Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The End of an Era


The first floppy, introduced by IBM in 1971, was a 20cm disk holding just 100kb of data. Ten years later, Sony introduced the standard 3.5" floppy which held 1.44 Mb of data. Unfortunately, that data is now little more than a high resolution picture or a few dozen word-only documents. It is smaller than a standard song (for those of you who use Window$ of course...:D)

Floppies were once about the most vital accessories to computer users and offices worldwide for holding data in an easy-to-store format, which could easily be transferred between PCs. In 1998, 2billion were sold around the world and every computer had a drive to handle them. They were the all-important backup in case computers crashed.

Now that has changed. Memory cards, CDs, DVDs and flash drives may hold up to 1,000 times as much data. 98 per cent of PCs no longer have a floppy drive. According to one source: 'The floppy looks increasingly quaint and simply can't compete.'

After 36 years and billions of sales, the floppy disk is to join the video player, cassette deck and film camera on technology's scrapheap. PC World has announced that it would stop selling the disks once current stocks run out.

Meantime is anyone interested in Vista? I have copies for sale, cheaper than what Micro$oft is offering...

Meanwhile, after a terrible start (they lost to Cameroon, and I am still coming to terms with that!) the Flying Eagles have reached the final of the African Youth Championship. Good luck to them, but I won't forgive the Cameroonian loss.

Is Obasanjo on crack?

Define irony?

I have a serious problem with Nigeria playing Big Brother Africa while all is not well at home. I am sick of it. Remember that back in the seventies we paid the salaries of civil servants in Haiti for months while not putting in place strategies to ensure sustainable growth back home.

Power cuts are the norm rather than an exception and no one complains. The power supply and distribution in Nigeria leaves more than a lot to be desired. The government of Nigeria is fully aware that the energy passing through the national grid is woefully inadequate.

Instead of finding ways and means of generating more electricity so Nigerians can have a much more stable supply of electricity, we are dashing some of it to Ghana??? Abi dem Ghana boys put winch for mouth?


Juve watch

Gigi Buffon has insisted that he is not interested in a move to Inter after underlining that his future is with us. Read more here.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Does God fly Emirates?

A few weeks ago in an English premiership match between Arsenal and Blackburn, Blackburn's Robbie Savage battled Arsenal's Gilberto Silva for a loose ball in midfield.

Savage hacked Silva to the ground, kneed and kicked him some more while he was down, and then fell like he'd been hit by a roundhouse when Silva lashed out at him with his foot.

At this point the ref stepped in, booked Savage and then sent Silva off, unfair if you ask me.

Contrary to "world people's" expectations,10-man Arsenal took complete control of the game and saw off Blackburn with Thierry Henry scoring a fantastic second goal.

Unfortunately, Silva's red card meant he was going to miss the crunch tie against Manchester United, and it didn't look good for Arsenal.

Cue more shame to "world people". Arsenal matched and eventually defeated United in a game where Silva absence's was hardly felt!


And then ...

The same week in a game against Watford,Robbie Savage's foot is broken by a challenge from a Watford player Robbie himself would have been proud of, and.......... he's out for the rest of the season!!!!!!!!!!!

DOES GOD "FLY EMIRATE" OR WHAT?

Edit: I am not responsible for this gibberish.


Juve watch

To be honest, Gigi kept us in the last match. Had it not been for him, we'd have lost woefully as Spezia parked the team but in front of their goal, and relied on I must say incisive counter attacks, one of which they scored. Neddy scored a magical equaliser with the last kick of the game when all seemed lost.

But we have to complain once again, and very sadly too about the refereeing. Giannichedda was sent off, we had a blatant penalty denied, and as DD pointed out after the game, we've not had a single penalty come our way this season. That is not one spot kick since August!

Looks to me like the whole of the Italian establishment is out to get us, I couldn't get a stream to watch the match, so I listened in on RAI, and you need to have heard the way the commentator was screaming when Spenzia scored. He was in orgasms! I must acknowledge that Spezia played well and were as disciplined as they could be, but this attitude towards Juve has just become too ridiculous.

The person who committed the crime has long since gone. Why must the club continue to suffer?

Saturday, January 27, 2007

What does your birthday mean?

Your Birthdate: May 10

Independent and dominant, you tend to be the alpha dog in most situations.
You're very confident, and hardly anything ever shakes you.
Mundane tasks tend to drain you - you prefer to be making great plans.
You are quite original. When people don't "get" you, it bothers you a lot.

Your strength: Your ability to gain respect

Your weakness: Caring too much what others think

Your power color: Orange-red

Your power symbol: Letter X

Your power month: October
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

They try. Got me in everything but colour. But what the hell is power symbol and power colour?

Thanks Crab.


Juve watch


We kick off at Spezia in just over 2 hours. DD says that topping the table at this point doesn't mean anything if at the end of the season we still aren't there. Great to see his head is properly screwed on. FORZA JUVE!!!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Nigeria: to return or not to return

Okay, so Maestro has come and gone. We had fun, lots of fun. Met up with a few members of NaijaRyders, a forum that he convinced me to join. One of the things about that place is that the moment one logs on, all pretensions of being a serious minded person go through the window. The place is one damned freak show. Quite different from any other forum that I've been to. That however, is a topic for discussion some other time.

It would be wrong of me to say that seriousness takes a back seat in its entirety on NR, sometimes we do have debates on serious issues that leaves me with profound respect for the intellectual capacities of some of the members. One of such people, myself and Maestro met on Friday last at Victoria, her user name of NR is Tomapep, and she comes across as a nice and rather matronly lady. Very intelligent too, and incisive. I gained a lot from the two hours or so we spent there talking, and at the end of the talk, we went to a library. Naturally, the bulk of the conversation was about Nigeria, and her myriad of problems. Once again, my guy's pessimism about Nigeria came to the fore, and he made a statement which I've heard from quite a number of people: "I don't know how you people still have faith in Naija, una try sha."

He and a lot of others won't go back if they could help it. A lot would behave like Philip Emeagwali and actively (with pride I might add) aid in the brain drain of our continent.

You see, there are two sides to every coin. Naturally, you have to have those like me who believe that one day Nigeria would change for the better, while on the other side, you have those who believe that the country is doomed. But then again, you have the largest group. They are the neutrals, positively neutral, or negatively neutral like Maestro. Tomapep is positively neutral. She is hoping for a positive change and hasn't lost hope. In my opinion, people like that have gotten comfortable here and would be hard pressed to go back. But can you really blame them? It is not and easy task to exchange certainty for uncertainty. When I came this way, I was sure that I would go back home as soon as I am through with my Masters. Now I am not so sure.

Now, one thing that has bothered me especially when I began to absorb a lot of what Prof. Comely threw at my class in the first semester was what happens after my programme. You see, the longer Prof. Comely went on, the more I realised one thing: the prediction that was made by Mr. A. Bello, my MD at Micro Access is coming true. When I was resigning from the firm 14 months ago in preparation for my aborted January Masters start, he had warned me that I'd end up being over qualified to work in the Nigerian IT field, and that if I really wanted to work in Nigeria, a CCNP would be more practical. Back then I felt he was trying to "prevent my progress", so I resigned nevertheless. I am afraid he was dead right.

