man in your position should not be misleading the gullible and dimwitted with statements that distort historical facts. A man in your position should tell people the right thing to do. The right thing to do in Nigeria's special case is for all of us to take a critical look at the people who have offered themselves up for election, decide which one of them is the least bad one (yes, they are almost all bad), vote for that least bad person, then make sure that our votes count. The mantra dear Paul should be Register-Select-Vote-Protect, not Muslim-No-Christian-Yes. What I am saying to you in a nutshell, dear Paul is very simple. It doesn't matter what version of God a man worships and what he chooses to call the Most High, be it Allah, Bog or Chukwu. What matters is the man himself, and what he is capable of achieving.

The honest truth is this, given the antecedents of Christians such as Orji Uzor Kalu, Gbenga Daniel, Lucky Igbinedion and Peter Odili, I would rather vote for Diokpa Kene Chukwurah in my village who up until this day worships Amadioha as our forefathers did. At least I know for a fact that he is an honest man.

Okada and waste

2010-11-05T07:03:00.001Z

Imagine having to move from point A to B, and all you get around you are flies buzzing at you and dogging your every movement. Very annoying oi? Well, that is the feeling that I get every time I get into my car and have to face the numerous motorcycle-taxis (okada) that afflict this city of Lagos. What makes it more pronounced for me is that whenever I go to other places such as Abuja, Owerri, Accra, and more recently, Port Harcourt, and I see the lack of okada in those places, and the stunning difference their absence makes, I wonder why this city I call home is so afflicted.

Another problem of the okada is the sheer risk that accompanies the act of getting on one and taking a ride in traffic. You see, the unfortunate reality is that the vast majority of okada riders in Lagos have absolutely no concept of safety as a term, let alone traffic rules. Many of these guys are also stark illiterates, so they are more likely to take risks that are injurious to the healths of them and their passengers. This is compounded by the fact that the average Lagos driver is a very impatient animal, and is thus very likely to get into a mechanical altercation with an okada. In such conversations, the okada is always the loser, and sometimes, in a big way!

Yet, I use okada almost everyday. This makes me a hypocrite.

I am not happy that I have to do that, but given my sometimes very busy schedule, I find that I almost always do not have a choice, if I must make up all the appointments that exist on my scheduler. You see, Lagos has a poor road network, and to compound that, the city has poor road infrastructure with most roads pock-marked by pot holes in benign cases, to outright gullies in routine cases. The Abeokuta Expressway is a very good example of a road full of gullies, and this is a major road that extends from Oshodi, through Ikeja, through Egbeda, through Iyana-Ipaja, through Agege to the boundary with Ogun State! Imagine the number of people who live along that axis, then imagine the amount of time wasted in traffic there.

What our leaders never seem to do is to put an economic cost to some of these things, and I think that it is important for that to be put so we can see how the daily traffic grind in this city affects our lives. The average Lagosian worker spends 3 to 6 hours each day in traffic depending on where he lives. That comes to limits of 12.5% to a full 25% of his time in traffic. In economic terms, and assuming a state GDP of N3.86 trillion (2008 figures), it simply means that somewhere in the region of N482.5 billion to N965 billion a year is wasted in traffic! I agree that the Naira is not the most valuable currency, so at the current rate (US$1 = N150), let us see how much Lagos loses to traffic each year: somewhere in the region of US$3.22 to US$6.43 billion a year!

Then we wonder why despite the restrictions on okada in Lagos, they appear to be making a come-back?

By the way, how much would it cost in US$ terms to get a proper light-rail service up and running in this city in one year? How much would it cost to kick-start the ferry services since Lagos is situated on a lot of water bodies?

I'll attempt to answer that for light-rail: at the moment, the cost of Light-rail is in the region of US$35 million per mile. Using Oshodi as a central hub (think London Victoria), the distance between Oshodi and Agege is 4.63 miles, the distance between Oshodi and Badagry is 33.42 miles, the distance between Oshodi and Obalende is 8.98 miles, the distance between Oshodi and Ikorodu is 10.76 miles. Laying tracks between each of these points would pretty much cover the whole of Lagos (except for the Lekki peninsula). 4.63+33.42+8.98+10.76=57.79 miles of track. Multiply that by US$35 million, and we get a figure of US$2.02 billion. Which is less than what we waste in traffic each year, lower or upper limit!

When are we going to wake up?

On the economy...

2010-10-29T16:01:00.000+01:00

Forget about 2011 for a minute, another major source of concern about the country is the economy. Given that yesterday the credit ratings company Fitch revised our ratings downwards, we really have to sit up and take notice rather than the typical armchair reaction of claiming that it is all Western propaganda.

Is the Nigerian economy improving?

It did improve between 2003 and 2007, and there was more cash for people to spend. Did we save for a rainy day? Yes, albeit illegally via the Excess Crude Account. Have we put those savings to good use? NO! The money has simply been shared, and those shared funds have found their way into private pockets.

Following the 'Hurricane Sanusi' of last year, our banks which hitherto had been lending only to people who wanted to buy shares, or to people with political connections, simply stopped lending altogether. The banks, which were also the largest employer of labour outside of the government, also stopped hiring, and instead began firing. Our legislators oblivious to the problem (or not giving a hoot), kept increasing their wages and allowances to absurdly ridiculous levels. Our state governments after sharing the money that was left in the Excess Crude Account have now began to go to the bond market in a vain attempt to raise cash for 'infrastructure developments'. We have yet to see the infrastructure promised via the bonds that have already been issued. Companies are still firing people, and actually a lot of them, are falling back on the payments of their wages. That is for those who haven't been forced to take pay cuts. At the moment, the only people who seem to be immune in Nigeria are the people who work in multi-nationals. Let's face it folks, Nigeria is in a recession.

How do we come out of it?

