Thursday, October 26, 2006

Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala's Interview

Thanks to Nkem for this link. I just watched the interview during my break instead of having lunch (Nkem I will have your head for that), and I must say my respect for the lady has grown. I will make a full report after classes today.

Christians!


O brother! No Muslims to attack so 'Christians' do what they do best, and turn on each other...

Read more here

Juve watch

Alex is set for a new deal, and I'm outta here.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Fighting 419



My best part of that video: 'He is impersonating EFCC!' Na wa for these boys o...

Back to class, next lecturer just walked in.

Police comments

Just had to share this one. Off to class now. Talk to y'all later...

Police comment transcripts
=============================
The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car
videos around the country:

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth cer-
tificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you
didn't know, that¹s the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired
from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that
means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift su-
pervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do
that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you
are drunk or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where
you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey
poop."

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have
quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we
want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC/NCIC."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal
friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your
bail."

And ... THE BEST ONE

#1 " You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right,
we don't - Sign here."

Juve watch

http://www.channel4.com/sport/football_italia/oct24g.html

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Gods, Generals and Garrison Commanders

Have to keep repping Oria. The sucker writes very well, and this one cracked me up. I'm republishing it sans permission...

Watching recent events in Ekiti State, one cannot help but wonder if the principal actors are flesh and blood mortals like the rest of us. For, with each passing day, they act with more flamboyance and arrogance than any of the characters that graced the court of Zeus at Mount Olympus.

Governor Fayose had his bases covered initailly- his good friend was the CJ, he had friends ready to be empanelled to "investigate" him, and the allegations would be rubbished. True to form, the first panel, returned a verdict of not guilty with a speed that would make Superman slink off in shame muttering, "Speeding bullet Okereke-Onyiuke's ass." (And believe me, my friends, that is some ass!)

But before the Governor could return to his office in truimph, an enraged Speaker had tossed the CJ out on his ear and installed a new one, who set up a new panel to hear the allegations. This time, the panel returned a verdict of guilty on all charges with such alacrity that it erased the record set scant days earlier. Fayose and his deputy were declared impeached, and the Speaker sworn in as Acting Governor. If there was some way to harness whatever energy they're using in the Ekiti State House of Assembly, Nigeria could yet win the Space Race. (Minister of Science and Technology, are you listening?)

With the tables turned on him, Fayose pulled a Houdini. Some claimed he was in Ghana, others said he was in London. Of these claims, the latter was the most easily discounted for as our elders say, "When the lizard in front falls into a pit, those behind take caution." And, given the wide berth our governors have been giving London since the travails of Alams, it would appear we all have the same elders.

Anyway, some said Fayose would soon reveal himself to the "shame" of his enemies. And soon, he did. The man issued a statement that he was still the governor, and was on vacation (in hiding), and his deputy would take over until his return. She soon marched on Government House, and entered her office, and had photos taken to show that she still "dey kamkpe".

Well, seeing as matters had gotten out of hand, Baba decided to step in with his cure for all manner of civil unrest - a declaration of a State of Emergency in Ekiti state, since in the words of PDP Chairman Ahmadu Alli, Ado-Ekiti is a "garrison t..." Sorry, that's Ibadan. Ah what the hell, they're both in the South-West, abi? Anyway, the troops have moved in to restore calm, and preserve law and order, and so on and so forth. Fayose is still nowhere to be found, and with the EFCC reportedly actively looking for his hide, I would suggest he stays wherever he is.

At this point I would like to make a suggestion for Baba. Perhaps Baba should create a special "State of Emergency" Battalion or Division within the Army. Baba could ensure that the Commander is rotated out while the men remain the same or vice versa. This way, when next Baba declares a state of emergency anywhere in Nigeria, we all could rest assured that the men in charge have the requisite experience in governing bloody civilians, and altercations will be kept to the bare minimum. This is especially important since Baba made short work of all officers with "political experience" he met within the Armed Forces when he took charge in 1999.

Like I said, it's just a suggestion

Monday, October 23, 2006

The Departed (You must watch this film!)

Myself and Texazz watched the movie yesterday. All I can say is damn! What an incredible movie. Definitely worth all the hype...

The story (I just have to spoil it for you guys >) :

The film began "some years ago" with Jack Nicholson talking a little about 'himself'. Touched a little on the disrespect that the Italian and Irish gangs feel for the niggers in their neighbourhoods. Loved that point where he said: "the niggers don't know that no one hands it to you, you have to take it," (couldn't agree with him more) or something along those lines. That beginning (with all its grainy images which gave it a 70s look, served as the background to show us where Matt Damon's loyalty came from. I think the people who were shot by the sea are Leo di Caprio's uncle and someone else.

The film moves to now, with Damon’s entrance into the Police. Nicholson planted him there to be his 'eyes and ears' in the police. NIcholson also smooths the way for the lad who gets record promotions. Meanwhile we are introduced to Leo di Caprio, a who is hot-tempered youth with a bad family, he also joined the police, but as a sign of wanting to break from the family. Di Caprio is asked by his boss (Martin Sheen, this film had an all star cast!) and Mark Wahlberg to infiltrate Nicholson's outfit. He accepts the offer, and is fired' from the police and spends time in prison. All this is to make him attractive to the mob. When he is released, he immediately starts selling drugs with his idiot cousin to continue his slow infiltration to the mob. After is involved in a fight with some rivals to Nicholson, he is in. NIcholson and another guy toture him to find out if he is a policeman, but he passes the test and they recruit him.

Meanwhile, Damon rises vry fast in the police and soon becomes deputy to Alec Baldwin(!), where he is very connected and able to give NIcholson lots of information. The only information he doesn’t have access to (because of Sheen and Wahlberg) is what his oga wants the most, that is whether or not there is a police informant in the mob. During this time, he meets a psychiatrist who works with both police and thief nd they start going out. Incidentally, the girl has di Caprio as a patient as well. Obviously, she starts feeling something for him too.

Both di Caprio and Damon become torn between their allegiances to either side, and soon things come to a head. Traitors are flushed out and guess what: everyone dies.

Bobs, it was a shock when that bullet entered di Caprio's head. I could watch that film over and over again. Would like to watch it this night again, but school tomorrow, so no show. But trust me, a great film worth all the hype!


Juve watch


For all the talk linking him to Che£$ky just because Cech got conkered, Gigi says that he'll remain with us until the end of the season at the very least...




That is the current Serie A table. So let me borrow a little from Ade Adene and rant at Inter:

Inter are a wicked team.Not only have they robbed Adriano of his magic,they have robbed him of his mind!!
If they end this season with no silverware-after having all "obstacles" taken out of their way by the FIGC,they should be banned from world football for epitomizing ineptitude!!!
No Juve,no Moggi,No Milan?pray tell us shitface Massimo,what will b your excuse this time around?

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Children in Britain (Preview)

This was just a report on Sky News. Would comment on it later on (hope I remember)...




Football Manager

I just got my own copy, and after giving it a test run on my machine (Acer Aspire 1640z running Windows XP within a VMWare environment under Ubuntu 6.10), I fear I may become hooked. This game na die. Any comments?

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Nigeria a laughing stock?

Some illiterates put up a YouTube video which they think was funny.

While Texazzpete who is beside me feels like entering the video and beating the crap out of the idiots, I look at them with a lot of pity. They are obviously ignorant and not worth our time. I think the best thign we can do for them is to spread the 'good news' of this video. The effect of that won't be felt now, but in another 29 years when one of the whiteys in there wants to run for office, or when the Uncle Tom in the NY cap wants to come home (or has kids) and someone brings this up. Wonder what he'll say then...