Going back in time to 2002 when I was working at Gateway Bank has brought me to a jolt of sad reality. Back then I was working in Gateway's IT department, and there were quite a few of us, including a guy called Femi who is as good a programmer as I've ever seen here or in Naija. But when it was time to do the really heavy stuff, the stuff that required hardcore programming, the bank in conjunction with FASYL, always flew in Indian experts, some of whom Femi used to have to put through their paces. The rest of us were essentially support staff. Same thing in Micro Access, when there was work to be done beyond a certain level, 'experts' from Resourcery were brought in. Itex was no different, it is a South African firm anyway, and when there was a major issue, we had to get back to Shawn in South Africa. Having worked closely with the IT departments of various Nigerian financial institutions during my stint with Itex, I daresay that the only guys who make a genuine effort to do all that they can in-house is Zenith Bank.

I am currently being forced to learn programming now (I have always run from heavy programming) because it is an essential part of network engineering and administration in these parts unlike back home. I also have to learn programming because of what I want to do for my dissertation. I want to focus on parallel computing, because that is the field of IT that truly gives me a hard on (it involves lots of Linux). Unfortunately, as far as I know, there is no Super Computer in Nigeria, hell according to the Super Computer map, there is not a single Super Computer in Africa! Now I understand the tough choice c0dec had to make during his programme. See, he is a hardcore programmer who is into designing games under the Open GPL platform. Where does he want to get a job in Naija?

However, not all is gloomy, unless we chose it to be that way. I strongly believe that Nigeria is on the up. I will give reasons (again) in another post. However, even those of us who are fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to be stuck in a foreign land can still contribute our quota.

I want to point out the following:
Lakshmi Mittal is based in London, but he contributes a lot to the Indian economy, and is one of the main reasons that India is getting on the map.
Tata is an institution in India, responsible for 2.8% of India's GDP. It has become a major player in the global market place. It got there by the contributions of Indians based both home and abroad.
Lenovo, a Chinese firm which with state backing (Transcorp anyone?) has become so big that they bought IBM!

Nigerians abroad do not need to jump on a plane to rush back home and saturate an already saturated job market. What they need to do is to work together irrespective of location to improve the country. At least nowadays there is the internet, and even someone in Vladivostok can tell you what happened in Nguru ten minutes ago if he is so inclined. What is the point of Jelani Aliyu leaving GM and running back home when we don't produce cars yet in Nigeria? I will borrow the following from Omodudu's article which I recommend that you read:

We ought to take a cue from the Chinese and Indians, they do not graduate and go back home, they take over corporations, and then use such leverage to influence outsourcing decision. The outsourcing trend and IT growth in these countries were initiated by dudes in Silicon valley.

What use is the Nigerian professor of nanotechnology at MIT to UNILAG? If he stays put in Boston and then launch an online research collaboration with UNILAG physics laboratory. I believe that would be more productive than going to Nigeria to struggle for the limited grants available to the home grown academics. Lets think outside the box my people, what worked 15 years ago, may be wrong in 2006.

We need to get past how well we can sew a piece of Ankara. The Idea of National cake has become archaic, the cake is more like a worldwide cake right now. Trust me, there has to be a cake somewhere to make people take actions. The days of all those Lincoln clichés are over. If your presence in Nigeria is not crucial to the contribution, please contribute from afar.

Having said all this, I'd also like to remind people: Like it or not, our blood is Naija, and to Naija we shall all return, so we had better get our acts together and do some proper investments back home so the place will grow. Some people like to believe that they are now fully integrated foreigners. I will believe that crap if and only if Barack Obama wins the US elections next year, which I make bold to say WILL NOT HAPPEN.

I will return home. The question is not if, the question is when, and how.



Juve watch

Michel Platini, a Juventino, has just become President of UEFA. Congratulations to him, and to the club for achieving the distinction of being the first club to produce a continental football president.

Platini's major plan is to limit the maximum number of clubs each country can have in the Champions League to three - something he intends to have in place by 2009-10.

It is a worthy ambition, which is supported by most European countries and right-thinking football supporters who haven't been brainwashed by Sky's coverage of the Premiership. But predictably not by folk here in England who stand to loose a place.

"It is going to bring a lot of heartache to our league. It would be a big blow," cried Sam Allardyce whose side have never even qualified for the event.

Michel, my one request to you: restore our two lost Scudetti. FORZA JUVE!!!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Milan and Inter indicted!

Milan and Inter have been indicted by Federal Prosecutor Stefano Palazzi as part of his latest investigation.

Both clubs have been accused of false accounting in order for them to register for the 2004-05 season and Palazzi decided to hand the case to the disciplinary commission after completing his enquiry.

The investigation was launched after goalkeeper Simone Brunelli reported that his signature had been counterfeited in 2003 when he was sold from Milan to Inter.

The unknown 23-year-old player, who is still owned by Inter but has been out of action since 2004 because of an injury, was sold to the Via Durini outfit during the summer of 2003.

However, he only learned about his transfer from the newspapers and received a signed contract at his home only after insisting the club send it to him.

He then discovered that the signature on the agreement was not his and that he was valued at £2m, despite his monthly wage only being £1,700.

Brunelli’s case, as well as a civil enquiry, caused the new Federal investigation to be launched. Milan and Inter will now be judged by the disciplinary commission for objective responsibility in the case

Nerazzurri official Gabriele Oriali and the goalkeeper himself, who moved to Vis Pesaro on a loan deal in 2005, will also go in front of the commission.

Palazzi also transmitted the file to Federal Commissioner Luca Pancalli, who will be called to assess the situation and decide if the clubs will be handed any punishment.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A Corrupt Nation That Lives on Bribes

The rest of it here. The way some Nigerians carry on about how our nation is the worst place on earth, you'd think we are the only guilty people...



Corruption is a human thing.
Something just said on LBC: Women are like apples. The good ones are at the top of the tree, while the bad ones are on the ground underneath the tree and are thus easier to get at. Good women wait where they are for men who are brave enough to come and get at them. Men on the other hand are like wine, they may mature with age but cannot mature without proper handling. It is up to the woman to thresh him properly.

Nilla just challenged me to do an article about Nigeria. I will do that my dear, let me get my thoughts together. In the meantime enjoy the following which appeared in today's Guardian.

At first flush, it appeared a few days ago that Ndigbo were on the verge of political empowerment following a ThisDay report that the apex Igbo political organisation the Ohaneze Ndigbo was planning to back the candidacy of Prof. Pat Utomi under the banner of APGA. The development was welcome news for many observers of Igbo national politics which are frequently marked by an unhealthy multiplicity of political parties and presidential aspirants.