In the West, people have always talked about Keynesian theory as the panacea to their recession. Depending on who you speak with, the recession in the West is not yet over. For some countries (Germany, South Korea as examples) it is over, for others (the UK, France, Greece) it has become a double dip recession, and may well be on the way to becoming a depression. For those of you who may not know, when the Great Depression started in 1929, most economists at the time struggled to come up with an explanation for what was happening. John Keynes came up with an explanation of economic slumps that was quite simple. He said that in a normal economy, there is a high level of employment, and everyone is spending their earnings as usual. This means there is a cyclical flow of money in the economy, i.e, what I spend is what the next man earns and what he spends becomes what I earn.

If however, something happens to shake my confidence in the economy, then I will start saving for the future or more simply put, hoarding the money, which impacts on the other man's earnings. The other man, suddenly faced with a drop in his earnings would also hoard money, and thus starts a vicious cycle of hoarding. According to Keynes, the solution to this was to increase the amount of money in circulation! That was his solution for a recession.

Keynes said that a depression was a recession in which people had fallen into a 'liquidity trap', i.e a situation in which no matter how much more money was pumped into circulation, people would continue to hoard their cash. It is at this point according to Keynes that the government should begin to spend, spend, spend, in an effort to kick start the cash flow again.

Back in 1933, Keynes' theories were eventually applied to the US economy, and by the middle of the 1940s, the US was well on the way to a massive economic boom which ended with them as the world's number one industrial power. In seven short years, under massive Keynesian spending, the U.S. went from the greatest depression it has ever known to the greatest economic boom it has ever known.

In a nutshell, what Keynes meant was that the economy is a cycle fuelled by spending, and the moment that spending fuel stops, the economy would shudder to a halt. What Keynes did not take into account is that money doesn't grow on trees, and there is a limit to which even a government can borrow to spend before the debt becomes unsustainable. Take the example of Greece. When the recession began there, their government like others went into Keynesian programmes in order to jump start the economy. However, fiscal irresponsibility, and the fact that the Greek credit rating is not as good as that of South Korea say, meant that they ran into trouble rather quickly. The lesson from this is that continually throwing money at an economic problem irresponsibly, will not solve it but will only mortgage the future of children just being born.

However, we must bear in mind that cutting spending is what bodies like the IMF recommend to banana republics like Nigeria (think SAP), and we all know that such things don't work. You see, in a country like Nigeria, with a large population, the safest way of raising revenue is from taxes, not from resources. Like I argued a few months ago, the money that Nigeria makes from oil is not nearly enough, EVEN IF we don't invest any kobo of it back into the oil industry. However, to raise money from taxes, you need to have a large working population, and there is a need to tightly regulate the informal economy. To successfully pull off stunts like that, we need responsible people in government, and probably more importantly, responsible citizens. Nigeria's citizens sadly do not appear to know what their responsibilities are with respect to forcing accountability from government, and the government in return does not seem to know what its responsibilities are in terms of wealth creation.

Now consider this scenario, we talk about government tightening its belt because the country does not have as much money as it used to. This means that one or more sectors of the government will have to suffer from cutbacks. Let us take the police as an example. That Nigeria's heavily centralised police force is an aberration is another matter, what matters here is that in a normal society, an effective police force plays a very vital role in keeping confidence in the ability of society to function. An effective police force has to be equipped and armed. Imagine a situation where Anabel Nigeria say, has a contract to provide communications equipment to each policeman in the country. Those handsets would need to work, so Globacom would have to provide a dedicated and efficient network for police communications. Then we have DICON providing the arms and ammunition, and PAN providing the vehicles. This alone along with the associated maintenance contracts would generate a lot of jobs for the Nigerian economy. A lot of jobs would generate a lot of income, and expenditure. This would keep the economy moving. We haven't even talked about the revenue that the government would be able to raise in taxing each of these people. However, by reducing expenditure, you are affecting not just the police, but the companies that rely on an efficient police force to remain in business. By taking the money to Switzerland, you are doing worse because the Swiss government would use that same money to do what you ought to have done in the first place. By sitting by the sidelines while our government officials either cut down or ferry the money out, we are encouraging them to do worse in the future.

This anecdote about police spending and how it affects other sectors cuts right across the entire spectrum of the economy. From infrastructure (on which bricks, masonry, carpentry, iron-bending, steel works, and a whole lot of others), to hospitals (teaching, agriculture, vehicles, communication, and a whole lot of others), to schools!

In any event, the most important point that has to be taken from this treatise is that the citizens of Nigeria are meant to be the ultimate gate-keepers of our economy. If we fail in our duty of making sure that our duly (s)elected representatives fail in their duty of properly steering the economy, the results of that failure would be seen in what we see daily right now, high rate of unemployment, massive deficit in the system, politicians mortgaging the future of our children.

Animal farm

2010-10-25T15:51:00.003+01:00

"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey." ---Benjamin from animal farm.

Nigeria is not going to change for the better anytime soon. And the reason stares at you each time you look into the mirror. It stares at me as well. The average Nigerian is so complacent that the rot will keep getting worse and worse until things simply disintegrate. As things stand in Naija, we are already a very dysfunctional state and things have fallen apart, yet we do nothing!

The attitude of the Nigerian in that of Benjamin in George Orwell's 1945 classic Animal Farm. Benjamin was one of the longest lived animals, had seen a lot, but did nothing to warn the other animals of the pigs' corruption which he realised was steadily unfolding. As a matter of fact, his favourite statement was, "Life will go on as it always has gone on, badly."

That is the attitude of the average Nigerian. Having observed how we behave as a people, I have come to the conclusion that the average Nigerian is not unhappy with the rot around him. Rather he is unhappy with his own position within that rot. Ergo, if he is the top-dog, then the rot is alright because he can then lord it over the serfs that still have to eke a living in that rot.

Not much better exemplifies that attitude than two quick stories I must tell.