In the meantime, Oria seems to have started blogging more regularly, so I might soon be taking a bow from the political stage to concentrate on more technical matters (and Juve of course). Fat chance of that happening...

He just put in an excellent post concerning Nigeria's national unity.

Songbird

New media player for Linux (and as do most Linux software has a Window$ version) which from the initial tests is excellent. Even Texazz is impressed and seems keen on ditching his Window$ Media Center...

I'll give a full report only after I've put it through some serious stress testing...


Juve watch

Our inexorable march back to where we belong continued this evening with the defeat of Triestine. DD however says he wasn't too happy with the performance of the players, especially as Giorgio Chiellini got himself sent off...

However, I'd like to let DD know that toeing Crapello's line of fielding the same eleven game in game out is not the best option for all.

Forza Juve.

Tagged!

A fad that has been oscillating around blogosphere in recent times. Desola just tagged me (am I late?) so I guess I have to return the favour...

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. Electrical Engineer, Flour Mills of Nigeria
2. Computer Engineer, Gateway Bank of Nigeria
3. Network Engineer, MicroAccess, Nigeria
4. Network Engineer, Itex, Nigeria

FOUR JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. Footballer
2. An Actor
3. A priest!
4. A Politician

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. The Godfather
2. The Rock
3. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
4. The Sound Of Music

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Benin City, Nigeria
2. Abuja, Nigeria
3. Lagos, Nigeria
4. Umuahia, Nigeria

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. UEFA Champions League
2. Italian Serie A (B nowadays)
3. La Primera Liga
4. Little Miss Jocelyn

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO
1. Freetown, Sierra Leone
2. Monrovia, Liberia
3. Beirut, Lebanon
4. Onitsha, Nigeria

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. Juventuz
2. Bloglines
3. Nairaland
4. Middlesex University

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Oskapa na dodo na anu
2. Ji na ofe nsala
3. Indomie
4. Bread with any other thing to make it interesting (I sabi lazy well well)

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Ground rice (a piss-poor replacement for pounded yam)
2. Fish and chips (even the smell is beginning to get on my nerves)
3. Ogbono (the thing gives me goose bumps)
4. Chinese food

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
Refer to the list above

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. My bed
2. My reading table
3. The heater (winter is coming...!)
4. My rosary

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
Can't think

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Singlet
2. Pant
3. Socks
4. Nothing else

ONE PLACE I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1.Naija

ONE FICTIONAL PLACE I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. A Naija where NEPA works

FOUR PEOPLE YOU’D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
1. George Bush
2. Mahmoud Ahmedinajab (wonder if he'd understand me)
3. Jay-Jay Okocha
4. Ebitu Ukiwe

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1.Money (I'm Igbo, what do you expect?)

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS/PEOPLE
This one is potentially risky, so I'd stick with the one object of hatred: Francis Arthur Nzeribe!

FOUR PEOPLE YOU TAG
Chippla
Jeremy
Oria
Tochukwu

Thursday, October 19, 2006

That we may not forget: Who killed Dele Giwa?

Dele Giwa was the editor and founder of Newswatch magazine (along with Ray Ekpu, Yakubu Mohammed and Dan Agbese). He was killed by a letter bomb in his home on October 19, 1986. Sadly, it looks like Newswatch is no more.

Today makes it exactly 20 years since his murder, and the killers have never been found. The Nigerian coat of arms was on the outside of the package that did the damage according to reports.

It was a shock to all (or do I say almost all?) Nigerians; a new dimension into killing in Nigeria had just been launched. The reason that his killers haven't been found is clear, and we all know it. The government of the day killed him. Which government? What do we mean by government? Not you, not me. We know that Nigerian government does not necesarily involve the people (although I would also hold the people as culpable for the fact that till this day we have rubbish as our government), the government could be personified in the leader, so when we say government (in 1986), we mean, Ibrahim Babangida, who wants to return to Aso Rock!

It is clear that no individual in Nigeria at the time had access to the kind of technology was used to kill Dele Giwa except the military. According to Giwa's lawyer, Gani Fawenhimi, Giwa had received a call from Halilu Akilu (who was then DG SSS) that morning to confirm if he was in. The story goes on to say that he had information on Gloria Okon. Gloria Okon had been arrested by the Buhari/Idiagbon government for drug trafficking two years earlier, and had died in detention of food poisoning. Who killed Gloria? Investigations were still on when Buhari was toppled. It was rumored that Giwa had information on what actually happened to Gloria Okon, and who was involved. The rumors persist until this day, that Giwa's information implicated the wife of Babangida in the drugs trade with Ms. Okon.

Fast forward to 2001, IBB refused to testify before the Oputa panel about the Giwa murder. No one has been brought to justice for the crime, and now twenty years later, I make bold to say that the Giwa murder has been well and truly swept under the carpet.

Juve watch

So we can officially net Valerij for $ 4 million according to Fiorentina. That is excellent news. For me, the boy has a lot more talent than both Wayne Rooney and Theo Walcott. Problem is that he comes from the wrong country, so there is no hype about him. Having him in the team permanently is wonderful, and an added bonus: he is humble, unlike a certain Interista...

Forza Juve.

Is Linux any good?

I received an email from Emuchay this morning. Now, Emuchay is one damned good network guy. If there is any one (of those that I know of course) that I would freely admit to being as good as, or better than I am, he would be on that list. Along with Femi and Tokunbo at Interswitch, then Julius and Afolabi at MicroAccess. The problem with the names I mentioned (except Julius) is that they are still stuck with Micro$oft Window$. Julius, was actually the one who set me along the path to freedom, Linux!

One more thing, as concerns the security issue, IE7 was officially released was it yesterday, and now there is already an issue! Window$ is only good for games. Quote me anywhere!

Now, Emuchay's mail went thus:

Chxta
Lets just say I decide on a whim to install Linx on my system to see what its actually got, which variant of linux would you advise I start up with. I for one never believe in solving easy problems through difficult processes and thaats the way i see linux. Maybe my views are somewhat whacked but then I'm yet to be convinced otherwise. Facny going thru all these scripts and stress just to get sound on your system! (Damn, just click istall and thats it!) In windows things like that are just taken for granted. There really has to be something worth while that will make me want to leave windows for linux. Yes its not as prone to virus as windows (dont forget we still have something called anti viruses), yes its more resilient and does not crash as much as windows (funny enough I ve nevr had a windows system crash on me). I quite agree, but these features makes it a perfect OS to install on my servers and not on my personal work station!
So mate, I'm ready to be converted, you just go ahead and convince me. Why Linux?

I am about to answer that, but I'd like y'all to take note of the reply of my biggest detractor in this particular 'battle'. Funny that this particular detractor also happens to be my closest friend, Texazz. He said:

the truth is, he has no convincing argument. linux is ust for those masochistic rascals who just like to wade thru the most difficult way to solve problems. Yes, it's more stable than windows and it's relatively safe from viruses, but that's neither here nor there. a conscentious (did i spell that well?) Windows user will have backed up and installed the latest virus updates.
cheta will tell you all about various 'innovative' features and applications on linux, but all are clear imitations and facsimiles of software long ago available on the mac and windows.
not to mention that its ease of use is abysmal, most linux distros i've seen look ugly and crappy and for an OS designed to wean us off microsoft, no attempt is made to ensure some aspect of continuity, to flatten the steep learning curve.
yes, linux is stable and virus free. so is Apple OS, which has 10000x the beauty.
if linux is so good, why so much effort placed in windows emulatoin through virtual OS drives? Why the lack of documentation?
Linux is good only for small devices, handhelds, ipods and other small stuff. finito!

Well, for those who have made it thus fat, here is my response (which we will keep non-technical):

· Open source: If you develop software that requires knowledge or modification of the operating system code, Linux’s source code is at your fingertips. Hell, you could customise all your software to suit your own needs if you are so inclines.