Unlike the other major ethnic groups of the northern and western geopolitical zones, the Igbo is the least likely to win the presidency because of the inability of its political elite to back a consensus candidate. People from other zones usually sponsor Igbo candidates for the purposes of dividing and weakening them during national elections. This is why the news about Ohaneze's determination to support Prof. Utomi generated enthusiastic support among many forward looking Igbo. But predictably, that was not for long.

No sooner had the ThisDay article hit the stands than an internet setup generally believed to be sponsored by Governor Orji Kalu's campaign hurriedly began a hatchet job on Prof. Utomi, challenging his Igboness and angrily dismissing the Ohaneze endorsement news. This was followed not surprisingly by a similar article in Orji Kalu's tabloid, The Sun, which attributed statements of denial of endorsement to three Ohaneze chieftains.

Ohaneze's effort to tie Ndigbo to a candidate and a political party of their own is good political strategy, something that has eluded Igbo politics since the end of the civil war. But Ndigbo are their own worst political enemies. The reason for the current political marginalisation of Igbo in Nigerian politics is political disunity and an undesirable inability to unite under one leader. In recent past, this has been the biggest headache of Ohaneze leadership.

Another is the penchant of leaders of Igbo organisations to be up for sale to the highest bidder among Nigerian politicians. No such claim about Ohaneze leadership in the past has ever been proven, and certainly, the current Ohaneze leadership is made up of men and women of unquestionable character and high principles. This is why it is probably true that they have chosen a candidate to endorse purely on merit.

But since Nigerian politicians believe in the power of money rather than argument or good policies, Igbo organisations will always be approached to sellout their constituencies for personal benefits. Indeed, the long hand of moneyed politicians are said to have corrupted the hapless leadership of a group called World Igbo Congress (WIC). The organisation's leaders according to a row currently raging among their members and which is fast going public are now in the pocket of Governor Kalu . Last year, the leadership of WIC attempted to anoint Governor Kalu with a WIC endorsement, but vocal opposition by the general membership killed the under-handed plan.

WIC leaders who are rumoured to be living big under the governor's generosity have shifted the venue for a fresh attempt to endorse the governor under a new ploy with the grand name "Igbo summit" scheduled to take place in Owerri, Imo State on the of February 25. If this is true, then, Ndigbo will surely be marginalised for a long, long time to come. As one Igboman who lives in Lagos lamented, "if Ndigbo who live and work abroad can be paid to sell out the political future of Ndigbo, what hope is there for those of us that never left?" The good news is that the new leadership of Ohaneze Ndigbo appears to enjoy the respect and confidence of Ndigbo more than ever before.

I wonder if the Biafra brigade would come and accuse the writer Mr. Chukwudi Okonmah of not being Igbo. The same accusation that has been levelled at myself and any other of Igbo extraction who speaks the truth...


Juve watch


Gigi has committed, Camo has done same. They will be with us next season. Now for Trez...

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The things we do for football...

An Argentinian teenager is suing a River Plate-supporting tattooist who inked a big phallus on his back instead of the Boca Juniors logo he asked for. "I could not see what he was tattooing because he didn't have a mirror. I only saw it when I got home and showed it to my parents," sobbed the unfortunate young man who can't be named for legal reasons.

Porto scandal?

The following was in today's Fiver:

The Portuguese Football Federation is to take disciplinary action against 11 referees after the publication of a book by the former girlfriend of Pinto da Costa, the president of Porto, in which she alleges the club often paid bribes to referees. Hell hath no fury, etc

Let's see how far FIFA, UEFA, the press and yourself take this...

Monday, January 22, 2007

Why did she do it?

I have Muslim friends. Some of them girls. I am not a close relative of any of them, neither am I married to any of them. But I have had some form of body contact (get your mind out of the gutter), with each and every one of them. A handshake in some cases, and in the case of Halima, the occasional hug. They are all practising Muslims, strong faith and all that, yet they don't see anything wrong in showing some form of affection for a friend.

So what then is this woman's problem? Why did she refuse to shake the police chief at her passing out? What kind of police woman is she going to make?

By insisting that she can't touch a man other than her husband and/or a close relative, she has precluded herself from ever arresting a criminal. So if I know the precinct (is that what they call it here) that she is assigned to, I may well go and perpetrate some nefarious acts there. What of the other side to the coin? As a police woman she is also duty bound to save lives where necessary. If she sees me hanging on by a thread from a falling building she won't save me? Because I am not her husband and/or close relation?

We need to get extremists out of our midst.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Great weekend for The Premiership

To be honest, I am not in a position to talk about Liverpool's victory over ¢h€£$k¥ yesterday because I didn't get to watch it. I have seen the goals, and I must say that Jermaine Pennant's goal was fantastic. What a way to open your goal scoring account for your club! Pool and Arse have shown that they are not far behind the top two at all in terms of quality. Now they have to learn how to beat Fulham!

Henry's header three minutes into injury time from that sincilating Ebuoe cross capped a remarkable comeback for Arsenal, as they came from behind to beat ManU 2-1. That goal must have been celebrated at Stamford Bridge, and that goal gives Arsenal the double over ManU for the first time since God-only-knows-when.

United had looked to have tightened their grip on the league to the tune of nine points when Rooney registered his first headed ManU goal, but Arsenal had other ideas as van Persie and then Henry, converted with sublime goals. Those goals epitomised the never-say-die attitude of this young Arsenal side, and if Arsenal can manage to keep them together, they will dominate the English landscape in the coming years. Now that is how to do it Jose...


Juve watch

Once again, we stand alone at the top of the table. For most people, the star of yesterday's victory over Bari was Alex, but for me, it was two goal Neddy. Before the game he had said “I can’t wait to get back out there,” and his desire to play was contagious as along with Alex, his magical performance – punctuated by two well-taken goals – helped lead us to victory: “I’m happy for Alex and his 500 appearances. Only a lucky few are able to reach a milestone like that but he’s shown he deserves it over the years”. Alex also set-up Nedddy for the fourth goal, with a brilliant assist, playing the ball through the legs of the Bari defender: “I made the run and I didn’t expect to get the ball but… Alex played great today, with two assists and a goal of his own, but I knew that he’s get it right on a day like this”. His last thought was for the league table, which as I have said, sees la vecchia Signora as outright leaders. “The league table makes for great reading”.

“We were caught cold, without even having enough time to organise ourselves in defence where we had guys who are not used to playing together. But we then reacted, taking the game to them and it’s lucky for Bari they had Gillet in goal, he saved everything”. DD is a happy man after the comeback against Bari, both for the three points (which makes us sole leaders) and the character shown by his team: “I’m satisfied as in spite of the emergency, we’re still picking up points. The table? If we win and the others don’t that’s fine by me. It was important to confirm our good work against Cesena”.

Neddy’s return proved key, as his brace showed. “It’s always the champions who make the difference. Pavel was important, as were Del Piero, Trezeguet and Camoranesi and Zanetti. When these players are on form, the whole team steps up a gear. Giannichedda, who was playing out of position, and Piccolo, who’s been out injured for a year, were also great. I take my hat off to them as it wasn’t easy dealing with an emergency like that for ninety minutes”.

