Saturday, April 29, 2006

Whitney Houston

Someone sent me a PowerPoint presentation asking me to pray for Whitney Houston. The presentation was backed up by some sorry looking pictures of the babe looking like someone who just walked out of Darfur. I duly forwarded the presentation to some friends, and promptly got the following reply from Omon Ehigebolo:

Chxta, you shlda known better than to falll for these spammers, the pix are well doctored. Below are recent pix of her taken this year.
Just a lil old age, but for 42 she still lovely
Omon

That reply made me do some extra research and I duly sent him this:

Even with that she looks a l'il too old, and if that is your definition of lovely mein bruder, then I am terribly afraid to attend your wedding because of what I might see that day.
In any event, the pictures appear to be genuine as seen in Softpedia and this article stating that Beyonce wants to help her out.
There is a lawsuit at the moment, so you find that Wikipedia is being very careful about what they publish...

Then Oah sent in this:

Well Omo,
You got it wrong this time--- The pics in which Whitney looked like
she has really been going through rough times were also released in
some of Germany's biggest tabloids this past weekend. They were
taken after she came out of rehab last week. In fact, some more
damaging pictures were also taken by Bobby Brown's sister not long
ago. She seems to have become addicted to cocaine again..
Earlier this month, Bobby Brown confirmed that she had returned to
rehab for the third time in three years. Those pics you sent were
taken in Oct last year...not this year.
Nein, mein Freund...die Bilder von Cheta sind glaubwürdig (The
pictures from Cheta are authenthic).
Am outta here..

Whatever the case may be, all is not well with the diva. And for those who love her music (I am currently listening to Heartbreak Hotel) this is a very sad development. I pray that she recovers. Pray for her too people.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Exactly what we needed to win the title!

Vieira and Zlatan fighting! The way we have imploded ever since the draw with Roma is less than appalling. And Zlatan has been a big part of the problem. Is senility Don Fabio's problem that he doesn't see this? I wish to see the back of that big head this summer. Forza Juve!

Ubuntu Linux



I am writing this because of Pekun at Interswitch for whom I installed Ubuntu Linux yesterday...


Ubuntu is a popular distribution of the Linux operating system which has acquired a wildly growing user base and I am one of them. Described as being Linux for Human Beings, Ubuntu is somewhere in between Mandriva (formerly Mandrake) and Fedora Core in terms of ease of use. Ubuntu has recently been awarded Best Distribution, and is rated as the top Linux distribution by Distrowatch.

Getting Ubuntu

The first thing you need to do if you are online, is to go to www.ubuntu.com/download. Go to the bottom of that page and select a download mirror. There are three downloads under Install CD. Download the ISO file that you need for your system. If you are not sure which one you need, it is very likely to be the one for x86 computers, that is for those of you that have PCs. I am not concerned about those who don't (hehehe). After you have completed downloading the ISO file, burn it to a CD as an image with your favorite burning utility such as Nero.

If on the other hand you have a bad lnk, and you have some time, you can order a CD by going to shipit.ubuntu.com, they would send you free copies of the latest version. I am using version 5.04, 5.10 is available, and 6.06 would be out in June.

Installing

After I got my CDs, I installed Ubuntu, (5.04 aka Hoary Hedgehog), on my laptop, completely wiping off the Windows OS. The install process is quick, I was on in Ubuntu in 30 minutes. However, there is no full-fledged GUI installation like Mandriva or Suse. But, the installation process is fairly automated. By default, Ubuntu installs a number of applications that you cannot deselect or add to them in the installation process. This can be bad for users with slow systems that just want the bare minimum. Although, that can all be changed once the operating system is installed. Programs can be added or removed as you wish. Other than that, the installation process is a breeze. You can send me an email if you have any questions about it.

Post installation comments

Ubuntu comes bundled with the Gnome window manager, which has two taskbars. The one on the top features the menus and the system tray icons while the bottom taskbar has the open windows, show desktop, trash, and a virtual workspace switcher. If you feel more comfortable with a windows style format, you should consider Kubuntu which features the KDE window manager.