· Security: Linux is one of the most secure operating systems. “Walls” and flexible file access permission systems prevent access by unwanted visitors or viruses. Mooch, as a network administrator, this should be one of your major concerns.

· Stability: Linux doesn’t need to be rebooted periodically to maintain performance levels. It doesn’t freeze up or slow down over time due to memory leaks and such. Continuous up-times of hundreds of days (up to a year or more) are not uncommon. Once again Mooch, I believe that the servers in your side of work which never require a periodic reboot (which implies buying a backup server) are Linux servers.

· Performance: Linux provides persistent high performance on workstations and on networks. It can handle unusually large numbers of users simultaneously.

· Network friendliness: Linux was developed by a group of programmers, Linus Thorvald being the most famous, over the Internet, in various countries. As a result, it has strong support for network functionality; client and server systems can be easily set up on any computer running Linux. It can perform tasks such as network backups faster and more reliably than alternative systems.

· Flexibility: Linux can be used for high performance server applications, desktop applications, and embedded systems. You can save disk space by only installing the components needed for a particular use. You can restrict the use of specific computers by installing for example only selected office applications instead of the whole suite.

· Compatibility: It runs ALL common Unix software packages and can process all common file formats.

· Fast and easy installation: Most Linux distributions come with user-friendly installation and setup programs. Try the Ubuntu Dapper install for size. You could be doing other stuff as you are installing!

· Full use of hard disk: Linux continues work well even when the hard disk is almost full. Ext3 has proved to be a better file system than NTFS, and the new Refiser is awesome!

· Multitasking: Linux is designed to do many things at the same time; e.g., a large printing job in the background won’t slow down your other work.

· Low cost: This one appeals to me as an Igbo dude :D. You don’t need to spend time and money to obtain licenses since Linux and much of its software come with the GNU General Public License. You can start to work immediately without worrying that your software may stop working anytime because the free trial version expires.

So, Mooch, does that answer you?

Texazz, if you are looking for beauty, try KDE, Fluxbox and IceWM. They are called X-Window managers.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Ubuntu rocks!

I knew that the open source community can't fail me, and they never do. Sound problem solved, and an up to speed distro to the bargain.

What I did?

In my terminal, I ran: gksu “update-manager -c -d”

Waited for 28 minutes while it upgraded the distro, and voila. I'm runnning Ubuntu 6.10 Edgy Eft with crystal clear sound!

Off to read no after all this excitement. Texazz came in safe and sound. Currently beside me keeping true to himself and beefing Linux.

For the support I have to thank The HowTo Geek.

Warning: This process works only if you have a fast internet connection. If not, order for Edgy from Ubuntu.com.

Going up...

As I predicted in my last post, Treviso duly surrendered the points to us yesterday. But not without some resistance.

Cristiano Zanetti grabbed his first goal for the club to take us to minus one point in the standings. Treviso started the game brightly as we took our time to settle. However, once we found our feet we dominated the rest of the first half. Alex, still searching for his 200th club goal, found the back of the net but it was ruled out for offside. He then should have scored for real when he was one on one with Avramov, yet the keeper did well to deny him. Juve did take the lead though soon after when Camo’s cross was met by Zanetti in minute 38. The half ended with Russotto and Camo exchanging shots.

They started the second half well, but an inspired Gigi kept out efforts from Vascak, Viali and Fava. And as the tie went on, we had a Trez strike disallowed then played down the clock and almost doubled our lead late on with Trez and an Alex chip.

We are finally off the foot of the Serie B table as everyone knew we would be sooner rather than later, but the climb comes a game late in my opinion. We really should have won that first game at Rimini. Nothing spoil sha. Forza Juve!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Sorrow, Tears and Blood

11 days ago Nkem unwittingly echoed the words of the great Fela Anikulapo-Kuti when he wrote this article concerning the apparent laziness of the Nigerian.

Had he still been around this den of iniquity called earth, abami eda would have turned 69 today. I want to wish him a happy birthday, post humuosly of course. Like him or not, and we admit that in terms of his personal life Fela wasn't exactly a shining example for our youth, Fela made a lot of sense in his songs.

For me, my best Fela song for some reason remains Sorrow, Tears and Blood:

Everybody run run run
Everybody scatter scatter
Some people lost some bread
Some one nearly die
Some one just die
Police dey come, Army dey come
Confusion everywhere...

Seven minutes later
All done cool down,
brotherPolice don go away
Army don disappear

Dem leave Sorrow, Tears, and Blood
Dem regular trade mark

My people self dey fear too much

Dem fear for the thing we no see
Dem fear for the air around us
We fear to fight for freedom
We fear to fight for liberty
We fear to fight for justice
We fear to fight for happiness
We always get reason to fear...

We no want die
We no want quench
Mama dey for house

Papa dey for house
I get one wife
I get one car
I get one house
I just build house
I wan enjoy...

So policeman go slap your face
You no go talk...
Army man go whip your yansh
You go dey look like donkey...

Rhodesia dey do dem own
Our leaders dey yab for nothing
South Africa dey do dem own

Dem leave Sorrow, Tears, and Blood
Dem regular trade mark

Need I say more?

Juve watch returns in the next installment. Insh'Allah by then Treviso would be preparing to surrender the points they owe us from last season. Forza Juve!

Sound issues for Ubuntu with an Acer

I've been awake beyond the time when other 'normal' humans are asleep. Reason, I installed Ubuntu Linux on an Acer Aspire 1640z fo someone. Problem is, try as I could there was this issue of sound. I tried everything I knew, but to no avail. Reminded me of those days before Windows XP almost solved all driver issues (hey, even there are still some hardware that need CDs to run in XP).

Eventually, and with the help of the good people at Ubuntu Forums the end of the problem looks to be in sight.

Let's get a little technical here...

The Linux kernel sends sound to the sound card, by using the appropriate sound driver (like in Windows of course). A long time ago, the system which allowed to do that was OSS. Many drivers have been developed for OSS. Applications thus use the OSS interface to send sound to the driver.

OSS is not technically perfect, so a better system has been developed, namely ALSA. As a consequence, programs making use of sound have to be rewritten in order to be able to use ALSA instead of OSS. That's why, for example, xmms has an OSS plugin and an ALSA plugin. (The output plugin can be chosen in xmms, in options -> preferences).
Nevertheless, for older applications to go on working, a compatibility layer exists in ALSA. It ensures OSS applications believe they do use OSS while they actually use ALSA (as for example the flash plugin). Unfortunately, some hardware vendors still do not support ALSA, so it is up to the good men in the FOSS community to create their own 'hacks' of the Windows sound drivers (or whtever other driver), which as in the case of this system I was working on, may not work.


Eventually I had to go to the terminal (apologies to Texazz) and install the kernel headers on my new install.

$ sudo apt-get install linux-headers-686
You must have the kernel headers package installed on the system and then you have to download the alsa-driver-1.0.13rc2.tar.bz2 unpack it and just do the following:


$ cd /your directory/alsa-driver-1.0.13rc2
$ ./configure
$ make
$ sudo make install
Then reboot the system.
That's it!

Edit (1205 hours the next day):

I've been awake for a grand total of somewhere approaching 72 hours, eyes all puffy (all pun intended), and the problem is still no closer to being solved!

Then I decided to try something. I installed Windows on said laptop. Guess what? Issues with sound as well.

Difference: on Acer's site there is a page where you can download the drivers for the sound card. Uncle Bill and co really have cornered the market. Na dem know sha. Dis thing must work!

I guess I'll go and catch some sleep now before heading to Heathrow. Texazz's coming visiting...