Alex meanwhile was honoured before the game for his 500 appearances as a Juventus player. After marking his 500th appearance with a truly majestic performance, setting up two goals and scoring one himself, he said, “It’s an important milestone. When I look at who I have ahead of me, great champions like Scirea and Furino, I’m enormously proud. It was great to score on a day like this”. The captain then spoke about the game itself: “We’re all very very happy with our performance, we’ve responded well to the defeat at Mantova. The ovation we received from the crowd shows we’ve created a great group here. It’s now just a case of moving forward in the same direction”.

FORZA JUVE!!!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

How a meatpie almost saved the day

This was in my box, written by Ade Adene...

Lately I’ve been in a bit of a dark mood. I haven’t had one of these in a while, probably since my days at the Lawschool (okay! I had one or two of them in Kano too, but that was before Feyi, Oliver, Kemo, Sanni, Toks, Olumide,
Ambrose, Bovo and all the other “good people” became a part of the mosaic of me!)

On Thursday morning however, I had an encounter with a fallen meatpie which not only put a smile in my heart, but also restored my faith in humanity and my country-for a fleeting moment!

There’s this cosy (get that girl off your mind now!) little café near my office where I usually have some light refreshments to keep me going until I have lunch. I went there on Thursday morning, ordered a meatpie, doughnut and a small-size bottle of water (i’m staying off softdrinks till further notice!).
As I settled at “my” table to eat, my meatpie fell off the saucer and settled very impudently on the floor!
See wahala! There was no way I was going to pick it off the floor and put in my mouth as that would negatively affect my “GQ rating” and finicky digestive system.

I walked up to the athletic-looking beauty at the bar, related the tragedy to her and asked for another meatpie.She gave it (the meatpie!) to me and I proceeded to finish my meal.
When I was done eating, I requested for my bill and found that she had charged me for both the meatpie I ate and the one that got away.
Ordinarily, I might have made an issue out of it, but in my current state I put such things in my “get moody about it later” folder, paid her and walked away.

I made a pit-stop at another regular joint-the mallam who sells sweets, chewing gum and the ilk a few meters away from the cafe. I picked up N 10 worth of Vicks lemon drops, paid and as I turned to walk away I came face-to-face with a young man who told me that one “oga” in the place where I just finished eating was calling me.

Dateline: January 18, 2007 Location: LAGOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hellooooo!!! I’ve been in Lagos less than a year and in that time I’ve seen it all.

I’ve been mugged, sat on the kerb and watched while a jeep was snatched at gun-point less than 5 meters from where I sat, watched a man drive blissfully past me with a python wrapped around his neck and another on his dashboard…………………. Heck! I could make a flick Jerry Bruckheimer would be proud of from my experiences in my short time here!

So u can imagine what was going through my mind when a funny-looking young man I did’nt know told me that an “oga” I also did’nt know was calling me.

My “spider senses” went into overdrive. “Ade! If you don’t want to be the tragic subject of this evening’s edition of P.M. News, now would be a good time to walk away!!
Time stood still in matrix-like fashion as I pondered the possibilities.

1. I walk into the bar, a hood is slipped over my head, I’m dragged into
kitchen and butchered with a carving knife

2. I walk into the bar, where I meet an immaculately-groomed young man
who makes me an “indecent proposal ”

3. I walk into the bar, where I meet an immaculately-groomed young man
who commends my positively-egregious dress sense and:
a. Offers me an international career in modeling
b. Offers me a six-figure monthly salary in a job as laid-back as “Sunday morning”

I walked back towards the café against my better judgment, and as I approached the place, I noticed a man who I presumed (from his manner and dressing) to be the chief cook of the café at the bar with the young woman who served me earlier.

I’d hardly stepped within earshot of him when he launched into the most profuse (and sincere) apology I’ve heard in a while. He told me he’d observed the meatpie on my table after I’d left and enquired as to what had happened.
He’d sent the “young man” after me upon being told what had happened and as he continued to apologize for the unfortunate incident he reached out with a well-packed surprise which turned out to be another meatpie.

I said thank you and walked away with his apologies trailing in my wake.

I doubt if I could have been stunned any better by the tail of an electric eel!
For me the whole incident was a bit like near-post tap-in from Thierry Henry!! Or a speech devoid of bile from Chief Femi Fani-Kayode or an interview with Jose Mourinho devoid of a memorable quote, or ……. (guess u’ve gotten the idea!)

As I walked away my faith in humanity and Nigerians was rekindled (fleetingly it turned out!). Maybe there are still a few decent humans out there…….. maybe we should pool our resources, buy ourselves a country and run away before we are polluted by the majority, or maybe we should stay and try to “change the world” nah…………….. who am I kidding?

This was a one-off. “Normal service” will resume tomorrow when all the grouches and grinches return from their strategic retreat; and the world will once again be populated by “bad people”.

Come to think of it, maybe the Chief cook is one of them………….maybe there is juju in the meatpie……………………….

Thanks Pool

For brushing ¢h€£$k¥ aside, I want to thank the bleeding Scousers. Boso, it still doesn't mean we are friends in football terms...


Juve watch

Half time at the Olimpico, and we are leading Bari 2-1. Fluttering hearts when Bari scored with the first kick of the game, but we have come back and are in control. Neddy is back from that silly 5 match ban, and he got the second goal. We have been one of the most active clubs in the market this window, but none of the players signed thus far is starting now. We are preparing for our Serie A return. Forza Juve!

Next up, Arsenal v ManU at Emirates tomorrow. Maestro is around and wants to go to the stadium. I don't mind, but I can only imagine that the pricing would be crazy. Somehow I doubt we will make it there...

Friday, January 19, 2007

The Big Brother Show


Will Carphone warehouse withdrawing their sponsorship of the Celebrity Big Brother event change the inherent 'racism' I see everyday when I enter either a train or a bus? I am rather shocked that the whole brouhaha has become a diplomatic incident. Do the Indians expect Gordon Brown to spank the inmates of the Big Brother house?

I don't think so. People by default tend to distrust what they aren't familiar with, hence we have phenomena such as racism, tribalism, favouritism and nepotism. When you put people in together, there is a tendency to band together in an ad-hoc sense. The easiest criteria are things such as race, religion or tribe. So it has always been, so it will always be.

Anyone who has really settled down to observe human behaviours would notice that amongst more enlightened people, these criteria are the initial 'definition' of alliances, but the longer you leave such people together, then more 'tangible' criteria such as class, wealth, upbringing, education and intellect take over. I saw it in my NYSC, I have seen it in so many other places in Nigeria and elsewhere. It is the way it has been, it is the way it will always be.

Concerning the Jade Goody show, I think that all the hullabaloo which has even become a diplomatic incident is uncalled for. What is the matter with all these people?