The first thing you notice is how clean the desktop is… it is empty, just the way I love it! In other Linux distros I have been used to desktops being littered with links to the distribution’s website or trivial shortcuts to “home.” The user interface is simple and pleasing with nice icons and cursors. Ubuntu is a powerful operating system, with OpenOffice.org, a BitTorrent client (Gnome BitTorrent), Mozilla Firefox, and gAIM instant messenger, among others, preinstalled. Ubuntu is much faster than Windows on my computer in terms of general system tasks. Windows boots faster because like all Linux distros, Ubuntu searches for a lot of stuff before it finishes booting. However, it is faster than Windows when the system is online. It has a lot less to load up and doesn’t have to load any fancy graphics. I did not notice any lag in the menus or the file explorer, nautilus. I am still tripping over how all of my hardware works flawlessly. Just to test, I plugged in several USB devices and all were functioning. This is a major relief as I remember my Windows days where I would have to enter start rushing to Driver Guide in order to get a lot of gadjets to work.

The first thing you need to do after Ubuntu installs is a system update. The update process is painless. Everything is done by the Update Manager, which you can find by going to System>Administration>Update Manager. A window should pop-up asking for the user password, this is normal. The update process is self-explanatory, select the packages and apply them by clicking Install. In my case it keeps reminding me that Ubuntu 5.10 is available, but I would update to 6.06 when it is released in 2 months. If you need administrative rights to do something in the terminal, then go to Applications>System Tools>Root Terminal, and voila, you are the administrator.

If you want to install extra software, you can download a magnificent program Ubuntu Add-on, and in the terminal (root terminal), type the following after each has executed:
cd Desktop/
unzip ubuntuaddon.zip
cd ubuntuaddon/
sh ubuntuaddon.sh

Follow the promptings to install each application. Remember everything thing is a choice. If you wish to install just press ENTER. If you wish to skip press N then ENTER.

Ubuntu Addon Zip selectively installs the following applications without an internet connection:
Java, flash-player + firefox plugin, adobe reader + firefox plugin, gFTP, multimedia codecs, mplayer (xmms is installed if you install mplayer), dvdplayback, xine, realplayer 10, thunderbird, gnomebaker, firestarter, nvidia 3D driver, samba server, ssh server, Japanese and Chinese input.

Other features: can automatically add 1) universe, multiverse repositories 2) marillat repositories 3) backport repositories. The Ubuntu CD-ROM is not required either.

This is a typical method for installing simple applications in Ubuntu, or most other Linux distributions for that matter. However, other distributions with different window managers have unique ways of putting links to applications. For example, in the Blackbox/Fluxbox window manager you must edit a file to include an entry to that application in the right click menu. If you have ever seen the typical method for installing applications on a more complex distribution of Linux you will notice how many things are compiled from source. While compiling from source builds the application around your computer’s individual settings and makes it run more efficiently, it is often too difficult or time consuming for the beginning Linux user. Therefore Ubuntu does not come with a preinstalled compiler such as gcc. If you ever want to gain that functionality you need to execute sudo apt-get install gcc in the terminal. After you do this, if you want to install an application from source usually you extract the file to a folder (tar xjf for .tar.bz2 and tar xzf for .tar.gz) and then run the following commands:
cd /path/to/folder
./configure
make
make install


Ubuntu has a great package manager called Synaptic that lets you search for or find applications to install or remove from a list. You can check it out by going to System>Administration>Synaptic Package Manager. You can easily sort packages by category, their installation status, or by searching. If you find a package you want to add click it and select Mark for Installation. Once you’ve selected all the packages you wish to install, remove or upgrade at this time, click the Apply button. It’s as easy as that. However, not every application will be on this list and betas are usually never listed. In those cases you must go out and download the installer elsewhere and install it manually. Such is the case if you want the latest version of Firefox the day it comes out. It might take the repositories a day or two to get the latest versions.