Friday, October 13, 2006

Chxta vs Bola

The weather seems to be getting warmer around here, and Chxta actually hasn't had to wear the usual combination of singlet, shirt, shirt, cardigan, coat for about two or three days now. Nowadays it is more like singlet, shirt and cardigan!

Could the new found heat be down to global warming? Or could it be a more sinister reason like Chxta beginning to generate Chxta's own internal heat? You see, according to a Bola Gbolahan, Chxta's space in the fires of hell is reserved. This assertation was contained in a lenghty email which was sent in reply to the 'offending' article Chxta wrote just a few days ago. Said article also happened to generate the longest number of comments this little space of Chxta's has seen thus far as people trooped out from far and wide to defend their poor little defenceless God!

Mind you, the bulk of the article was about a black white supremacist, and most respondents simply failed to note that minor fact. They had to defend God!

The passion and energy that Nigerians (humans generally it has to be said) put into the defense of this God is commendable. No wonder the longest running wars in history have all been religous in nature.

Back to topic, and the questions that Idaku raised in his comment are worth examining:

1) does God need men to defend Him?
2) do men need to kill/maim/shout other men in otherto prove their devotion to thier God?

The answer to both questions in Chxta's humble (and sometimes not so accurate) opinion is a resounding NO.

If Nigerians devote just a fraction of the energy that we use to defend God and attack other humans in carrying out that defence, Nigeria would be a heaven on earth. We have the weather, we have the brains, we have the population, we have the resources both human and material, what else do we need?


Bola Gbolahan

Chxta has been rubbing Chxta's hands in anticipation at having someone to feel the sharp end of Chxta's tongue. You see, Chxta has been a rather well behaved boy for a wee bit of a while, and was beginning to fell the pinch. Chxta would have published the email for the world to see just how a 'Christian' was tolerant of other opinions, but the truth is this: should Chxta publish said email with all the insults which were directed not just at Chxta, but also at Chxta's family, the Catholic Church, Muslims and the Prophet Muhammed (SAW), there'd be [snip... Chxta's lawyer], so there is no point. At the same time, the mail was so damned long (I wish I could write that kind of length), that should Chxta copy it here, the good fellows at blogger would more likely than not close Chxta's World, which we don't want do we?

Now, let Chxta give you some of the general gist (and responses) as we go along. Note that the mail was laced with a fair amount of Bible verses in order to prove Bola's point...

First, he called Chxta an unbeliever and blasphemer and quoted Matthew 7:22-23 to support his claim.

Chxta's response to that one Bola, read Matthew 7:1-2.

He then proceeded to imply that Chxta didn't fear God and he quoted Psalm 2:11 to support that assertation.

Response: Mark 15:34. Even Jesus Christ himself at a point expressed despair.

After some others which were minor, so can be ignored, Bola then proceeded to throw Deuteronomy 28:18-47 at Chxta!

Guy, what did Chxta do to you to deserve that particular one?

You see, Chxta and Bola haven't even met.

Chxta runs a little mailing list (started about a year back) in which Chxta posts vacancies (and the occasional article) to people who might be unable to access them otherwise. You see, information has a way of finding its way to Chxta, so Chxta shares what Chxta deems to be needed by not a few people out there. As time has gone on, this mailing list has expanded, and Chxta has added people whom Chxta doesn't know to it based on requests made by friends of theirs. Bola Gbolahan was one such person who was added based on the request of Bode Oladipo his friend whom Chxta knows personally. For Chxta this is the ultimate form of ingratitude and it still makes Chxta shudder. Na wa for some people!

After he had finished 'dealing' with Chxta the infidel. He turned his attention towards the fact that Chxta is a Catholic...

Chxta accepts that the Church has made her own mistakes in the course of her 2000 year history. But in those 2000 years Bola, Matthew 16:18 has thus far held true. For your information, it is not about the fact that Pope Alex IV had kids, but about the fact that at the end of it all, the Church is still standing. Chxta doesn't agree with everything the Church teaches (for example the doctrine of Original Sin, and the use of condoms), and Chxta has reasons which Chxta presents in a logical manner. Chxta doesn't just stand in the congregation every Sunday (or whenever else you go to church) and swallow what Pastor [crackle---static---interference---crackle] dishes out to Chxta.

He then proceeded to brand all Muslims and the prophet as ignorant terrorists who spread an outdated mode of living. Now that was rich. Chxta doesn't really understand what 'outdated mode of living' means since all religions (except capitalism of course) preach basically the same mode of living. Last time Chxta checked for example, the Amish are Christians.

Please note that Chxta won't print all that he said for reasons Chxta stated before.

Bola, if you have anything in that brain-washed cranium of yours, then you would know that while your 'Christian' forebears were so busy fighting and burning themselves up in an era so quaintly known as the dark ages, that it was Muslim scholars especially in Constantinople and Baghdad that preserved all the works and laws of the ancient Persian, Greek and Roman civilizations. Were it not for these men whom you've labelled as ignorant, you'd more than likely still be living on trees. Also note that Christianity was spread with a lot more violence than Islam. If you doubt me, go and dig up your great grandfather and ask him how he became a Christian.

By the way, since you specialise in quoting Bible verses singly and out of context simply to support your demented point of view, try Matthew 11:12 for size and tell me what it reads.

Arsehole!


Friday the 13th

Today na today!

Okay, my day started as usual at 0500 when I climbed out of bed, walked to the kitchen and made a cup of hot tea. Then I turned on the radio to find out what this sick world has been up to...

At 0530, I settled down to revise what Prof. Comley dished out to us yesterday. The man is a guru in networking, and talks exactly like Gary Bloom.

At 0724, my phone rang. My sister from Naija. Tells me that my ex-girlfriend F had materialised 'out of the blue' with a claim that I promised to marry her, and that she wants to move in with her sister-in-law. God damn!

I remember very clearly the day this young lady broke up with me. 12 March 2000! I enter my room, and she was there waiting for me. See, I had just returned to Benin from a three month holiday. The frst thing she said back then was: 'Chxta, this can't work. It is over.'

I was devastated at the time because then she meant the world to me. But hey, life went on and I have had 3 serious girlfriends since then. And truth be told, I have maintained contact with all of them (including her) even though the manner in which I was dumped by one of them (that one made me take a long break from relationships then found U almost 2 years later) almost drove me bonkers. So for her to suddenly turn up in this manner is scary.

The last time we spoke was when myself and U were on our way to Silverbird. My phone rang and she rained abuses at me for 'blocking her chance of progress in life'. Where that came from, I have no idea. I apologised, for whatever I had done and cut the call. Then explained myself to U. She called to apologise some weeks later. I made it a point of duty though to inform Texazz and Oria (he's my lawyer afterall), now this!

Texazz says she's not too well, Oria put it jokingly: Chxta marries F, sorry, F HOOKS Chxta. Na wa for the man o. I've spent £12 today on phone calls to sort it out, Texazz has called my sis to assure her that I'm not a cheating bastard. Now the question is: How do I tell U? Aside from the fact that this isn't an easy story to tell when you consider that I have to do it over a phone, U was bereaved recently. So it'd be a tard insensitive to bring this 'trivial' issue up...

Also today, some idiot wrote a petition against our lecturer in Wireless Networking. Part of the petition went: He is teaching irrelevant stuff. Security should be a course on its own, not a part of Wireless...

The petition was unsigned.

What a moron! How can you set up a wireless network without some form of security? Imagine people being able to make free calls on the MTN network. Kai! If someone like Orobo from the days back in UNIBEN were our lecturer, this anonymous tip which was addressed to the faculty board would have resulted in almost all of us failing the exams. I wish I could lay my hands on that idiot...