The first one happened only two Sundays ago. I had gone to the General Aviation Terminal of the Murtala Mohammed Airport to pick up someone. The flight was delayed (as usual), and having not had anything to eat that day, I went into the only available eatery there, a Mr. Bigg's. I ordered a meal of hot-dog and a drink. I sat down and went through the motions of unwrapping the hot-dog and taking a bite. It tasted strange to me, so I took a look. Inside my hot-dog was a dead insect. Immediately I called the closest waiter and showed him what I saw. The young man actually had the nerve to hiss and walk away, so I promptly lost my temper and walked back to the counter to shout. What shocked me was the reaction of the other patrons of the place. They could not care less. One person actually asked me why I was disturbing them "because of ordinary N300!" I left that place in shock, without getting either a refund or a replacement meal.

Lesson: it is the little N300s that count. If we can't stand up and fight for those small things which add up, then how are we expected to stand up and be counted when our roads begin to develop gashes which later turn into gullies? This is precisely the same thing that happened when NEPA began to first take the power for one day, then one week, now forever!

About a decade ago, a friend of mine became a local councillor somewhere in the former Bendel state. Overnight this young man's life changed. He became a 'big boy'. What surprised those of us onlookers who had grown up around the guy (he is a few years older than I am), was how haughty and arrogant he became. As far as he was concerned, he was the next best thing to God. People who know him still wonder what happened (and for the records, his humility has returned now that he is out of power).

However, a cursory observation of the obeisance paid to people who get into positions with the slightest trapping of power explains to me what happened to this young chap.

In Nigeria, the moment the most stupid and ignorant illiterate wields just a little power, everyone around him begins to tell him how good and smart he is. His wife overnight becomes 'mummy' to all around her. Anyone who so much as mouths (not to talk of voicing) the slightest criticism to him becomes an enemy at that instant, and all the sycophants around our friend will do their utmost to destroy this 'enemy' in the hope of currying some favour real or imagined. Small wonder that our government officials as an example genuinely believe that they can do no wrong, and that they have all the answers to whatever happens despite the fact that their policies are so obviously failing. Small wonder that when their tenures are coming to an end they do every and any thing to retain some vestige of that absolute power that Nigerian society confers on anyone who is fortunate to get into a position of authority within his own domain...

With these twin factors of complacency and obeisance, those of us who think that Nigeria is about to change are dreaming. Probably the best advice I can give to us is to wake up.

Confidence

2010-10-14T17:45:00.000+01:00

TWENTY CEOs of IT companies, each from a different country, board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature pilotless technology: It is a completely unmanned aircraft.

Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that his company's software is running the aircraft's Automatic Pilot System.

ONE by one, nineteen of the CEOs leave the aircraft, each offering a different excuse, some lame and laughable.

Now that is obviously lack of confidence.

The Nigerian CEO alone remains on board the jet, smiling and sipping his tea. Asked why he is so certain his software will run the totally computer-controlled plane, he replies : This plane will never take off !"

...That , my friend, is confidence!!!

Shellacking the opposition

2010-10-07T17:14:00.000+01:00

Many forms of government have been tried and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all wise. Indeed, it has been said by Winston Churchill, that democracy is the worst form of government except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.

Ioseb Jughashvili was NEVER in the Imperial Russian military. As a matter of fact he dodged serving the Tsar's armies during the Great War against the German invader. His role during the Russian Revolution, Russian Civil War, and Polish-Soviet War was as a Bolshevik political commissar, not as a soldier. However, that lack of soldiering did not prevent him as Joseph Stalin from being the cruellest dictator of the twentieth century. In the 1930s, he gradually removed ALL opposition to his rule in what became known at the Great Purge of the Soviet Communist party. And it was at that point that Soviet Russia finally slid into a full blown dictatorship.

You see, the most successful societies of the last two thousand years have been almost without doubt Imperial Rome, Great Britain and the United States. All three of them have had one thing in common, a vibrant opposition. The Roman emperors, far reaching though their powers may have been, had the Senate as a weight to check their excesses. Britain was set on its way to becoming a global superpower after the nobles curtailed King John's power by forcing him to sign the Magna Carta. Some may even argue that Oliver Cromwell's attempts to kill off opposition during his reign, and the subsequent frowning on opposition with the return of the monarchy actually sparked off the migrations, which lead to English domination of what became the United States. We all know about the constant rancour in the US Congress.

The underlying point here is the importance of a vibrant opposition.

Tolu Ogunlesi, a writer at NEXT has received many thinly veiled threats ever since his article appeared on Wednesday criticising the rather silly statements made by our president last Saturday. On my Facebook page, I also criticised those statements, and I have had a lot of vitriol (and Bible verses) flung in my direction. It all reminds me of a statement once credited to the current Osun State governor, Oyinlola, when on receiving new decampees to the PDP he enjoined other people to "stop playing politics of opposition and join the winning party".

There are two points that can be brought out here; Nigerians generally do not know how to take criticism. Nigerians generally do not have ideals. All of this is displayed in our political class.

On the first point, I called for the president to resign on a radio show on Wednesday morning. Before getting to the office, people had already called my boss to ask if that was NEXT's official position on this matter. No it is not. It is MY opinion, and I am entitled to it.

For the sake of clarity, the only printable word I can think of to describe President Jonathan's conduct since the October 1 affair is goof. And 'goof' is the only word I can think of to describe a lot of things that he has done since just about the time he became substantive president. I believe, and strongly too, that the President, Federal Republic of Nigeria ought to be a strong character who knows his left from his right. Sadly the man currently occupying the office is neither, and it has shone through in a lot of his decisions. If he were stronger, a lot of the flux around Abuja would not be happening.

Again, no matter how you cut it, the president is the Commander-in-Chief of our security forces. A failure of our security personnel is a failure of the president, and the buck stops at his desk. If he cannot call them to heel, then he is not fit for the purpose, and he should leave the stage.

What we had on Saturday was one of the most embarrassing incidents ever, where the President publicly exonerated the ONLY group to have claimed responsibility for Friday's atrocity BEFORE the security agencies had settled down to begin investigating anything. That action alone prejudiced the investigation before it started because the security agencies would not want to contradict their boss.