Some useful hints

  • The Terminal is your friend. It will scratch your back for you. I suggest putting a launcher to it on the taskbar by right clicking Terminal in Applications>Accessories>Terminal and selecting Add this launcher to panel.
  • Most applications in Ubuntu are stored within /usr/lib/ (the equivalent of C:\Program Files).
  • Linux can only handle one sound stream if your sound driver is not fully supported by ALSA, which I find to be quite often. If you watch a movie and then close the movie player, it is normal for a slew of gAIM sounds to play for a while as that sound stream was cached for later playback. If you are streaming internet radio in Amarok and then open a video in VLC, the sound from Amarok will be heard.
  • If a program ever seizes up, you can force quit it using the killall [program] command. You can view active processes and kill them if necessary via top. Typing k and then the PID of the process you can kill that process. This isn’t always the case, so you many need to do killall -9 [command].
  • The man command can be used before any command you wish to learn about. For example, man apt-get will list the man pages. To exit the man pages and go back to the terminal press q.

    You can manage system packages via the apt-get command. Here are a few to keep handy…
    sudo apt-get update
    sudo apt-get upgrade
    sudo apt-get install [package name]
    sudo apt-get remove [package name]

    You can search for packages to install via packages.ubuntu.com.

  • pwd tells you what directory you are in (print working directory), cd changes the directory, cd .. goes back up (out) a directory, ls lists the contents of a directory, nano is a simple text editor while more and less are simple text viewers, unzip unzips zip archives, tar is a valuable decompression tool, ./ executes some files (eg., *.sh files), other programs can be accessed by typing their name such as firefox.
  • Here are some more important commands.
  • If you need to switch between Java installations use
    sudo update-alternatives –config java

  • My final thoughts...

    Linux proponents loudly celebrate Linux's increasing importance in the world of software. It's true that Linux has made great strides in becoming a standard part of the computing landscape, but it has made far more inroads into the Unix space than into the Windows desktop space. Despite that, there's simply no doubt that the desktop—and Microsoft—are the current target of many open source software projects. These projects are conceived, executed, and extended to compete with Microsoft's desktop applications. But they are currently fighting a losing battle as far as most users are concerned.

    To compete successfully, Linux needs a standardized platform and robust installation mechanisms so that users can choose software on its merits, without worrying about whether the software they want works on their particular Linux flavor or GUI choice.

    As a first step, open source proponents should band together to create a standardized Linux/GUI combination as a single platform for application development targeted toward average users with the goal of removing barriers to generalized adoption. Doing so would not remove or limit choice for more advanced Linux users. Vendors and open source projects would be free to choose to support the standard or not, just as they please. Freedom of choice is not incompatible with the concept of providing a standard platform. Applications that meet the standard would:

    • be guaranteed to work on the defined standard platform

    • have an install program that automated all modifications to the target machine and provided reasonable and intelligent default settings

    • have an uninstall program that removed the software but would not affect any data produced with the software

    • would interoperate (where appropriate) with other standard applications

    • would include the ability for users to manually or automatically upgrade their applications to the latest stable release version

    Any such group should immediately implement comprehensive end-user testing and make the results available to the open source community. A project that builds on and augments the existing Free Standards Group recommendation, the Linux Standard Base (LSB) project, might be a good first step. The LSB provides tests and documentation so that organizations can certify their Linux application binaries as compatible with a specified binary standard.

    The LSB project doesn't address GUI concerns, and perhaps it shouldn't. After all, not all applications require a GUI. But those that do need some way to provide assurance to users that the software will run on their systems. Until that happens, average users aren't likely to get very excited about either Linux or open source.


    Special thanks to Paul Stamatiou.

    Wednesday, April 26, 2006

    Is Philip Emeagwali a fake?

    I got permission from Chippla to republish this article, so I will do so after I weigh in with my own thoughts on the issue. You see, as a young Nigerian who is so much into IT, I always looked at the man as a hero. But like Bill Gates he has bitterly disappointed me (that's a story for another day). Ever since first reading the article in December of last year, there has been no refutal from the Emeagwali camp, neither has my serious research into the issue failed to prove Chippla (and all other Emeagwali detractors for that matter) wrong at all.