One more thing, pray for me. If F is bonkers as Texazz says, I need all the help and prayers I can get.


Iraq

Someone is finally admitting what we all know.


Juve watch.

I tire no be say I lazy. Can't start trying to translate from Italian. Anyways, the appeal hearing started yesterday and the points deficit could be shaved off.

I apologise.

For the statement that has caused so much controversy (92 emails in my box!). I hereby retract and recant my atheistic beliefs. Can I have my peace now?

But there is still the issue of the guy who sent me an email condemning me to hell. I have an assigment to work on, so Bola Gbolahan have patience, I'm coming for you. And it will be neanderthal...

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Russia is spying on Naija!

Looks like the Russkies are spying everywhere. Georgia, the UK, the US, now in Naija. Wow. I wonder who actually caught them...

Juve watch

Saadi Al Gheddafi says he’s ready to significantly increase his stake in the club. Bring in the cash boy, we aren't complaining...

Napoli and Genoa have hit out at the possibility of seeing us having our 17-point Calciopoli punishment reduced. What are they afraid of? If you are really that good, prove it on the field (like Inter are doing so well in Serie A...). Anyways their chairman has already said it all: 'De Laurentis also questioned whether the Turin giants really needed a fresh boost after dropping just two points from their first five games.

“With such a march they will finish at the top of the League anyway,” said the man who rescued the Azzurri from bankruptcy two years ago.'

Sorry guys, we are getting the points reduction. Fair being fair we weren't even given a fair hearing in the first place. Maybe I should just add Napoli to my laugh list like Inter...

God!

I had a rather interesting stint with B (motorola mouth) the Ghanaboy in my class yesterday that ended up with me dong something totally alien (I mean, I haven't done it in decades). I walked away from a potential conflict!

Can you believe that? Chxta saw an opportunity to fight (not necessarily physical combat) with someone and he cowed? There is hope for the world afterall.

Anyways, what necessiated my action was the earlier part of our conversation. You see, I was in the library trying to remember my binary to hexadecimal conversions (I thought I was through with the damned thing in SS3!), when he strutted up to me and struck up a conversation. At that point I decided to try and be open minded and hear the guy out. You see, from day one, the fact that he is always talking (even during lectures) had put me off, but in life, you never know where you'd strike gold, so give him a chance I said to myself. The end result? I'd probably never talk to him for the rest of my natural life.


See, he comes to me and (after the greetings) begins like: 'So is school here better than it is in Africa?'
I'm like: 'The continent's Africa, I come from Nigeria. As a Ghanaian you shouldn't be subscribing to that bullshit.'
And he goes: 'I ain't from Ghana or some shithole like that, I's from England.'
And I'm like: 'O. Where were you born?'
And he goes: 'Right here in London.'

At this point, I'll cease calling him a Ghanaian, because as y'all know, I believe that a person comes from where he started life, that is from where he was born. Therefore:
Substitution:
OUT: Ghana
IN: England


So I reply: 'O, I'm sorry, I noticed you filled in the name B... in one of our attendance sheets, so I naturally assumed that you were from Ghana.'
And he goes: 'Shucks, that ain't so cool innit. Never liked the name, but my dad gave it to me so I guess I'm stuck with it.'
And I go: 'I guess you are...'

At this point some Muslim dude walks up to us and offers each of us an invitation to the breaking of the Ramadan fast on Friday. See, during this Ramadan month the Muslims in school have been holding a series of seminars under the title of Why Are More People converting to Islam. Personally, I think they are wasting time. Much the same thing I said about any 'Crusade' back in my UNIBEN days. All these religous nuts...
While I politely take the invite (which I know I won't honour anyway), B turns his back to the boy (an icy cold shoulder if you ask me), and doesn't say a word (that silence was strange). I noticed, but I didn't comment, afterall, I know a lot of people back home that would do much worse to a Muslim invitation.


After Muslim boy has gone, he asks the question again: 'So is school here better than it is in Africa?'
And I reply: 'This school is of a higher standard than what I went through in Nigeria.'
There is this strange look of satisfaction on his face, and the next thing that comes out of his mouth almost makes me fall out of my seat: 'I always knew that the whiteman in superior to the blackman.'
I go: 'What makes you say that?'
He says: 'Do you know your history?'
Inwardly I smile. Now that is one subject in which he has unknowingly decided to cross swords with a star, so I reply: 'A little, why do you ask?'
And he goes: 'Learn your history man, take as an example the British Empire lasted over 500 years, built by whites. Or is it the Roman, or the Persian? They were all white.'

Obviously this guy hasn't heard of Ewuare, or Dinga Cisse, or Chaka, or Uthman dan Fodio. At this point I decide to digress a little, so I would attack him from a point he would not be expecting, so I go: 'So you are from England?'
And he goes: 'Yeah.'
So I ask: 'Ever been to Ghana?'
He says: 'No.'
I ask: 'Ever been to Africa?'
He goes: 'Hell no!'

I'm a little pissed at that vehement reply, the implication of which is that his knowledge of my continent is restricted to what the BBC and Sky tell him. Maybe I should try and be fair and throw in whatever story his dad may have told him as a child. But for me, the fact that he has never been to Africa means that his point of view is already a little mypoic, so I try to see how wide his scope really is.

I ask: 'Ever been outside the UK?'
He replies: 'Only once, to France.'

Having gotten that information, I then test the waters a little, I ask about Robespierre, and he happily delves into a five minute talk about the life and times of Max Robespierre, which is quite impressive. This guy knows his European onions I must admit, so I decide to ask about Chaka Zulu, to which he answers just as impressively. At the point of dan Fodio however, he falls way short, so I decide to begin a lecture which I intend to encompass all the legendary empires of the West African region. But that was not to be.

Just as I started talking about Uthman dan Fodio, a Libyan guy, T, who is studying for his MSc in Network Management (which means he takes some courses with us), walks up to us to ask some questions. When T comes, B walks away (he has been standing all this while), and doesn't return until T has left.

He returns with this comment: 'Thank goodness that Arab has left.'
I turn to him sharply and ask: 'What does that mean?'
And he goes: 'You'd better be careful around those Arabs.'

I almost shout. To be honest, shouting in my school's library at 1300 wouldn't be too out of place, most of the undergrads here are damned indisciplined, and the best time to read there is either in the morning or in the evening. Anyways, back to topic. I was utterly stunned by B's statement. What the fuck! This is someone who was bred and buttered in Britain, a blackman. Who must have suffered discrimination. Now he isn't at the receiving end of the stick he turns around to dish it out to someone else? How does he feel when he enters a train and white people hold on to their bags like he's a thief? How does he feel when he walks into a park (and he is as bearded as Soyinka too), and white people there give him space like he came there to maim, pillage and plunder? What the fuck!!!

I take a deep breath, then ask him: 'Why should I be careful around those Arabs?'
And he goes: 'You never know who's the next suicide bomber. History shows us that all Arabs are extremists.'

That is when without a further word (afterall, he has a red kpali, I have a green. Had I beaten him there and then as my mind was urging me to do, I would have been on the next flight to Lagos), I packed my books and left. Rubbish!!!

Anyways, on a more sober note, I've been encountering a lot of stereotypes in the last few months, so I want to ask this question: if we all adopt stereotypes, how would the world be?