Then the subsequent actions of those agencies do smell of a political witch hunt against the campaign of Ibrahim Babangida. One must wonder at the sudden efficiency of our security agencies in catching people with text messages when Aba is full of kidnappers and has been full of them for going on two years, yet there has not been one prosecution, not to talk of conviction.

The point must be made here that as far as I am concerned, IBB has no business being our president or in government ever again, and if Nigeria were a normal country where there was justice, he probably not be in the position he is now. But as things stand, IBB has NEVER seen the inside of any Nigerian court much less been convicted, so in reality, and according to the Nigerian Constitution he has EVERY right to run for office. It then becomes the duty of Nigerians to go out on election day and vote against him. This attempt to use underhand tactics to get him out of the presidential race is unseemly, and is a method that could be used in future to shackle the opposition.

You see, in any normal environment there are two extreme ends of the political spectrum, the extreme conservative end, which is also known as the far right, and the extreme liberal end also known as the far left. Typically, people on the far right see any form of change as a bad thing and are opposed to it, while people on the far left tend to always want to change things. But then those are stereotypes. In reality, there is no human being who is entirely conservative, neither is there anyone who is entirely liberal. What you have are people who are more conservative than liberal, or more liberal than conservative. With that in mind, it only makes sense that at any point in time, not everyone will agree on the same points and we will have opposition. Opposition IS ESSENTIAL to the survival of democracy.

Unfortunately in our country, what we have is a culture of the big man always being right. Hence someone like Uche Chukwumerije can yo-yo between three or four parties in less than a year and see nothing wrong with it. People who have possibly killed other people on behalf of the PDP in my home state (Edo) have all swung over to the AC simply because the current governor is from that party, and trust me, if he is kicked out in the next elections, all of these people would sashay back to the PDP like it's nothing new, while those who say things as they are suddenly become enemies.

Maybe, just maybe

2010-10-01T10:40:00.004+01:00

Unemptied trash at Adelabu, Surulere, this morning.

Yesterday night, myself and a friend traveled up and down all over Lagos Island and Victoria Island looking for a party that would properly capture the mood in the city going into today's independence anniversary. I find it quite significant, that Race Course, the venue of the handover ceremonies half a century ago was as it normally is. Unkempt.

The only parties that seemed to be happening were in elitist watering-holes around the Island. Nothing from the proletariat to indicate that the day was special. And why should there be? Do they at the moment really have anything to look forward to?

What I found quite interesting is that a few years ago it was relatively easy to galvanize Nigerians into some form of celebrations on October 1. Now, everyone is fatigued.

Maybe our people are finally beginning to vote with their feet. Maybe, just maybe, the rubbish that the elite have been feeding us with for yonks is no longer washing. After the fruitless jaunt, I went home to no light and had a dreamless sleep.

Instant on!

2010-09-14T14:37:00.000+01:00

Imagine a scenario where you want to know the results in the Ugbojiobo area of Edo State. All you would have to do would be to type U-G-B-O and Google would do the rest for you. The psychological effect of not having to type the full thing, hit the ‘ENTER' key, and wait for the results is enormous. Even more important is that in typing those four letters, your search engine would help with suggestions, so you can also see results in Ugbowo, Ugbomwanta, Ugboke, Ugbo Wunagweh, and other such remote places. This means people can modify their search queries on the go if something interesting pops up elsewhere. One can't help but wonder just how far this would go in helping to reduce electoral fraud...

A note of warning, though. To be able to access all of the Google Instant goodies, you have to actually be typing your search query from Google's homepage, not from the seach bar that most browsers come equipped with nowadays. I am not yet clear on whether you can use Instant directly from the address bar in Google's Chrome browser, but that is a moot point as Chrome is not available on mobile devices, yet.

Living in bondage

2010-09-10T10:40:00.001+01:00

Bayelsa, Benue, Ebonyi, Edo, Imo, Kaduna, Kwara, Lagos and Ogun: what do these states all have in common?

They have gone to the capital market to raise bonds ostensibly for various projects.

I admit though, there is indeed a need to tap into the cheap funds, which the bond market supposedly represents, but that is if, and only if, the money would be used for the purposes advertised. But the question has to be asked about securities. What exactly would guarantee those bonds? How do the various state governments intend to pay back the people who buy the bonds?

Most importantly, WHY is it NOW that the state governments are one by one beginning to rush to the bond market?

Read the rest...

Hope springs eternal

2010-09-09T09:48:00.002+01:00

The mark

My 64

The mechanic

Some weeks ago, a danfo bus ran into and broke one of my fog lights. Two days ago I had a flat close to a mechanic's workshop, so I drove in to fix my tyre. I noticed a 406 just like mine parked there that made it the mark. I asked the mechanic how long it had been there, and he said "close to a year", so I offered him money to remove its fog lights and put them in my car. He declined. According to him, the owner of the car left it in his trust and he will return it in exactly the same condition whenever the owner returns for his vehicle. Of course barring any reasonable wear and tear. I felt ashamed of my offer, but at the same time I felt happy that there are still good people in this country. There is hope in unexpected places. After I drove off, it occurred to me that sadly, I didn't even ask for the mechanic's name...

Pass this on

2010-08-27T18:08:00.001+01:00

Feel free to share this on your Facebook wall, blog, website or newsletter. Copy and paste it into emails and blast it out to all your chummy paddies who you’ve been sending all those silly, annoying forwarded messages to.

By January 08, 2011, there will be approximately 35 million Nigerians between the ages of 18-35. We will embody the hopes of another generation, a generation neither touched by the civil war nor old enough to have enjoyed the brief period of prosperity that followed the oil boom.

We will represent a generation that cannot remember any cross country journey we undertook without encountering craters in the middle of the road. A generation that inherited broken down schools, discouraged teachers and a confused education system. A generation, forced to compete in a world they were not adequately prepared for.