    First things first, the Gordon Bell prize doesn't seem to be important enough to warrant an article of its own on Wikipedia. If it can't get into that repository of knowledge, then in my humble opinion, the same importance should be attached to it as to an MON.

    According to Emeagwali's site, he is the father of the internet, and a lot of other stuff, but this site has gone through a lot of pains to debunk his claims, and he hasn't deemed it fit to at least sue them for libel! At least to clear his name...

    It was clearly stated in this article that he twice failed his exams when he was in the University of Michigan, and his dissertation for a PhD was not accepted. He then sued the school for racial discrimination, but the case was dismissed without trial. This is the complete text of the appeal, which failed as well.

    One more thing, according to Wikipedia, and a lot of other sources, the "Nobel Prize" of computing is the Turing Award. It has a monetary value of $ 100 000, and has been around since 1966, unlike the Gordon Bell prize which has a value of about $ 1 000 and has been around since "yesterday" (1987).

    I am so pissed off!

    Find below Chippla's article (19/12/2005) which started my own research...

    For a man voted one of the greatest Africans in history, Philip Emeagwali is found wanting.

    Ask Nigerian university students who the greatest present-day Nigerian scientist is and they are likely tell you 'Philip Emeagwali.' But who is Philip Emeagwali and why is he famous? He is seen as a supercomputer guru, who programmed sixty-five thousand processors on a Connection Machine 2 (a supercomputer) to compute 3.1 billion calculations per second when modeling an oil reservoir. This was meant to be a feat never before achieved. Thus, all of a sudden, Emeagwali became an icon in Nigeria, seen as an embodiment of the American dream – a refugee child who fled Nigeria during the 1967-70 civil war, finding a new life in the United States and excelling at what he did.

    However, not everyone appears to have bought into this fairy tale story. Jonathan Elendu of Elendureport.com digs into the life of the man behind the myth and comes out with the following stark conclusion – it all appears to be false. In his own words "the jury is still out on Phillip Emeagawli [Emeagwali] and his accomplishments." Firmly believing most of Emeagwalis's claims to be untrue, Mr. Elendu asks "Is it greed, ego, criminal ignorance, or in-built self destructive tendencies that lead[s]…people to make claims that cannot be substantiated easily." What are these claims, and what did Jonathan Elendu find out about Philip Emeagwali?

    Professor Emeagwali?

    Often, though not always, being a world-class scientist demands that one goes through the process of academic research training which leads to the award of a doctorate degree (a PhD, that is). Some researchers go on to become professors. Emeagwali has neither a PhD nor a professorship. Yet, on a magazine cover displayed on his website, he is clearly addressed as Prof. Emeagwali (note that the pictures on his website keep changing). Elendu states that Emeagwali at one time filed a "suit against the University of Michigan for refusing to award him a doctorate degree in super computing or engineering." He further states that Emeagwali's work was not up to the university's standards and he was denied a PhD. Despite an appeal on the grounds of racial discrimination, Emeagwali never did receive the PhD degree he labored so hard to get.

    Most Searched-For Scientist?

    Jonathan Elendu goes on to say that all websites which speak of the laurels received by Philip Emeagwali are owned by him. There was one time this writer read an article on Emeagwali's website which stated: "Emeagwali is the most searched for scientist in the world." The article made it clear that more searches were being carried out for Philip Emeagwali than Stephen Hawking, the renowned British physicist. Having a WordTracker subscription, through which it was possible to see what was being searched for on the net, this writer did a bit of research on it. Alas! Emeagwali was barely being searched for on the internet while there were non-stop queries for Stephen Hawking. That was the first inkling to the fact that some pieces of information on Emeagwali's website were blatantly false.