Unfortunately, majority of us are only too happy to comply with stereotypes...
Arabs are known to be extremists.
Blacks are known to be thieves.
Chinese are known to be wicked.
Dutchmen are known to be racist.
Englishmen are known to be drunks.
Frenchmen are known to be lazy.
Germans are known to be genocidal.
Hausamen are known to be dunces.
Igbomen are known to be crooks.
Jews are known to be cheats. (I love that one, ever read Mein Kampf?)
Koreans are known to be Japanese slaves.
Lagosians are known to be impatient.
Mexicans are known to be druggies.
Nigerians. . . (well our own plenty).
Omanese are known to be sly.
Pakis are known to hate women.
Qataris are like Omanese, sly.
Russians are known to be godless.
Senegalese are known to hate Nigerians.
Togolese are known to be cobblers, housegirls and mechanics.
United States of Americans (pardon my bad) are known to be daft (like their president).
Vanuatuans are known to be cannibals.
West Indians are known to be sexually bankrupt.
Yorubamen are known to be cowards.
Zulus are known to be murderers.

If anyone has more to add to the list just fire me an email. In the meantime, there is a little storm brewing here because Nick Ferrari of the LBC decided to make a Christmas carol album with some Muslims, and the British Muslim Council forbade them from taking part. I'd like to ask these people what is wrong with Muslims celebrating Christmas? Is it not a holiday for God's sake?

No matter what people call Him, whether it is God, Allah, Jah or Chukwu, it is the same Person that created all of us. And I'm damned fucking sure that He is just as confused as I am about how come there are now so many factions of us claiming to have sole knowledge of Him. Fuck this!

It is said (by Christians) that the Bible is God's ultimate truth, and (by Muslims) that it is His own word, dictated by none other than Jibril to the Prophet Muhammed (SAW). In both publications, it is said that man is created in the image and likeness of God. I beg to differ with that statement. It is a big lie. The God I know is perfect, and while man may be a copy of Him, man is neither His image nor likeness.

Simple and short, if man is in God's image and likeness, then God must be completely messed up. Because man is completely messed up.

Monday, October 09, 2006

We're all gonna die!

We're all gonna die (copied that line from Nkem)

I've always felt that every country has a right to nuclear weapons. But North Korea's irresponsible action has made me rethink that stand.

This is, quite undeniably, a disaster.

I'm not speaking in terms of the US (I really don't care about them), but in terms of the world. Nowadays, we are all citizens of the world; the old definitions of country and city are increasingly becoming blurred. Whenever another country decides to develop nuclear weapons, it is an attack against world peace. For me, either no one has them, or everyone has them so we can all kill each other in peace.

But seriously, I've never heard of anyone explaining how a nuclear bomb actually saves people (some people would come up with bullshit about how the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki saved a lot of American and Japanese lives), cures cancer, feeds the starving masses, etc.

So for the welfare of the world, North Korea should not have weapons, and all other countries need to disarm (fat chance that with Georgie Bushie and the likes running the shows).

Interestingly, it's not as though North Korea itself is benefitting. There's hardly a chance that they would have been attacked. If the US is to launch another large-scale military operation, it would most likely be the invasion of Iran or Syria, who are somewhat of a threat (according to Uncle George) and strategically far more significant.

Note the media response: we've seen bigger headlines for Bin Laden videos. Videos of a guy standing against a white wall talking! But fairly soon, I'm sure that there will be more sanctions on North Korea, and half their population will die of starvation. End of Kim Jong Il. Everyone's happy again.

The other thing that will happen is the increase of pressure on Iran to comply. Clearly whatever the anti-new-nuclear-countries were doing didn't get the job done. And I'm not speaking from a pro-US, pro-Israel point of view either...

Conclusion: nuclear bombs bad, North Korea insignificant, everyone can party on...

Juve watch

According to UEFA, Bojinov isn't going to play for Bulgaria's under 21. Meantime we have joined the race to prise both Mascherano and Tevez from West Ham. At the moment, the competitors are just about everyone.

I'm off to sleep. Have an assignment to do on jpeg compression. Later people.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Global warming


It is true, the world is getting hotter...

Apply for this job!

I'm still pissed of over this post that I saw here a few days ago. What an insult! Utter bollocks. For the sake of clarity I will repost it: My annoyance is that I can off the top of my head name 10 Nigerian boys who are more than capable of doing the job very well, and that list includes me! So what is the rationale behind importing someone from somewhere to do it?






Job Title: IT Project Manager
Salary/Pay Rate: £1,050 - £1,300 pcm
Location: Lagos
Other Unique Job ID: 9466263
Ideal for candidates from Eastern Europe e.g. Romania, Ukraine, Belarus etc
For an English Language/culture centric job? Is this another scam?
Ideal for candidates from Eastern Europe e.g. Romania, Ukraine, Belarus etc. with the following profile:
IT Background:- Windows server and networking- SQL server
Telcom Background:- TCP-/IP, networking- WAN and CDMA, GPRS knowledge is good but not mandatory

I am applying for that job, and I am challenging every Naija boy (Okechi, Emuchay, Charles Ifinedo, Femi Imoru and Omo Akpofure take note!) that reads this and has said skills to apply as well. Then he who has the links, please let Uncle Sege see this. We can't allow this to happen.

Juve watch

Our primavera were deyed 0-4 by Sampdoria in that friendly on Friday. Tells us that DD needs to work on getting in some more young 'uns. Suppose we have an injury crisis mid-season, what will happen?

Meantime Gigi has joined the clamour by our players to turn the Olimpico at Turin to our permanent base. I agree. Watching the match verus Vicenza certainly showed that the place has a much better atmosphere than Delle Alpi...

Friday, October 06, 2006

UK Memoirs (stole the title, hehehe...)

I hate my school. I hate London. I hate the UK! And for a very simple reason too. Why should I love the place when God hates it? Now, answer this question: if God likes this place, then why did he install a freezer as the weather regulator? Jaizuz! It is terrible, and everyone says the same bullshit: wait until December before you start complaining! What the fuck! A month and half ago I was enjoying the blessed sun! Now I know that I will never in my life complain about Naija weather again. Yesterday, two undergraduate girls (pretty girls I have to add) were strutting around school half naked because the Sun was out! I looked up to the sky and saw one very bright thing (that is the annoying part) that was not giving off any heat whatsoever. There they were in virtual bikinis (until it started raining then they covered up), while there I was all wrapped up in 2 shirts and a cardigan, taking hot tea and pitying them. They've obviously never had the priviledge of seeing the Sun before. Now I understand why every Brit I ever worked with (starting from Flour Mills to Itex) was never too eager to return to this island. One thing I can guarantee you is that if Naija was repaired today and all the services were up and running smoothly, security assured, and all the gbo-gboe, Naija peeps here would flood back in their millions, while our embassy would close down because of the crowd that would beseige the place. Obj and Atiku, over to you...

Now that I've gotten that bit off my chest, lets talk something else...

I've been here for a while, and I still can't find my way around the bleeding buses. I prefer the trains because at least they take me close to where I'm going and then I can trek to my destination. People here dey trek sha. At least my guys in Abuja wey Uncle Nasiru don ban okada for una, make una take heart say I dey with una. Also if anyone in the British Transport Authority is reading this, I know a lot of agile and idle young men in Ajah who wouldn't mind being conductors here, you guys need 'em. I finally met C0dec a few days ago and we trekked about a mile because I was looking for a cheap place to buy winter clothes. The guy was like: 'let's enter a bus', while I was like: 'where are the conductors'. God, I never thought I'd miss Ojuelegba.

One of my funnest days here so far was the day some idiot parked in my uncle's parking space and we blocked the guy. It was so divine to see this guy all decked up, but no way to move his car (and there he had two negros speaking a funny language that he could not decipher). See, he had been parking in my uncle's space for 3 days without a care as to whose house it was, and my uncle trying to be civilized had said maybe he has a problem. I finally had to remind the man: o boy na Naija u from come o. Y u go dey let person dey oppress u like dat? Then my uncle saw the light. The guy never parked there again.