We, 35 million of us, are an advance guard for a generation of Nigerians who grew up drinking from boreholes, streams and ponds, who lit their way at night, and in the early mornings with lanterns, candles or torches. To whom luxury meant to sleep in your own bed with the, ironically, comforting noise of a personal generator providing the assurance that your home appliances will be useful, for a little longer.

Our generation has been unfortunate to emerge in a time when the HIV/AIDS pandemic is at its peak. Gripping fatally at the lives of our contemporaries, cutting them down at their prime. To make matters worse, we have the added misfortune of being born in a place where the healthcare and social welfare systems either do not exist or are incapable of protecting us from the fate imposed by this or any other ill of its nature.

We remember the police for bribery, politicians for corruption and the public utilities for ineptitude. We will insist that we have survived so far in spite of, not because of, the contributions of these people or institutions.

For our generation, a great Nigeria is a dream or a collection of stories and doctrines handed down by our fathers, read in textbooks or chorused out in the National Anthem. It has never been our experience. We have experienced no greatness from which we can weave stories to inspire our children or grandchildren. Our memories will be of malnourishment in boarding schools; violence debauchery and strikes in University; robbery, rape and death at home and in our neighborhoods.

We have never voted in an election considered to be free, fair or credible. We have never controlled our fate.

But we can rewrite our own story.

We can respond to our challenges together, like the great Nigerians we so desperately want to be. We can shake off complacency and embrace collective action. We can become the heroes of the great stories we will tell our children.

We are doctors, lawyers, engineers, planners, musicians, actors, models, handymen, builders, cleaners and students. We are the minds that will imagine a new dawn. We are the hands that will make it happen. 35 million of us. We can tell a better story than our fathers told. Our children can inherit a greater Nigeria than we were born into.

Yes we can!

And we must!

For none of our individual brilliance, or industry will amount to anything if the collective wellbeing continues to be at peril. For even if we attain our individual dreams, our marble palaces will be surrounded by slum, and stagnant gutters. Our walls and shadows will be hounded by robbers, and hoodlums who – having been denied existence by society – will seek to prey on our success. For survival is a basic natural instinct, and when it is not guaranteed, it expresses itself in vice.

Our standing in the world will continue to plummet. We will continue to be treated as lepers - the butt of cheap jokes and scathing satire. And we will not have a better story to tell, to balance any of these.

Unless we say Enough is Enough!

So come October, 2010, just as our nation celebrates 50 year of little or nothing after independence, we will come together as the most numerous political force in its history. We will take the opportunity of this unique anniversary to start a quiet revolution that will spin this country on its head.

We will find the nearest INEC registration center, gather our friends, colleagues and family and go Register. Then we will spend the next few weeks (after registration) scrutinizing the field to Select credible candidates who speak to our issues. During the elections in January, we will come out (with our friends, colleagues and family) – in the rain, sun or sandstorm – and Vote for those whom we have selected. Beyond casting our votes, we will stand firm and together to Protect our vote. Ensuring that it counts for whom we have cast it for.

This RSVP will be the start of our quiet revolution.

For when we have shown our numbers at the polls, we can now collectively demand that our issues be addressed. We would have shown that our generation cannot be ignored. We would have started a journey to take back Nigeria from the mischievous minority that has held her hostage.

And if we succeed, we would be the ones who our children will be singing about in the 5th line of the national anthem: “…the labor of our heroes past shall never be in vain”.

So if you agree with me that “yes we can”, you must forward/share this message to 100 more people within the next 24 hrs. (LOL)

If you are interested in leading the RSVP effort in your neighborhood or vicinity, you can register here:

http://www.enoughisenoughnigeria.com/register/

If you want to find out where your INEC registration center might be, check here:

http://www.inecnigeria.org/election/find_polling_station.php (polling stations are used for registration too)

Start expressing your opinion by partaking in this poll: “What attributes would determine your choice of a President?”

http://twtpoll.com/r/z8gsg2

To learn more about the campaign focused on one of the major issues going into the 2011 elections (electricity) visit:

http://www.lightupnigeria.org/

Yours Sincerely

Amara Nwankpa

The devil's alternative

2010-08-18T15:52:00.000+01:00

Regardless of who is running in the elections in the coming months, all Nigerians who are of age have a moral duty to go out there, vote, and make sure that their votes count. There is no other way for us to take the moral high-ground in future and try to hold whoever is our president come May 2011 to account if we refuse to do our own duty in the first place.

However, we are in a dilemma. We lack credible candidates, and the people who have declared their interest in the position actually present us with bad choices. But what other alternatives do we have?

Jega's minefield

2010-08-11T14:31:00.002+01:00

"Soja come, soja go, barracks remain." ---Naija proverb

Given the stakes in the 2011 elections, it is only reasonable to expect that all hands must be on deck to make sure that the elections are a success. However, will the problems of the electoral body just go away by throwing money at it?

The main concern at this stage is the issue of what Prof. Jega has met on the ground at INEC and whether those people would not run around to sabotage whatever good intentions he may have. Already there are fears that the N72 billion which the INEC chairman himself said is needed for the voter's registration exercise is far more than what is actually needed. Indeed there are allegations that the figure was not prepared by Prof. Jega himself, but months before his arrival at INEC, by some bureaucrats whose intentions are definitely not the production of a credible voters' register.

Read the rest of the article at 234NEXT.com

Who is Herbert Macaulay?

2010-08-10T15:48:00.001+01:00

A few years ago, I listened with a bit of disbelief as a friend of mine told me that she had no idea of who Herbert Macaulay was. What was shocking to me then was that she was a first class degree holder from a Nigerian university, and had grown up in my generation. However at that point in time, I did not find her lack of knowledge horrifying.