    A Scientist That Does Not Publish

    If Philip Emeagwali is a scientist, then he must have published work in peer-reviewed journals. All top-class scientists do so, and without such one could never be considered for prestigious awards such as the Nobel Prize in the sciences. There are very few scientists who choose not to publish regularly in peer-reviewed journals like Stephen Wolfram, the author of A New Kind of Science and head of Wolfram Research. Colleagues never take their work seriously. Having access to a license for SciFinder, a piece of software that allows one to see all published scientific work from every corner of the globe since the beginning of the 20th century, this writer did a search with the name "Emeagwali." Just four results were obtained, all in reference to the work of Dale Emeagwali, who happens to be Philip Emeagwali's wife, a scientist herself. What this means is that Philip Emeagwali has no published scientific work in peer-reviewed journals. Yet on his website, he is called the "greatest scientist of African descent."

    Jonathan Elendu also did some investigation in this regard, focusing on Emeagwali's patents, and states: "Claims of Emeagwali holding patents to forty-one inventions are splashed on his websites. We searched for these patents at the appropriate places and came up with nothing to corroborate those claims. Where are these patents registered? Who in the scientific community is aware of these inventions?"

    The 35th Greatest African Ever?

    New African, a reputable African magazine voted Emeagwali amongst the 100 greatest Africans ever, alongside such people as Nelson Mandela, Wole Soyinka, Kwame Nkurma, Muhammed Ali, Maya Angelo, Martin Luther King, F.W. de Klerk, Queen Nefertiti and Kenneth Kaunda. This writer was opportuned to see the edition of New African Magazine in which this information was published. But what exactly are Emeagwali's contributions or did they rely on information from his website which appears to be nothing but self-promotional, most of which cannot be verified? According to Emeagwali's website, he was voted the 35th greatest African of all time.

    So, Who Is Philip Emeagwali?

    For a man who is labeled (on his website that is) as the "World's Top Scientist," "An Internet Pioneer," "A Father of the Internet" and "A Great Mind," it is practically impossible to verify almost all of the claims made on his website. This writer is skeptical about the claims of Philip Emeagwali with the exception of the fact that he received the Gordon Bell Award for scientific computing in 1989, which has been verified. Yet, the Gordon Bell Award is $5000 award (probably much less when Emeagwali received it in 1989), though Philip Emeagwali keeps referring to it as the "Nobel Prize of Computing." The bulk of the information on his website appears to be nothing but hype. And Emeagwali, as ever, remains a myth.

    Tuesday, April 25, 2006

    Youths Earnestly Ask for...

    Remember Daniel Kanu, the media savy guy that made the case that Abacha should succeed himself? He's back! But this time with a 'reasonable' idea:

    "We intend to push for constitutional amendment that would allow soft-landing for every president that had ruled this country. It is a programme where in the constitution you will have Federal Government Presidential Advisory Board. This Board will have as its members former Presidents/Heads of State and their former deputies. They will constitute an advisory board to the executive arm of government; they will be part of the presidency. We suggest that President Obasanjo as a sitting President will be chairman of the board when he leaves office in 2007. That will give him the opportunity to advise whosoever is going to succeed him to continue with his present policies and projects- since that is one of the issues he is concerned about. We should be concerned about what is going on in our country and see how we can find a solution to them, not only for the interest of 2007, but thereafter."

    "We have started the project; the next thing is to write all former Heads of State and Presidents. We only hope that they will buy the idea. We will encourage them to come on board and use their influence and connections to continue to serve their country."


    As Nigeria is said to be simmering this could be a reasonable way out. In Singapore, the 80- something-year-old Lee Kuan Yeu is Minister-Mentor, the third highest person in government. The second-in-command is Goh Tok Chong ,the guy who gave up power a few years ago. The Prime Minister of of course is Lee's son, Lee Hsein. Talk about a double soft landing.

    A soft landing is possible in Nigeria. It shouldn't be a Senator-for-life-unlimited- immunity arrangement that was extended to ex dictator Pinochet in Chile. That will make us look stupid. But it should be a creative Nigerian solution to a Nigerian problem.

    Here is how I think it can work:

    First all parties will agree to drop the ammendment issue. Baba will pipe down, paving the way for free and fair elections. That way the PDP will remain together as "one”, making it likely that the PDP will clinch the presidency in 2007.