Speaking of trouble, I've had two chats with the police here (carry over from Naija? Looks like policemen love my face). The first one was one day I entered a surface train. See, I didn't know that Oyster cards don't go on surface trains, and they thought that I was trying to be smart. But eventually when they saw my passport and realised that I'm a newbie, they let me go. Who said that the Green kpali is worthless? One of them even took me home. The first clean police car I've ever been in, and I sat in the front seat! That is a real promotion from the back of a black maria back home. Anyways, that day I made up my mind: if I am ever to drive a car in Britain (their speed limits are too low for someone like me who loves 3rd Mainland Bridge on a Sunday), it would be a police car.

The second chat was when my former landlady (a Naija woman) tried to play a fast one on me. When she was advertising her wares (that is house for those of you with dirty minds) she had told me that the place was 15 minutes walk from school. I was like that's okay, and after inspection, I handed over a month's rent and a caution deposit that was equivalent of a month's rent. You see, I could see school at a bit of a distance from my window there. Imagine my disappointment when I found that it is not at all 15 minutes walk, but 62! You see, there are no koros here, so you have to walk along the road. All koro have been defined, so I couldn't just make a beeline through a designated park! Anyways, V (she works in my school, and we knew from UNIBEN) got me a place that though it is £15 a week more expansive, is actually 4 minutes away from school. I was contemplating the extra cost when my landlady Mrs.W, did something that made me decide to move. Maestro was coming over for the weekend from Abeerdeen, and being a well bred Naija boy, I did the polite thing and informed Mrs.W that my guy is coming over, and he will stay Friday, Saturday and Sunday. She calmly informed me that his visit would cost me £15 (£5 per day), and that we should not make noise, we should make sure we are home by 2100, we should... That day I called V and said:' can I move today?', and she was like: 'sure'. To avoid trouble, I told Mrs.W that I had gotten hostel accommodation as far back as January (she knows about my visa wahala), and that it had just been approved. She herself was like: 'my son, you can't abandon £4368' (that being the actual cost of hostel accommodation in my school for a year). 'No problems', I said. So I gave her my key, expecting to get my caution deposit back and half my rent since I stayed only two weeks. Na dere yawa gas. Gimme my bar, she come dey play me like say I be football for three days! Finally, I come gets call olopa dem, tell dem say if d madam no give me my rent, d stori no go funi. Well, I've gotten it back.

So, we have started intensive lectures, and about all my classmates have arrived, so I now know that there are 4 Nigerians in my class: A used to work with LNG, but decided that he wanted to finish his education, S is a Hausa boy who intends to get back to Naija in time for the 2007 election, while O is a UNIBEN product like me, who still behaves like he is in UNIBEN. He has attended only one lecture this week, and told me to sign attendance for him. Na wa o!

The Kenyan guy, F is the oldest fellow in the class, while B the Ghanaboy is still running his mouth. One thing that makes me laugh is that the Indians have imported their caste system here, and it seems to be based on skin colour, the fairer ones being of a higher caste (correct me if I'm wrong). VJ and C (guy and girl) are of a higher caste than all the other guys y'all saw in that picture I put up some time back, and they hardly say a word to them. Irony's that VJ seems to like F (Kenyan) and me (Naija). He always comes to hail us. But our skins are darker than S, J, R and S. The Polish guy, I has been in Britain for years now (not surprising, their weather there is worse than here), and speaks English like a Brit. Hell, today is Friday, so he will get drunk like they do every Friday. That drink thing is a topic for another day, but I know Larry from my days in UNIBEN would love it here. B is a Cypriot, and he is a cool, quiet fellow. As for the Chinese guys (four guys and a girl), they keep to themselves and all I hear when they are together is: 'kai hi chang kia shek', or something along those lines...

Something is bothering me though. The Western Europeans (or lack of) doing Masters programmes (and even Bachelors at that!). There aren't many, and Maestro tells me it is the same at RGU, Ij said it is the same at Nottingham, while Fide said same at Oxford. The question is this: if they are beginning to skenk school like Igbo boys in favour of making money (football and entertainment over here, spare parts for my people :D), what happens in 20 years. We can already see the effects beginning to appear, the 'plum' jobs are being taken over by Asians (dem plenty sha) and to a lesser extent Africans, and East Europeans. Effect: xenophobia is on the rise. That brings me to my next rant, racism.

Jeremy has an excellent post about white fear of blacks in their countries, and how it is funny that when same white is in Naija, he mixes freely with blacks. Well. that is their problem, the whites. My own rant is about black on black 'racism', specifically the Jamaicans (Jamos) and Africans, especially Naija people. E be like day dem dey fear us well well.

My first experience with racism was 20 years ago in Karolinska Institut in Stockholm when my dad was a visiting professor there. See, the white kids would come to our door and knock all day that they wanted to play with my sister and I, but the moment we came out, they'd all disappear. The one day I met one, he called me a wog. I didn't understand what that meant for another 4 years. Since then, I have been very concious of it especially whenever I was chanced to leave Naija for a holiday. The ugly thing reared itself up again when I got here: I enter a train, and I notice that the whiteys would hold their bags tighter like I'm about to snatch 'em. I always laugh. Anyways the first time I reacted to a racial slur was when it was directed at me from a Jamo.

One of those few occasions that I ventured to enter a bus, was from Norbury to Brixton. The driver was black. During the bus ride, my phone rang. It was my uncle, and naturally the conversation was in Igbo. You see, in the one month plus that I've been here, I've spoken more Igbo than in the last 3 years. Anyways, as I was getting to my busstop, I did what everyone does, I rang the bell (God I miss conductors). As I was preparing to alight, I heard from the front of the bus, the driver that is, with his Jamaican patwa in all its glory: 'Is that how you ring the bell in Africa?' Jaizuz! What rubbish. This can't go unpunished. So I responded: 'We don't have bells on buses in Nigeria, and it is that stupid ignorance that made my grandfather to sell your grandfather.'

My uncle says that having done that 'stupidity' in Brixton of all places, I am lucky to be alive...

Juve watch in the next edition, for now I'm off to class. Vayan con Dios...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Niger Delta again!

Edit: 1116 hours 5/10/2006: The 'militants' have demanded a ransome. Doesn't it just feel good to be proved right about these people?

Good news: I have been unbanned by Seun. Now I am free to spend my spare time arguing again. Nairaland is slowly replacing Juventuz as my most visited forum. Maybe I am missing home too much, and I still love Naija more than Juventus. At the moment it isn't affecting my books (thank God) and I pray that would continue to remain the case. That is the reason why I haven't gotten an internet connection in my flat. For the time being I would continue to browse from school only when I am free, and as a result would then build the discipline required to read my books and ignore the net when I have to read. Then and only then would I say that I can safely get an internet connection at home.

The Niger Delta crisis has come to the fore again in the last few days, and as usual there is a little argument going on in Nairaland. My opinion remains that in the final analysis, these so called militants are criminals. God forbid, but should we get another military government tomorrow, they would all paddle back home. It is money that they are after, not the benefits of their people. There is an excellent take on them on Oria's blog.

Meanwhile, I have this to say:

You would find that in every setup, no matter how good such a setup would be challenged by dissatisfied individuals (note that I am avoiding using the word disgruntled). Even in the US, there are people who feel that they are being hard done by. That is the natural order of things.

The facts remain (and I am yet to be proved wrong in any forum that I have raised these points despite all the hate and threats directed at me):

1) since we have reached a concensus that marginalisation in our diction is all about infrastructure or the lack of it, all parts of Nigeria have suffered marginalisation

2) since we have agreed that the representatives of a people are their leaders, then the voices of the people of the Niger Delta (South-South) are as follows: (elected) Peter Odili, Dieprieye Alamiesiyeagha now replaced by Goodluck Jonathan, Lucky Igbinedion, James Ibori, Obong Attah, Donald Duke. We agree that the people deserve the government that they have, and since the people of the Niger Delta (South-South) are 'happy' to just sit back and let these rogues (apologies to Donald Duke) continue looting their treasuries, then the people also share a portion of the blame for their actions.

