Monday, January 14, 2013

Bad marriage

For those of you who may not know, the countdown has begun to January 1, 2014, a date that would make it exactly a century since the Brits decided to, for administrative convenience, and tax purposes, marry two large groupings of people with little shared history within and without into one and call them a nation. This "geographical expression" has in the last 99 years had its moments. It must be pointed out that there have been more moments of shame than there have been of pride, but truth is that the "geographical expression" has managed to stay together despite all the odds. What I find interesting is that the current leader of the"geographical expression" has now deemed it fit to let us know that though the marriage is bad, it takes a whole new level of madness to get a divorce after being married for 100 years.

Part of a bad marriage, is disgruntled senior wives who not liking the new bride have a way of leaking Oga's performance details to outsiders. For me, when a marriage gets to that point, such a senior wife has to be punished. But sadly, in our "geographical expression", we have a way of letting such senior wives to continue sitting in the National Assembly. How's that for a good marriage?

Ah, the institution of marriage. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes finding a wife is hard, sometimes it is easy. But as the saying goes, "he who finds a wife has found a good thing". Thus it is that serial featured artiste, Brymo has decided that he needs a wife now. May I recommend some prolific match-makers that I know?

Still on the theme of marriage, one of the things that you are not meant to do when you are married is to abandon your spouse no matter how tough things may get. And sometimes things will get tough. So it is probably with great shock that PDP turban is reading today's Punch which gleefully tells us that Nigeria's etibo is about to abandon him. "But I thought this marriage was forever," Grandpa Tukur will probably shriek in connection with the President's u-turn.

But then again, it appears that u-turns are the order of the day. Facing a lot of pressure from online noise-makers, the National Human Rights Commission has joined issues with Covenant University over the expulsion of 200 students for failing to attend a church service in November. Apparently, realising that a contract signed, which from the off already violates the rights of one or more of the signatories, is null and void in a court of law, Covenant University will inform the NHRC that the students were not expelled, rather they were suspended. Indefinitely?

Bits and bobs

Nigeria's Pension Commission is determined to ruffle some feathers. They want to come down on that rather common practice among Nigerian companies of not remitting the pensions of their employees. As a social service, you can contact PenCom either by emailing info@pencom.gov.ng or by phoning +234-9-4603930.

Former Papa Eagle, Jojo Akpoborie wins the Golden Globe for saying nothing new by declaring that Nigeria is not one of the favourites to win Africa's football jamboree which starts on Saturday.

Ogun state shokoto, Kunle Amosun ran Akpoborie close in the competition. He gave us fresh information which stated that NNPC officials were offering more than just a hand of friendship to pipeline vandals. "This is not good for us as a nation. Every time, they will say that vandals have done this and that, what have they (NNPC) done. Some people will be in Abuja blowing big grammars, very ineffective," Amosun moaned as a few kilometres away, some youths whom are still job hunting were recruited to become pipeline vandals.

As is usual with him, Tunde Bakare has ruffled a few feathers by declaring that his fellow pastors are encouraging corrupt leaders. I got a lot of flak for agreeing with him on a radio show this morning, so in order to lick my wounds, I'm off to buy a jet.

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