    The PDP can then work out the following internal arrangement: OBJ will will chair the Federal Government Presidential Advisory Board as well as retain a serious domestic and foreign policy role in Abuja. That way he'll be visible and respected abroad. Heck like Mandela, he'll be the second person foreign dignitaries will see after they see the president.

    Power can then legitimately shift to a young reformer endorsed by OBJ. Okonjo-Iweala, Nasir El-Rufai, Udo Udoma, Donald Duke, even Gen. Martin Luther Agwai could be the chosen one. With OBJ around as I stated above, with Gusau and other National Security aparatchicks around for a 1-2 year transition period, the young president can pick his own security boys that will be groomed to take over from the top dogs during the transition period. With this arrangement, Nigeria will still be "democratic." There'll be "continuity." The "reforms" will continue, and the common man won't go through a second civil war.


    Thursday, April 20, 2006

    Apology

    Me not been online for a few days. My kernel crashed you see (as a Linux enthusiast I was trying out something, and the thing failed), and I decided to do what any true Linux man would do, and that is to sort out the problem. Unfortunately, I have been unable to, so I just reinstalled the damn thing. At least I have learnt something new. More later. There's so much happening you know...

    Monday, April 17, 2006

    War on OBJ

    The natural evolution of the current fiasco involving our president and his vice. Atiku's people have declared war on Obasanjo...

    Thank God

    I am still finding this a little difficult to believe. On Saturday evening, I was waiting for my cousin to come pick me up from a friend's place near Silverbird Cinema. A few minutes after 1900, he called to inform me that he had a flat tyre at Bonny Camp Round-about and that I should take a bike and meet him up while he changes the tyre. I did that with a lot of trepidation. It was dark see, and knowing Lagos for what it is, I was afraid that some alaye boys would come and collect from us what belongs to them.

    We were struggling to change the tyre in the dark (thank you Lagos for not maintaining your street lights) when suddenly a light shone on us. It was some kind hearted fellow who having spotted us, came over and left his lights on for us to change the tyre. What is more, he even came down and gave us a hand. His action made a tedious job easy for us, and saved us the potential harassment that would surely have happened had we continued in the dark. He said his name is Thank God.

    I don't know what to say about that name, I never believed such a name to be real (an old classmate of mine bears the same name), but Mr. Thank God from Kogi State, who drives a 1984 vintage Mercede Benz 200 with plate number AS 664 AKD, you were a life saver when someone really needed one, and all I can say to you is Thank God you came around.

    Friday, April 14, 2006

    Israel will be annihilated!

    Such statements really cannot be condonned in our modern world. Why would be want to annihilate a whole people? Hitler and co should be consigned to where they belong, and that is the dustbin of history.

    Having said that, I find it funny that the main stream Arab media didn't report Ahmadinejad's statement. The only related Israel stories on Al-Jazeera for example are this one about the US blocking an Arab proposal to ask the UN to make Israel halt strikes against Palestinians, and this feature about the US-Iran face off.

    Does it mean that our people (humans I mean) are not interested in things that don't concern them? Or is it that people only want to hear what they want?

    Following things from the view point of both the Western media and the Arab media over the last few months, I have come to see that both sides see things differently, and until this difference is bridged, I don't think there will be peace in the Mid-East.

    Thursday, April 13, 2006

    That we may not forget

    This seems to be the last article I could find about the Apo killings of last year. Has Nigeria forgotten the victims? Did they die in vain?

    Wednesday, April 12, 2006

    Jamaica vs Nigeria...

    I was led to this article by Jeremy.

    Nice article with a lot of bitter truths. But written with a lot of bias. But one wonders what Abbot's problem is. After enjoying a holiday at the expense of the British and the Nigerian taxpayer , as part of an 'all-party parliamentary group' to promote good relations between Nigeria and the UK, the first thing she does when she gets back is to write an article beratting Naija.