3) we have all in one form or the other over the course of the last few months when I first burst on the scene with this article, agreed that he who cannot be trusted in small things cannot be trusted in big things. My own interpretation of that statement is he who cannot be trusted with coins cannot be trusted with notes. The implication of that is that the Niger Delta who get the lion's share of oil revenue, and have been getting that larger share for the better part of the last decade, and who still have nothing to show for it, do not deserve a larger share of such funds.

4) we have all agreed that he who makes peaceful change impossible, makes violent change inevitable. History bears that out, that you can only push a people thus far. But history also shows that a struggle whose leadership is not pure (for want of a better word) and honest is bound to fail. We have all seen that the leaders of all the various 'break-Nigeria' movements (Ojukwu back in the 1960s), Uwazuruike, Dokubo, Adams didn't have the backs of their people when the chips were down, but instead were interested in self. With such dishonest leadership, all these movements will surely fail.

5) we have all agreed that Nigeria as it is currently constituted is failing. But we fail to remember that failure is an incentive to do well. We also fail to remember that Nigeria once was a sort of success story. It is easy for us to point out reasons why we are failing, but difficult to remember that other countries with similar situations are doing well.

6) we have all agreed that based on the indigene-settler dichotomy which currently operates in Nigeria, Chxta for example is a citizen not of Edo State but of one of the states east of Edo (for reasons of national unity, I haven't filled in the state of origin slot in any form since 2001, for example in the last census, I filled in Edo as my state of origin, so don't ask what state I come from). Since this indigene-settler dichotomy operates, then the South-South geopolitical zone has indeed produced a Nigerian Head of State. His name is Murtala Ramat Muhammad. And until the day an Igbo man is allowed to run for governor of Lagos State, it remains an immutable fact that the late General Muhammad was from Edo State.

7) we all agree that education is the only way to stem the apparent slide that is pervasive in the South of the country, and some of us have pointed out that despite figures that show that the East for example produces the largest number of applicants that doesn't necessarily translate into a higher number of graduates as the drop out rate of males in the East (and the South-South) is on the sharp increase. This would bode very poorly for us in the long term, and the sooner we address this issue, the better for us all.

This is not the time to fight. This is the time to sit down and take an inward look. As an ancient sage once wisely noted: 'The trouble with most of us is that we'd rather be ruined by praise than built by criticism'.

To borrow a phrase from Texazzpete: I have spoken.

Juve watch.

Gigi just cracks me up. He made an excellent broadside at Inter...

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Yet again


Again? Okay Seun, I'm sorry. Please unban me.

School work

It is finally growing on me. Imagine waking up at 0400 in this not too nice weather to read my books? Well, that is what I did. Hope I can keep it up. Meantime, this area feels like a fridge, and winter hasn't come yet. Gosh!

Juve watch

Our appeal to FIGC to reschedule our weekend fixture with Brescia due to the fact that we provide 4 Italy internationals has been granted. In place of that match we will play Sampdoria in a friendly.

Meanwhile Gigli is confident that we will get a point penalty reduction. Of course we will. It is obvious by now to all but the most extreme of Juve haters that our relegation was all beef. Meanwhile no one is talking about serious punishment for Inter in their own scandal. But the scandal gets worse though, and the usurpers are proving that they can't win the league even with a handicap. Inter makes me laugh...

UEFA Cup (A competition fit for Inter)

This one was in today's Fiver

VASE AND MEANS
When the Fiver was a horrible student, one of the posters on its bedsit wall featured a shallow grave marked by a machine gun stuck in the ground with a GI's helmet hanging off the butt. The futility of war was summed up by the plaintive accompanying slogan: "why?". (Of course it was also summed up by the fact that millions of good men died so the Fiver could spend the best years of its life smoking weed, drinking Snakebites and listening to rubbish like Jesus Jones and Ned's Atomic Dustbin, but hey, time's a wasting).These days the machine gun and helmet have been replaced by a picture of the Euro Vase trophy, but the slogan remains the same: "Why?" What is the point? Who cares about a competition whose sole function is to identify and crown the 33rd best team in Europe? Apart from the Uefa suits, who today divvied the remaining 40 teams into eight groups of five that will be played out interminably, until a mere two from each group are eliminated. The remaining 24 clubs will then be joined by the eight who finish third in their Big Cup groups, which means a grand total of 4,583 matches - many of them dead rubbers - will be played out in their entirety in order to reduce the number of teams in the competition by ... eight.One of the lucky teams to go out before the round before the round before the quarter-finals will be Newcastle, who were drawn in the same group as Fenerbahce (H), Palermo (A), Celta Vigo (H) and Eintracht Frankfurt (A). "Newcastle haven't won anything for 40, 50 years and any trophy will do," aye-ayed Newcastle's Scouse coach Terry McDermott. "These fans have been starved of success over the years and if any fans deserve a trophy it's these Newcastle fans because they are the best," he continued, eyeing up some braying Geordies who certainly hadn't been starved of brown ale or pies.Of course it would be remiss of us to overlook the fact that Spurs, Blackeye Rovers and the Pope's O'Rangers also featured, with all three facing "tricky" ties (ie they're all in groups with teams the Fiver has heard of).

Group A: Auxerre, The Pope's O'Rangers, Partizan Belgrade, Livorno, Maccabi Haifa.
Group B: Bayer Leverkusen, Club Brugge, Besiktas, Dinamo Bucharest, Tottenham.
Group E: Feyenoord, Basel/Basle/Barrrrrrl, Wisla Krakow, Blackeye Rovers, AS Nancy.
Group H: Newcastle, Celta Vigo, Palermo, Fenerbahce, Eintracht Frankfurt.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Naijeriya yi ti gbogbo wa ni!


I have to pay a tribute to my country on this the one day of the year when I must.

Our country is 46 today (this post is being synchronised to come in just before the end of the day). It is true that we are lagging behind a lot of others in a lot of things. We have no shortage of bad roads, corrupt officials, a poor healthcare system, a terrible legal system, no light, and worst of all, an educational system that is falling apart. But lamenting is the easy way out. Why can't we focus on the little positives?

I saw this somewhere earlier in the day (I didn't note the link, sorry):

What I see on the streets of Lagos is an improvement of what i saw in 1993!
What I see in the cities of Delta State is an evolution unprecedented.
What I see in Onitsha of today is order unimaginable in the 1990s.
What I see in Kaduna is religious tolerance none ever imagined could be achieved.
What I see in Cross River is a jewel born on the Atlantic in the 2000s.
What I see in Abuja is a city hewn from desolate rocks.
What I see in Nigeria is a nation emerging from economic obscurity to international prominence, with so much weight cast down from debt relief/payments and new purposeful policies and institutions.

We need to find a way forward, I believe that 150 millions are people who have great ideas that can move our country forward.

We should pray for Nigeria.

We should all stop bad mouthing about Nigeria and giving the country a bad name.

How many of us remember the national pledge? It is a source of motivation.

We should stop complaining about our problems and start seeing Nigeria from a positive angle.

Let us act! Let us all do something positive each in our own little way that will contribute to the progress of our country. We can all make a change irrespective of where we are, who we are,what we do .

We should stop the blame game. Blaming our leaders is a short cut. We put them there, and by our actions leave them there. The people deserve the government that they have! It is time to accept our responsibilties.

Naijeriya yi ti gbogbo wa ni!