Move the clock forward a few years, and I'm now older and wiser. Thus it was that I listened in horror this Saturday past when a young lady who just finished from secondary school and is awaiting her school leaving results told me the same thing. As a matter of fact, this young lady has no idea of who the following people are: Alhaji Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa, Mazi Alvan Ikoku, General Murtala Ramat Mohammed, Chief Obafemi Awolowo, Alhaji Sir Ahmadu Bello and Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe. To be fair and honest, she recognises their names from the Naira notes that she wields each day, but that is all. She has no idea of what Biafra really was, but at least knows that Emeka Ojukwu was involved in the Biafra story. What his role was, she had no idea.

In shock, I attempted to guide her mind towards contemporary Nigerian politics, and asked her who her state governor was. She replied, "Nnamdi Ohakim". At least she got the surname right. When pressed about who is predecessor was, her response, "Goodluck Jonathan!"

I did what I considered to be the humane thing and give her a crash course on our nation's history. What I found most frustrating was her almost absolute lack of interest in what I was saying!

What I find again most frustrating is the question of who or what to channel my anger at.

The young lady (whom I must point out is exceedingly respectful) is a stunning example of the rot in our country. And nowhere is this rot exemplified more than in our educational system.

The importance of History as a course can NEVER be understated, and in the opinion of this writer, it should be made compulsory through primary, secondary and at least the first year of tertiary education.

It is knowledge of what our forebears did, especially with an emphasis on what they got right, that could well and truly give us a sense of national pride.

So just who was Herbert Macaulay?

Let down by the story: A review of Ije

2010-08-09T17:11:00.002+01:00

After a marketing blitz, it was with a lot of anticipation that I went to watch the much hyped Ijé, featuring Genevieve Nnaji, Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde and Ulrich Que.

A brief summary of the story can be found in NEXT, but if you want to watch it, maybe you should just wait...

An assessment

The acting in Ijé was excellent. There was not a misplaced delivery in the entire movie, and the emotions were real. There was also no shortage of the occasional pun, which showed the oft seen stupidity of life as a foreigner in Western lands. I found the scene with the Immigrations officer at the beginning to be a classic, something that Nigerians who have been through Schipol Airport, especially, should be quite familiar with. Good directing.

However, the story was way too predictable, and that I found to be the low point of the movie. Unfortunately, that sort of low point is all movie long, and one that I could not quite get over. For example, from the moment that Chioma met Jalen, you could see that they were going to end up in bed. There was no subtlety about that fact at all, and this was a recurring theme throughout Ijé. I frequently found myself predicting what would happen in the next scene with increasing accuracy. Not good at all.

What for me was the most criminal thing that the storytellers did was the dropped themes. There were at least two themes that could have been explored in greater depth in Ijé, and all of them were given only a cursory examination. From the first few scenes, the plot could have developed into a greater examination of the problems that people from third world countries face when they travel to the developed world. The discrimination, deprivations and denials, cue the immigrations officer, the hotel owner, the police and the reporter.

The second theme that dropped was an exploration of rape in Nigeria. For me, this was the most important theme. This movie could have, and should have been a great opportunity to explore the culture of silence in Nigeria that greets incidents such as female exploitation, and the fact that many Nigerian immigrants take such attitudes with them to their new countries, hence Anya's refusal to tell all of her story at the beginning. How many girls in Nigeria have been raped and pretended that nothing happened afterwards because of the stigma that our society attaches to rape victims?

Despite the evidently talented actors on display, Ijé failed to come out of the trap that a lot of Nigerian films fall into, namely: dwelling for too long on certain pointless scenes, and as a result running out of the time required to tell a proper story. After the very excellent ‘The Figurine' from last year, Ijé was a disappointing step backwards.

Ratings

Standout performance: Diana Yekinni, though she had a very minor role in the movie. She played the part of a typical African American who has been processed through the system enough times not to care anymore, with aplomb.

Nollywood cast: Both Nnaji and Jalade-Ekeinde acquitted themselves very well in this movie. They fit their roles to perfection and never put a foot wrong. They are a credit to Nollywood, and I for one would be proud if all our actors can aspire to lofty performances like these. Aki and Paw-Paw take note.

American cast: After ‘Through the Glass' by Stephanie Okereke, I came to the conclusion that Nigerian movies made in America went to acting schools out there and picked the bottom of the class. Ije proved me wrong. The players were all into their roles. For someone who did not do much in the movie, the performance by the silent jailor was good. I just loved the way she would interject, "five minutes".

Naija scenes: Seriously, how stereotypical can you get? This is not to say that there are no beyond-poor people in Nigeria, but must we always do that to ourselves? And given that the girls were supposed to be in their middle 20s to early 30s, you have to wonder when this supposed pogrom took place. Again, I am tired of African villages always being typecast as idyllic to Western eyes. Then there is the permanently recurring violence. Even in the absence of reliable statistics, I would still beat my chest and say that more people are violently murdered in Compton, Los Angeles, than in Mushin, Lagos, each day.

Directing: Chineze Anyaene gives a decent quality movie, especially if you are into going to the movies just for the popcorn.

Story: unfortunately this was a serious letdown. This was way too dull and predictable for me.

Overall: This movie promised so much, but delivered so little. I will not watch it a second time, unlike The Figurine, which I am still looking to download (sorry, buy).

Be very afraid

2010-08-09T09:01:00.001+01:00

Has any of you noticed that the nomadic herdsmen that used to come down south once in a year are now more permanent fixtures? The truth is that their coming down south is the only real option that they have because their traditional rainy season grazing grounds are giving way to desertification.

Unfortunately, there has been a lot of conflict with people that they meet in the south because of competition for scarce resources. Also, the people in the south do not feel a kinship with these herdsmen. You see, while they are from the same country (Nigeria), they do not see themselves as countrymen. The indigene-settler dichotomy that is killing us in this country.

Now, consider that we don't have in place a proper policy to check this problem of desertification. This means that while Katsina and Maiduguri have almost been overtaken by the Sahara desert, in another decade or two, Kano and Kaduna would meet the same fate. This means that more people would move south in the search for resources. This means more conflict. And our population is expanding.