Jade and her cronies don't like Shilpa because she's sophisticated (Jade is a 'ghetto girl'), rich (really rich, not a JJC like Jade), beautiful (Jade is ugly), and clever (Jade is, well, uneducated to say the least). These qualities that Shilpa has are qualities that Jade and her friends are lacking. Because Jade and the others are of a similar age and background, they have become a wolf pack, looking for a victim.

The pack mentality is one I have been a victim of before, and I see it everyday around these parts. People group on the one who is perceived as being an 'outsider' and weak to the bargain. They will never pick on someone who is perceived as being strong. Never. If this was all about racism, Jermaine Jackson is in the house, why hasn't anyone picked on him?

My African readers may remember the Project Fame thingy where some of the house mates ganged up on Jid'dah. They never ganged up on Dare in the open because he is a 'big, strong' man. They perceived that Jid'dah was weak, so she made an easy target. When she gave it back to them, and gave it to them hard, they all nominated her for eviction. They were frightened of her. But at least before she left, she had her peace.

I don't think Jade is more racist than most of the Brits who are pontificating about her attitude giving the country a bad name. In fact, I find the allegation a little bewildering. Yes, some of them mocked Shilpa because she is from India, but which of us isn't guilty of having yabbed someone before based on where they are from? It doesn't make them racist.

It is about class. She's high class, they are lowlifes who don't like 'bloody foreigners'. It is practised everyday all over the UK. The reaction in India burning effigies) is not acceptable.

Well, at least I can take consolation from the fact that at the end of this show, Jade would be ruined. It was getting to be an embarrassment that someone who didn't work, and who has no intelligence whatsoever, would make so much money. Her success is/was one of the factors that is fuelling the reluctance of many British children to go to school.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Back to being human

You probably noticed from my last set of posts that I was keeping odd hours. Just woke up from a nine hour stretch, and I think I'm back to normal.

Normal blog service resumes later today. Maestro's coming to town...

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

What distro?

Maybe the approach has been wrong all along...

There are so many Linux distributions (distros) out there, based on the philosophy of the owner of said distro. A lot of people who want to make the transition from Windows to Linux tend to be put off by the sheer number of distros. "Which one suits me?" Truth be told, it is impractical to expect a n00b to go about testing distros in order to find which one suits him. People get tired.

I bumped into this test a few weeks back, and having tried it so many times, I keep getting the same results. And the funny thing is this: the distros the test tells me would suit me, are the distros that I actually like, and use.

Not exactly a scientific test, but fairly accurate. My own results are in the picture below:


If you want to make the transition from Window$, I recommend you take the test. It will save you a lot of work...

Currently supported distros are:
Arch Linux
Ark Linux
Debian
Fedora Core
Foresight Linux
Gentoo
Knoppix
Kubuntu
Linspire
Mandriva
MEPIS
OpenSuSE
PCLinuxOS
Slackware
Ubuntu
Xandros
Yellowdog Linux

You might also be interested in viewing online demos of distros at http://www.osvids.com/

Mum Loves Ubuntu

I've become a nocturnal animal. Sleep is difficult because during the exam periods I got used to staying awake at night to read...



A lot of mothers (and fathers) fall prey to the “Your computer is too old - buy a new one!” scam. First a little explanation as to how the scam develops:

  1. Mum buys new computer
  2. Computer comes with “Free” AOL/NetZero/random ISP account, as well as loads of unwanted software
  3. A month later, the “free” antivirus’ license has expired, so has the “free” firewall’s license
  4. Mum uses computer for 6 months, so do an increasing number of trojans, spyware and adware
  5. Mum finds computer too slow
  6. A visit to the local electronics/computer store is planned
  7. Computer “diagnosed” at £50 per hour
  8. Diagnosis: Computer too old, buy a new one, OR, we can fix it for you in 4 hours (and it will cost £300)
  9. Mum buys new computer
  10. Computers-at-home+=1
  11. GOTO 1

So mum ends up with more than one computer, none of which are “fast” or maybe none of which work reliably and reasonably. What is the fix? Use Ubuntu!

That’s what I learnt from the post at Shooting the Kids(relax, it is about photography) about how his Mum loves Ubuntu.

My mum now owns 3 laptops and two desktops (one I’ve been using for a couple of years) - none of which are older than 5 years. Sound like your parents?…Tired of this trend, I decided to install Ubuntu on my mom’s new laptop…My mum’s become an evangelist to some of her friends. She told me that last week she and her lifelong friend had been on the phone talking about how they love their new Ubuntu systems and comparing cool features they’ve discovered. I think it’s fair to say that Linux has come home.

I admit the guy had to step in to help the wireless card along for one Laptop, but that is not so bad - every once in a while I get calls from people I know asking for help with getting something-or-the-other working in Windows XP! So I think, yes, it is fair to say Ubuntu is coming home.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Global Top 100

As Nigerians we need to learn to look beyond oil and gas. Notice that of the top 100 paying companies in the world, not one is an oil and gas firm...

The list...

My Sex Post

This is my own response to the furore created over Overwhelmed Naija Babe's post. I'm doing this simply because I hate the hypocrisy that has trailed the original. To the people she tagged (those on her blogroll), I think you are all fucking cowards. You all visit her blog for fun, you all voted her in Taurean Minx's awards, and y'all are now leaving her to bear the brunt of religious nuts alone? Show her some support in real terms. Do the shyte.

1.) How old were you the first time? 17

2.) Name of your first? Ebo

3.) Good or Bad? Bad. Due to my inexperience, she made me feel like a wimp, and laughed at me a lot after that. Didn't go near another woman for a year after that.

4.) Name of the worst and why? Refer to previous response

5.) Name of the best and why? A girl known as Vivian. Whoever trained her did an excellent job.

6.) Weirdest place you ever had sex? Upstairs lecture theatre, Faculty of Social Sciences UNIBEN.

7.) Favourite Position: Missionary. I'm pretty conservative.

8.) Ever fake an orgasm? How? I'm a guy.

9.) Would you admit it if the person asked? Refer to above

10.) Favourite time of day to have sex? Conservative. Night time.

11.) Most times you have had sex in one day? There was this crazy girl I went out with in my UNIBEN days. There was a time she came over to visit. To make a foolish story short, I missed lectures for 2 days. Amebo people, I can't give her name. She's married now. Can' be held liable for someone else's divorce. I'm already heading for trouble on the ground of this post...

12.) Same person? Yes.

13.) Ever fantasize about someone other than the one you’re with? Yes. I was once in an embarrassing situation. Myself and U went on a date, and a girl I had a minor fantasy about came around. U caught me ogling her.

14.) Restrictions during sex? If I ever get back to this rather unfamiliar terrain of discussion, we might talk about that.

15.) Accessories? Au 2πr

16.) What? What?

17.) Done it in the rain? Shower


18.) Done it in a car? No

19.) Had a Threesome? No…. not interested


20.) Want to have sex now? No.