    The annoying thing about the article is that it told us nothing new about anything happening in the country. It was totally negative and could have been written by any moron.

    Also, her comparison of Nigeria and Jamaica is completely farcical. Nigeria is a country of at least 150 million people with 250 ethnic groups, unlike Jamaica which is just a tiny island.

    The smallest state in Naija is Lagos which is 3,577 sq km. Lagos has a population of 14 million.

    Jamaica at almost 4 times the size of Lagos (11,424 sq km), has just over 2 million people. Less than 20% of Lagos. You can't even compare Lagos to Jamaica, talk less of Nigeria!

    Aside from that, her article contains certain factual innaccuracies e.g The Niger Delta is definitely not one of the most populous parts of the country.

    Abbot is a hypocrite. She spent years lambasting people for sending their kids to private school, and then turned round and did exactly the same thing. She had to admit on TV that her decision was indefensible.

    She also made a claim that "blonde, blue-eyed Finnish girls" in her local hospital in east London were unsuitable as nurses because they had "never met a black person before".

    Can you imagine if someone had said the reverse, that black skinned, people were unsuitable as nurses if they had never met a white person before?

    She's a disgrace and needs to shut up!

    By the way, what is the problem of Jamaicans feeling so inferior when they meet Nigerians?


    (A lot of my retort came from various sources that I agree with).

    Political enemies

    This was written by a friend a few months back, just saw it while going through my documents...

    In Nigeria, it is common for politicians to blame their troubles on Political Enemies. For those who don't know, this is a shadowy organisation dedicated to causing whoever occupies an office as much headache as possible. It's members are responsible for such treasonable acts as leaking details of fake results and certificates, bribery and corruption in government etc.

    Indeed, this group causes so much havoc that it should be banned and its members arrested. I mean, how can a governor concentrate on the serious business of office when Political Enemies reveals that he never finished secondary school, and therefore wasn't even qualified to run for the office in the first place?

    More recently, however, Political Enemies decided to go international, and opened a branch in London. Their target was the unsuspecting DSP Alamieyeseigha, governor of Bayelsa State. Whilst the poor man was in Germany undergoing an operation to cure a life-threatening condition, Political Enemies was busy stuffing his London home with pound notes.

    After successfully completing his surgery, the man decided to stop over in London to recuperate. Only for the London Metropolitan Police, acting on an anonymous tip-off, to arrest the man at Heathrow. Of course, the good governor, champion of his people was outraged. He had a diplomatic passport, and besides, the allegations were preposterous. All he had on him at the time was the measly pocket change of a few hundred thousand pounds or so, surely not an amount to get Scotland Yard to pull out the big guns?

    He followed them to their offices calmly. Afterall, he would soon be cleared, and when he was, they would know the full meaning of jaguda. He was going to cause so much wahala that Tony Blair would come and beg him to calm down. He mentally listed the numbers and names of all the warriors he was going to call up while he waited for the Metropolitan Police Commissioner to come in, offer his most profound apologies for the actions of his overzealous men, and throw in an offer to spend his recuperation at Buckingham Palace. So, you can imagine his utter shock when he was informed by the cops that a search of his home had yielded about one million pounds in cash. In 50 pound notes.

    "Political Enemies!!", groaned the distraught governor.

    Abeg, Politikal Enemis, even if na only 50 tousand una wan kom plant, I go take am. Jus call me for mai gism, I go giv una de adres. Biko!

    Friday, April 07, 2006

    Round 2: Atiku strikes back

    "The call for resignation should be directed at the president ... for pursuing an agenda that is subversive of the constitution, and the will of the majority of Nigerians,"

    From here.

    More later, let me work before I get the sack...

    Thursday, April 06, 2006

    Let the fight begin...


    It is nice to see Baba and Atiku openely quarreling about the third term thing. Tells us that it won't come to fruition.