Read more at 234NEXT.com...

#lightupnigeria

2010-08-05T16:34:00.003+01:00

Light Up Nigeria published a series of facts about power in Nigeria this morning. Jeremy compiled them, and I'm piggy backing on his work.

Credit goes to Amara Nwankpa for collating these facts.

*1881: year Electricity was first generated in England. 15 yrs before Nigeria

*1896 The year electricity was first generated in Nigeria. Place was Ijora, in Lagos.

*60KW - Nigeria's generation capacity in 1896. :)

*Kainji Dam: The oldest, still functional power plant in Nigeria, is about 40 years old.

*48% - percentage of Nigerians who have NO source of power, 114 years after we first generated power in Nigeria....

*40%: percentage of the population served by the National grid

*60%: The average percentage of time when the 40% served by the grid don't have power.

*Kainji Dam: What it was designed produce 760MW, What it is producing now: 400MW. Why? Faulty parts

*3: Number of Hydro Plants in Nigeria. 1939: Amount of power in MW, they are supposed to generate. 1000: What they generate

*11: Number of Thermal Plants in NG. 5976: Amount of power in MW, they are supposed to generate. 2589: What they generate

*There are 16 ongoing power generation projects designed to generate 12,500MW for the national grid

*If the projects were completed today, Nigeria would have 20,000MW capacity in generation. BUT....

*BUT... The National transmission grid is only designed to carry 4,800MW. So 75% of that capacity will useless...

*But it also gets WORSE. Some of the electricity generated is "lost" in transmission. (Transmission Loss)

*Transmission losses usually should not exceed 7%. This means that if 100MW is generated, at least 93MW should get to u!

*The Transmission losses on the Nigerian grid is 35%!!!!! So if 100MW is generated only 65MW gets to you!!

*Please find a diagram of the NG transmission system attached. Notice the TX losses?? http://yfrog.com/114n5g

*Transmission losses in Nigeria are the highest in the world. more than 3 times what is normal.

*Even if we generate 2000GW, our grid will only be able to carry 4800 MW and 1,600MW of that will be WASTED

*So why does the Nigerian transmission grid have such a high loss?? Sabotage! Illegal Connections, Poor Equipment

*There were 12 cases of sabotage of the transmission grid in Nigeria in 2008 alone. (TCN)

*N1m. The amount in Naira paid to Ajibode Community as reward 4 assistance in apprehension of two powerline vandals in 08.

*30 years: The average age of the equipment on the National grid. Older than most of you!!

*To illustrate the capacity issues on the National grid consider the following example:

*River State spends $161m to generate 275MW. Capacity of Grid into Rivers 100MW. 175MW: what RSG paid 4 they don't get

*Rivers State is only getting 40% benefit of their own investment because of grid limitations. :)

*Over 90 transmission projects are ongoing, to add an additional 9,000MW to the capacity of the grid

*Even if all 90 transmission projects are completed, There will still be a shortfall of 10,000MW in capacity. God dey.

*But even if we complete all these projects... the biggest question is HOW WILL THEY BE MAINTAINED?

*For more information on the status of power generation projects: http://bit.ly/cs056D Jan 2010, but still current.

*EFCC survey (published 2010), PHCN ranked least performing & least honest, less than political parties or the police!

*According to the same survey, 82% of the businesses surveyed admit they have bribed PHCN for "better treatment"

*If we are bribing PHCN, will they not be corrupt?

*N7/KWh - How much we buy power in Nigeria. N18/KWh - About how much it costs to generate

*N11/KWh - About how much of your electricity bill Govt. pays for you (subsidy). (shrug)

*How much of our PHCN bills do we really pay? Lets do a small check. :)

*950m - how much in naira Consumers in the Diobu Business Unit in PH Rivers State alone owed PHCN as at March 2010

*98bn - Amount in naira owed to PHCN by FGN MDA as at April 2009.

*70bn - Amount owed in debt to PHCN due to unsettled bills as march 2010 - Minister of State for power.

*So if the customers and the govt. are owing PHCN, how do the staff get paid?

*If you are not getting paid or paid well, are you more likely to collect bribes from saboteurs?

*Now lets talk about gas. Gas is the source of fuel for 40% of all power generated in Nigeria.

*Nigeria produces 4.2bcfd of gas every year. 55% of that is flared (burnt up)

*The amount of gas flared in Nigeria creates about 70 million metric tons of CO2 emissions per year. BIG pollution

*Imagine stacking up $2.5bn in $100 notes and burning them up in a huge inferno? That’s what we do when we flare gas!

*The amount of gas we flare can provide electricity for ALL OF Sub-Saharan Africa

*But that is not all. The amount of gas we flare is equivalent to $2.5 BILLION every year!!

*The state of Florida has 55,460MW generating capacity. About 10 times that of Nigeria

*Texas can generate 104,966MW of electricity - beat that with a stick. :D

The minefield of Lagos brothels

2010-07-26T11:04:00.000+01:00

By Chinedu Ozordi.

Forget about the traditional scares of contracting STDs, or getting caught in a police raid, customers of the very many Lagos brothels have a new, and more drastic, danger to think about; getting your privates chewed.

Kanayo Chukwu bit off (pun intended) more than he could chew when he attempted to hire the services of a commercial sex worker, Abosede Johnson, for a bit of fun on July 19, at about 10 pm in People’s Palace Hotel, Ojuolobun, Lagos Island.

The details of what transpired are a bit unclear, and the fact that the matter is before the court leaves little room for wild speculations. One fact is indisputable: Mr Chukwu emerged from the tryst with a bloody and swollen member for the N1, 400 he paid. He has dragged the 24-year-old woman of easy virtue – but harder dentures - to court, accusing her of taking an illegal bite off his penis.

Ms Johnson acknowledges taking the money, but denied the bite, and says it all started with a ruptured condom. She told the court that when she informed Mr Chukwu that the condom he was putting on had ruptured in the course of their love(?)making, he ignored her and “continued with the action.”