Tag all who read this. We have to show people that you can't impose your ideas on anyone. Convince them, yes. Impose? Never!

The Art of Dialogue

Homines libenter quod volunt credunt. ---Julius Caesar.

The above statement aptly describes the reaction to the census results in Nigeria, and the reaction to the aftermath, where some people have chosen to believe that there is a deliberate attempt to keep them (and their tribes) down. No matter how hard one tries to reason with certain people, they will refuse to shift ground. I guess it is that 'variety' that makes the world go round. As it is said, variety is the spice of life. I have my own views on issues, which I am never afraid to express. It would be foolhardy for me to expect every other Nigerian to agree with my positions. Not everyone has the same 'blind' faith that I have in my country. Good. Every man is entitled to believe what he wants. That is what Julius Caesar said, and it is true. I can't force my position on another person, but then neither should he, or they, try to force theirs on me.

My census post has generated some comments, and as is usual with the blogosphere, the anonymous posters came. I accept that for every post that attracts comments, there have to be some people anonymous. I welcome the majority of these comments because I learn something from them. Besides, not everyone has the time to register in blogger. Same way, not everyone will remember to open a blog like mine everyday. Some people are busy, which is the reason I send my articles to certain people by mail after writing. Some of them forward the articles, which I appreciate, though as a result, I get some hate mail from people I don't know.

I will not enable comment moderation on this blog because I'm a believer in freedom of speech. According to the UN, Freedom of speech is the concept of the inherent human right to voice one's opinion publicly without fear of censorship or punishment.

But that freedom, like all freedoms should be exercised with responsibility, not recklessness, which is why the 'evil' of censorship might actually be a necessary evil. You see, with new freedoms comes new responsibilities. Unfortunately, our people have yet to learn that.

I have noticed a very worrying trend in the Nigerian web space. It is there in forums such as Nairaland (at least when I used to browse that site) and CyberEagles, and now it is creeping into the blogosphere. This trend is the inability to stay within the bounds of reason, and a willingness to resort to name calling the moment someone else voices an opinion contrary to yours. That is sad. These people don't realise that in any given confrontation, the person who throws the first blow has admitted that his argument lacks merit.


Now let us look at the latest anonymous comment here on the census post:

you are so stupid, the river that divided naija said it all, break up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What necessitated the insult? Nothing as far as I can tell. The person is very much a separatist who believes that Nigeria should break up along the natural boundaries offered by the rivers Niger and Benue. Good for him, he is entitled to his view. I don't agree with his view, and I've given reasons before. I would again sometime in the future, but not in this post.

These same islamic fundamentalists killed Catholic Igbos when those Dutch cartoons where published. And you are surprised they are doing manipulating figures?

For your information Mr. Anonymous, not all the people who were killed in those riots were Igbo and/or Catholic. Can we get out of that mentality? The war ended 37 years ago last week. It is unfortunate that some of you still chose to carry a chip on your shoulders even after this long.

I'm sorry but your blog reeks of daydreams and false hopes. There is no place in the world I can think of where muslims and christians coexist in peace. islam by its nature it blends its teachings with everyday life. A country cannot have major Christain populations mixed a major moslem population. It just will not work.

Muslims and Christians coexisted in peace in the Middle East for 400 years before Christians triggered off the Crusades. Muslims and Christians existed in relative peace side by side within the boundaries of the Ottoman Empire from 1453 to 1922. Jews, Christians and Muslims rose to positions of prominence within said Empire without the molestation that religious minorities (Muslims and Jews) suffered in Europe. Go and read up, then come back. By the way, you are right, Islam blends its teachings with everyday life, so do Judaism and Christianity. What is your point there?

THat nigeria has lasted this long is even amazing. Sooner or later people will get fedup of the tribalism, secterian favoritisms and power structure and it will all come tumbling down. Nigeria is an abstraction an all fronts.

Nigeria was actually formed before either the Soviet Union or Czechoslovakia. I know those are the examples you and your ilk love to point out as examples of multicultural failures, then always conveniently forget other multicultural nations such as the USA...

Let them go their own Sharia way and suffer the consequesnces. They are piss poor anyway and do not have any real future other than becoming another rogue state like Somalia.

Once again the them versus us mentality. You really do need to get a life. Somalia is a shining example of a state that is everything you want, homogeneous. But then you forget that don't you?

It would make sense for a non Islamic Nigeria to concentrate on development and advancing itself on the World stage, instead of trying to bring in two-thousand year old backward laws and lifestyles Sad


So who is the non-Islamic Nigeria? You seem to have forgotten that a large percentage of the Yoruba are Muslim. You seem to have forgotten that half of Edo State is Islamic. I don't even know why I wasted brain power on you.

Nsukka Diocese

I just love what these people did. We have to learn to look inwards. I must say that Bishop Okobo has balls. This move will prove very unpopular especially in that zone where we have a lot of miscreants like the anonymous I just talked about. Bishop Gbuji (Enugu) I hope you are watching...

Share the money

...and kill each other in the process. Absolutely no need to analyse this one. Like I said, time would prove me right about these people.

Blog wars

My rant about the anonymous poster brings out something that I noticed on Olawunmi's blog last Friday. I made my comment on the topic, ported it to the madness that is NaijaRyders, then forgot about it until now.

The bloglines as is their tradition, marked Wunmi's blog as unread, so I went there again. Same article, 30 responses. That prompted me to visit Overwhelmed Naija Babe's blog to see what the furore is all about...

137 comments for her response to this post! Damn! And to make matters worse, some religious nuts have condemned her to hell because of the post? Xt!

What is the matter with people? Why can't you just close the page if the content is offensive to you? Truth is this: going by the sheer volume of traffic those posts have generated, the belief that sex sells has once again been reinforced.

Like it or not, Nigerian youths are having a lot more sex than people want to admit. We are not some bastion of morality. Is it because we pretend and unlike those in the Western world do not talk about it? Why is it that despite all the government bans and the public frowns, magazines like Better Lover are still very much around, and recording tremendous sales?

Despite all the holier than thou, blogs like Overwhelmed which have a strong sexual theme will always attract more readers than any other. And that traffic includes the religious types. Live with it.


Juve watch

We just beat Cesena 2-1 in our outstanding tie, so we are once again top of the table. Zebina got himself sent off. With our injury crisis I wonder what got into that twat's skull. In the meantime, we have started preparing for our return to the Serie A next season. Two good players have confirmed that they will be joining us at the start of the season: Zdenek Grygera from Ajax, and Hassan Salimahidzic from Bayern Munich. We are making moves to get some other guys, and I laughed in Igbo and Italian when Emerson said he regrets leaving...

Boso, a message to you: Your action in pointing out the Interista 'record' has been viewed as the act of a very hostile party, and the necessary action is definitely going to be taken to redress that. You have been warned, not advised.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Do it yourself

Until I came to this neck of the woods, I was used to having a hair cut at least twice a month. Then I got this way, and with the exception of one occasion when Maestro cut my hair, and I butchered his in return, no clipper has seen my head. That is I have had only one haircut since September!