“It was when I tried to pull him out of me that my long and sharp finger nails cut into his private part,” she said.

This line of defence annoyed Mr Chukwu who, determined to prove his case beyond reasonable doubt, proceeded to pull down his trousers to reveal a swollen and blood-soaked private part swathed in bandages – to the shocking glee of all those present in the court.

Whether it was the teeth or the “long and sharp nails” that damaged such a fragile piece of his anatomy, one thing is clear; Mr Chukwu won’t be going near a brothel in a long while.

(This piece was first published in NEXTonSunday) .

More maths...

2010-07-23T09:59:00.002+01:00

So Attahiru Jega reckons that the INEC needs N55billion to successfully do the voters register. Well, if you read NEXT, it is 55, if you read Punch it is 72. For the purpose of this write-up, let us work with the smaller sum.

What I find interesting is this: Prof. Jega drew on the example of Bangladesh in making his claims. According to him, and he is quite correct, it took the Bangladeshis eight months to complete their voters' registration. We have four months. He also says that the Bangladeshis completed their registration with 30 000 units of the scanning machine. Then he points out that the machines cost $2000 per unit.

30 000 units at a cost of $2000 each would come to $60,000,000. Multiply that by 150 (converting to Naira), and we get N9,000,000,000. Unless my Maths is incredibly faulty, that is N9billion! Even if we make room for a doubling of the number of machines needed because we have half the time that Bangladesh had, we would still arrive at N18billion. So where does this extra N37billion that would make the lower limit of N55billion come from?

More questions, fewer answers...

After yesterday's shenanigans, are you still prepared to get back to work? Get back to work.

Talking before thinking

2010-07-22T14:30:00.002+01:00

One thing I say a lot is that Nigerian government officials have a sad tendency to pull statistics our of their arses. I just read a story on NEXT about Nigerian soldiers fathering a large number of children in Liberia, and this again to my mind reinforces that view. Sule Bassi, a Nigerian foreign official claims that Nigerian soldiers fathered 250 000 children in Liberia.

Two hundred and fifty thousand!

Now, I will not for one second deny the fact that Nigerians are a promiscuous lot, so it is only natural that our representatives, soldiers, footballers, students, Olympians and of course government officials, go about plunging into the females in whatever host communities/countries that they find themselves in.

However, let us ask certain questions about Mr. Bassi's claim...

The Liberian Civil War began in 1989 when the country's population was just under a million. A year later, the West African regional body, ECOWAS formed the military unit ECOMOG to bring an end to the war. Initially, there was equitable deployment of West African troops, but eventually Nigeria bore the bulk of ECOMOG's man-power and finances. It must be noted though, that ECOMOG peaked at 12 000 troops in 1995.

Liberia as a country currently has a population of just under 4 millions,with a growth rate of 3.66% and a male-female ratio of 0.98 men per woman, almost 1 to 1. If we project backwards, using these statistics, we would find that Liberia's population in 1997 when ECOMOG pulled out was just over a million.

As is the case with most developing countries, almost 50% of Liberia's population is children under 18. Now if in 1997, Liberia had a million people, it is safe to assume that at the worst 40% or 400 000 were children under 18 (current ratio for children under 14 is 43%). Nigerian involvement in Liberia began seven years earlier, which knocks off all of the children between the ages 7 and 18. Just looking at it logically, it would mean that there is no way that children ages 0 - 7 would be as many as 100 000. Yet Mr. Sule Bassi would have us believe that Nigerian soldiers fathered 250 000 children with women in Liberia?

Simple and short, there were not even enough women to go round to fit such numbers. Mr. Bassi should get off his arse and make himself useful. If he can't do that he should kindly shut the hell up.

Rant over. You can get back to work...

Training the trainer

2010-07-21T06:38:00.001+01:00

Inspired by this article...

In 2007, a scandal broke in the world of technology about 11000 laptop computers that were meant to be supplied to Nigerian schools. The original deal was made with software company Mandriva. and their Mandriva Linux distribution was meant to run those computers. Somewhere along the line, the Mandriva CEO at the time alleged that Microsoft through its agent had bribed Nigerian government officials to install Windows on those computers rather than Mandriva Linux.

It turned out however, that the decision to wipe off Mandriva and install Windows was not made by our government, but by the supplier, TSC. TSC officials had decided that they would rather go for a 'tested platform' for the laptops rather than the 'untested' Linux platform. Why TSC committed money to buying computers with Mandriva already installed and then replacing them with Windows at an extra cost is still a mystery. In any event, after all the furore, TSC went ahead with Mandriva, the computers were imported, and distributed.

A few weeks ago, this reporter saw one of those computers in a little village called Ogbia in Bayelsa state. I had gone to train some people there on the use of Ubuntu Linux and one of the boys pulled out a TSC computer that had the entire educational suite installed on it, running Mandriva Linux. I had to give him a quick crash course on its use.

What irked me was what he told me. When the computers were brought back in 2007, the people who brought them just came, dumped them and they have not been seen since. This attitude actually makes TSC's initial decision to dump Mandriva in favour of Windows the correct one, in a manner of speaking. The boys in Ogbia have been exposed to Windows, but not to Linux, and without some form of training, those computers were useless. Gift, the young man in question, has been thirsting to use his gadget for three years, and had no clue until I walked into his classroom in 2010!

This brings into question the use of the computers being brought by the Lagos state government for e-learning. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Linux is a superior platform to Windows in every way, and from the MOST important view point in our environment, cost, there is no better Operating System.

But this superiority has to be properly harnessed. If the computers that Lagos is bringing in have Linux installed, then Lagos has to go the way of the Rantyia Academy in Jos and get people to train the teachers (and first set of students) properly. If Lagos decides to go the way of Windows, then Lagos must be willing to spend what it has to spend to install proper educational software on these computers rather than let them start training future 419ers like the experiment at Ubitech in Benin City.