Why was this?


It was because I can't bring myself to pay £7-£10 for a hair cut that back home would go for less than the equivalent of £1. Well, I finally had to go to a barber's yesterday. Chxta Barber. I like the results...



It's back


For just over a month, I've been worried sick about the 'disappearance' of the
web page bearing the allocation figures of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. I feared the worst. Glad to say, the page is back. I just spent the last few minutes comparing the figures on the 'brand new' page to the pdf files I had stored, (I didn't compare all, I just picked some at random), and I'm happy to report that there has been no tampering. Now let them update the page. The figures for November and December are over-due.


Juve watch


Yesterday we lost our first ever Serie B match. I'm too sick to even talk about it.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Nigeria's population issues

Post script: Please bear with me, get a glass of water, this is going to be long...

Before I get crucified, I have to make one thing clear: I don't think the figures from the 2006 census are accurate. Nigeria doesn't have just 140 millions, that is a gross under estimate. We are closer to the 200 mark. After all, some people I know weren't counted, the population of Lagos was grossly underestimated, and the East was all but left out. I also have to take sides with my fellow Southerners and bloggers, in this case David and Anthony in saying that as is usual, the Northerners in order to up their ante produced all the chickens and cows in their households for counting. I would also want to agree with a comment that I saw on Omodudu's blog that there must be at least 4 women to every man in Nigeria. That way there would be more than enough females to go round to satisfy our polygamous tendencies. I have to strongly disagree with the enumerator who told a friend of mine that: would you believe that each aboki family he counted in Abuja had an average of 27 members. some had as much as 43! Finally, I have to agree with my cousin that once again the government in the centre have enacted another evil scheme to throw a spanner in the wheels of the Igbo juggernaut. Now I have agreed to all the allegations, every one should be happy.

But let us for once throw sentiment out of the window, and sit down to analyse these results, the impact of the results. why people are so concerned about the results, and most importantly, what our focus should actually be. Since goats and cows were counted in one part of the country instead of people, doesn't that reduce the population from even the 140 million that was announced?

We have to stop being sentimental and ask ourselves the question that a lot of us in the South don't even want to consider: Suppose it is true that the North is really more populated than the South? Let's at least give it a thought. I think most of us are so prejudiced that once things do not agree with our expectations, we look for all sorts of ways to discredit them.


Ndi Igbo

Let me as is usual begin with 'my constituency', ndi Igbo...

I read somewhere that Ohaneze have rejected the result. Pity I can't find the link, but that is academic. My question is this: where was Ohaneze when the MASSOB youths were busy disrupting the smooth conduct of the census in the East? Where was Ohaneze when an enumerator was sprayed with acid in Onitsha? Where were they when one was killed for trying to do his job? Why didn't they categorically come out then to call those miscreants to order? There are more than enough stories of people who refused to be counted because they are not Nigerian, they are 'Biafran'. What ignorant bollocks! What has that stupid boycott achieved for us except to fall our hand? We need to learn to bargain with what we have in hand while preparing for other eventualities. Granted people should have a right to self determination (I have to make it clear yet again that I don't believe in the Biafran nightmare, it just doesn't make sense), but the question I'd like to ask some of these people is this: 'If your Biafra 'dream' fails nko? By boycotting the census y'all will be short-changed for another 10 years, and who will you blame? Who else can you blame? My mother used to say a bird in hand...


Lagos

Now let's turn our attentions to the Lagos State government that quickly joined the bandwagon of result condemnation...

I gather that Funsho Williams' widow won the Lagos State PDP primaries only for her victory to be given to Musiliu Obanikoro amid statements that a "Lagos man" was needed to give PDP a chance in the elections. (Hilda Williams 'hails' from Rivers State, in case you were wondering.) The question in the minds of those idiots wasn't whether she would be a capable administrator, but rather that she wasn't an indigene of the state. They also seemed to forget that based on all Nigerian cultures a woman automatically becomes an 'indigene' of her husband's place.

Let's be honest, in Lagos (as in other parts of Nigeria), the PDP isn't the only party guilty of this indigene-settler bullshit. I wonder just how many Lagos 'indigenes' there are since the state belongs to only them. Shouldn't that be thrown up as a valid question since in apparent terms Lagos belongs only to the omo Eko? So people, just how many Lagosians are there really?

Having talked about the immediate issue briefly, I'd also like to digress a little and talk about that which has worried me for a very long time, the 'indigene'-settler dichotomy we have in our country. Please refer to the line from Bob Marley's song War where he refered to first class and second class citizens of a nation. We have been running that bull shit in Naija for a long time now, and without any apologies, I lay the blame squarely at the feet of the great Obafemi Awolowo. Had he not initiated the carpet crossing in the Western House of Parliament when he was defeated by Nnamdi Azikiwe, I would probably be able to run for Edo State governor today.

I was born and brought up in Benin City see, and I feel more comfortable when people around me are speaking either Edo or Pidgin, than when they are speaking Igbo (which I tend to stammer through anyway). But because of that stupid 'indigene'-settler stuff which we have running in this country, I'd have to travel many miles eastward if I want to become involved in politics, to a place where I don't really know the issues because I don't live there.

Isn't it funny that Nigerians would go to the US, the UK, Canada, Ireland or wherever to have children so that such kids could lay claim to being citizens of such countries, but in our own country, a man born and bred in Kano would be told to go back to Warri to contest an election simply because his grandfather came from there. That is stupidity. How we are ever going to build one Nigeria with this kind of utter nonsense going on.

Back to the census...

For the sake of all that is fair and just, we have to take into account the following:
Lagos emptied out in the days before the census, I was there, I saw it with my eyes. We must also accept that parts of Lagos weren't counted. A lot of people travelled to their 'home' states for the census. A colleague of mine told me point blank that he didn't want his people to suffer when resources were being shared.

We also must state that parts of Lagos are not actually in Lagos State. The 'Welcome to Lagos' sign board if you are driving in from the East or North is at Berger. Isheri, Igbafo, Ojodu, etcetera are actually in Ogun State.

We also have to acknowledge this fact: populations generally tend to congregate in any of the following kinds of places: places close to a large body of water; commercial centres; fertile lands. That logic should mean that it would be more likely to have a larger population in and around the Niger-Benue Basin, the Delta, the Lake Chad Basin, and the ancient commercial centre of Kano.

We also have to take into account the relative population densities. Looking at figures for face value can be misleading. The truth remains that at the end of the day, the states in the North are bigger in terms of geographical area than their counterparts in the South. What I would be more interested in is a table of population density, not just raw figures.

If for argument's sake both Lagos and Kano had identical population figures, but Kano had twice the land mass, how would anyone ever believe that Kano had such a high population? Impossible to accept, because the density would be half that of Lagos, and that's what people base their 'estimates' on. In such a scenario, for 'Kano' to match the population density of Lagos, it would have to further double its population, or Lagos would have to empty half of its own.

I myself have asked 'where are the people?' when visiting the North. I was expecting to see the 'crush' of humanity I was used to in Lagos and Ibadan and Onitsha. People generally do not take into account land mass when comparing population figures.



The story of Northern Nigeria and the myth of the cows

One of the prevalent myths circulating around in the minds of majority of southerners in Nigeria is that the North is all desert. That is wrong. There is no true desert zone in Nigeria. Granted there is a gradual 'desertification' especially in Katsina and Bornu. But apart from the rain forest in the South, we have three grades of savannah in the North. Remember Social Studies from JSS2? Again, population size is a different concept from population density. Size refers to total number of persons in a territory or region. Density relates to number of persons to an area. Specifically, density of population is the number of persons per square kilometre. The South is a smaller physical area – roughly a quarter of the country's land area – and is more densely populated than the North. The North - which accounts for the other three-quarters of the total land area - may have a larger population but far lower population density than the South. The concentration of people in a small area, such as Lagos State, because of visibility would as a result falsely suggest a very large population relative to the other less dense areas. Thus, simply because the South is more densely populated than the North does not guarantee that it should automatically have a larger population.

Case point the map below


Bangladesh has a far greater population density (985) than India (336), but India at 1.2 billion people, eclipses Bangladesh's 149 millions. You want an even greater shocker? Take a look at the global population density table, and see which countries have the highest population densities. Does this automatically translate to a higher population? Your guess is as good as mine, NO. Strangely enough, if you go further down the list, Russia (8.4) is the 209th in the league table of population density, but when you compare with the list of countries by raw population figures, they come in at number 8 (between Bangladesh and Nigeria). All this goes to show that you can travel miles without seeing anybody, but still have a lot of people in the yard...

Another myth that we like to perpetuate in the South is the myth that the rain forest is more habitable to human life than the (once again) desert. Well, first things first, we have shown that there is no desert in Naija, so let us look at this rain forest thing again critically...

A comparison of maps of the distribution of worlds population with that of vegetation reveals a most significant pattern: Universally, tropical rain forest areas, as found in southern Nigeria, are densely settled: it is an acknowledged fact that the most densely populated climate zones tend to be those of the savannah and the Mediterranean climates where there is a marked division into rainy and dry seasons. Except in certain areas where powerful cultures have evolved, most forests have been associated with low population densities, not only because of the thickness of vegetation and the difficulties of clearing but also of diminution of soil fertility after clearance and high incidence of diseases as well as limitations of human technology to tackle such environment. Michael Crichton in his book Congo described the African rain forest as “impenetrable, indestructible, and hostile in every way to human life. The soil can only support mere and infrequent harvests. Man is a marginal being, menaced and infested”. That is the main reason the Amazon forest of Brazil is sparsely populated. Countries in Africa that are entirely rain forest, Congo, Cameroon and Gabon for example have low population densities (24, 34 and 4.6). Or haven't you wondered why Congo Kinshasa with all that land mass has at least 30 million people less than Egypt? For your information, the bulk of the food produced in Nigeria, is not produced in the South, and agriculture has always been a major attraction for labour.

I can't argue against the story of people being attracted to water bodies because it is true. But what I'll do it to point out that the Niger's point of entry into Nigeria is in Kebbi State. There is the Benue, and there is Lake Chad. Not to mention quite a number of water bodies all over the North. For crying out loud, I have taken a swim in Gurara.


Sex ratio

The outcry about there being more males than females just goes to prove the point that Nigerian men are randy. What is the matter with us? How can you think of 4 women to a man? Even at the end of World War II when the Russians had a surplus of females, the ratio never hit 1.5 females to the male, not to talk of Nigeria where there has been relative peace for 37 years. I am lifting the following directly from Wikipedia:

The natural sex ratio at conception is estimated close to 1.05 males/female (this is related to the weight ratio of X to Y chromosomes). Due to the universally higher life expectancy of females, sex ratio tends to even out in adult population, and result in an excess of females among the elderly (e.g., the male to female ratio falls from 1.05 for the group aged 15 to 65 to 0.70 for the group over 65 in Germany, from 1.00 to 0.72 in the USA, from 1.06 to 0.91 in mainland China and from 1.07 to 1.02 in India).

Even in the absence of sex selection practices, a range of "normal" sex ratios at birth of between 103 to 107 boys per 100 girls has been observed in different societies, and among different ethnic and racial groups within a given society. Darwin, in his The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex, cites a sex ratio of 120 boys to 100 girls for Jewish communities in 19th century Livonia, where infanticide is not historically documented, and the means for pre-natal sex determination did not exist. Still, more extreme ratios documented in some populations should be attributed rather more to cultural preferences than to biological variation in the propensity to bear boys or girls.

In the United States, the sex ratios at birth over the period 1970-2002 were 105 for the white non-Hispanic population, 104 for Mexican Americans, 103 for African Americans and Indians, and 107 for mothers of Chinese or Filipino ethnicity.[2] Among European countries ca. 2001, the ratios ranged between 104 in Belgium and 107 in Portugal. In the aggregated results of 56 Demographic and Health Surveys[1] in African countries, the ratio is 103, though there is also considerable country-to-country variation.[3]

Need I say more on that?


Resource control

At the end of the day though, this whole hullabaloo is about one thing: oil revenues.

There is an excellent article about is on Grandiose Parlour, and I will lift some of the relevant points because I think Imnakoya is finally beginning to come to terms with what I have been saying for a long time now:

* The total population of Bayelsa state is 1,703,358; it’s the least populated in the nation.

* Bayelsa received 5,325,414,955.84 (Naira) in May 2004 from federal account (PDF document); the second highest in the nation. This works out to 3,126.42 Naira per citizen . The highest allocation-per-citizen ratio* in the country And this is just from federal account, the figure doesn’t include locally generated revenue.

Once again I would repeat my rant that the people in the Niger Delta have (at least in my opinion) made the transition from being victims to being perpetrators. What for example do Chinese telecom workers have to do with the Niger-Delta 'struggle'? Why can't they channel their anger to the people who are raping them? Will increasing the population of Rivers State (and as a result its Federal allocation) prevent Odili from carrying on? Do I need to say more on this Delta thing? Time will definitely prove me right.


Conclusion

Sadly this whole furore just goes to show one thing. Despite the attempts to remove the parts of previous questionnaires which 'put fuel in the fire', and despite the fact that at the end of the day, the census is what it was, a huge joke, our people are intent on seeking out ways to pursue their own selfish agendas. The same apathy that was shown during the conduct of the census in some parts has already manifested in the voters registration exercise. I foresee Nigeria developing along Indian lines, and it is not what I want, but it is what will happen. Let's make no mistakes, our country has too much potential to remain prostrate for much longer, but at the same time there is too much lethargy amongst the populace.

Nigerians are once again showing an unwillingness to look at other means of generating revenue. Everyone just wants to go to Abuja to partake in the 'national cake'. And that is a tragedy.