    For all his faults, perceived and/or real, Atiku has shown some courage in coming out very openly and siding with the anti third term lobby. See, it could have been very easy for him to just go and beg Baba, (the kind of crap that the vast majority of our politicians would have done) in the hope that a compromise could be reached and he can continue in office beyond 2007 as well. But no, the man has obeyed his conscience (or is it pockets? with Naija politicians you can never tell) and has openely stated that the 3rd term thing doesn't fly.

    But what kind of response is Femi Fani Kayode giving? The man is becoming more and more like a moron with each passing day that my heart cringes each time I hear him speak on CNN. Why should the vice president resign for insisting that the constitution be respected as it currently is? Does that make sense? Can't his boss stop beating about the bush and come out to tell us whether he would be competing? Instead of hiding behind God and Mantu?

    According to the
    BBC, Fani-Kayode said: "if Vice-President Atiku Abubakar was unhappy in government, he should do the right thing and step down." What the hell does that mean? A man can't express his opinions? That he says the president should not change the rules of the game in the middle of the game means he is unhappy in government? Last time I checked it was a free country, with freedom of _expression.

    I have
    said before that this whole crap that is happening is the fault of Nigerians. We are just sitting down and looking while our elected leaders are taking us for a ride, like say we no dey dier. So let the games continue...


    In the meantime,
    some poor souls have been arrested in Plateau State for eating dead chickens. What those people need is food, not a cell.

    God bless Nigeria.


    Wednesday, April 05, 2006

    Malaria, Betrayal, Trust, Negotiate.

    Nigeria can be a rather nasty place if you are unemployed and just sit at home all day. I know this for certain because I have been doing just that since Monday. NEPA, PHCN, whatever you want to call them just turn of the lights and forget about one. I have been at home because I have malaria.

    Malaria is an ailment that I truly dread. It knocks a man out more totally than any other that I know, and I used to be quite resistant to it. But for some reason I have contracted it twice now in the last one year. I have been knocked out for some days because of it, but alhamdililahi, I am better now, or else I won't be writing this. I must mention that I am better thanks to Lanre’s mum. God bless her soul. She made me eat and drink those disgusting drugs, then there was the plenty sleep. As soon as I post this, I am off to resume another round of sleep.

    It is amazing how the world moves past you when you are out of action for just a few hours, not to talk of days. In the three days or so since I last saw the Internet, the Thai Prime Minister has resigned, a high ranking US official was arrested for child porn, Zacarias Moussaoui has been found guilty and will be liable to be sentence (anything new?), Milan have qualified for the semis (yuck!), Villareal knocked Inter out, Saddam Hussein finally decided to talk in court, and Obasanjo came home after denying the third term thing in public in (wait for it) New York. Can't the man deny it here in Naija? That is what will really make us believe him, not denying it when the rest of the world hounds him and doing something else here. From what I gather, the senate is still trying to reinstate the immunity clause for governors into Mantu's report, and even insert an immunity clause for senators and representatives! Ghana must go galore in the 2007 constitution if you ask me, but I'll have to read up on that before the SSS comes to arrest me for rumor mongering, don't take that serious until it can be confirmed.

    Anyways, those are all issues I will talk about when I have caught up with global news by the time I resume work tomorrow. I am currently at a cybercafe in Ajah trying to clear up my email box (56 mails to read), as well as to let you good people know that I still belong to the land of the living.

    There is an anecdote I'd like to mention before I delve into the story I want to write...

    Gathered on the plain, the two armies came out in impressive array in all their armour, both sides lined up one against the other at both ends of the plain. Reason prevailed, and instead of going straight into battle, the Kings decided to together with their knights meet in the middle of the plain and negotiate, so meet they did, even though both armies distrusted each other intensely. As the meeting wore on, an asp glided along the plain towards one of the Kings. A knight in the king's entourage on seeing the asp tried to protect his sire by slaying the offending reptile with his sword. As he drew his sword however, both armies saw the flash and thereupon fell on each other with the ensuing slaughter the kind which had never been seen up until that day, and never since been seen. All because they didn't trust each other.

    Something has been bothering me these past few days, and being at home has given me an opportunity to think about it, which is something I kinda hate doing, I tend to prefer action (funny for someone who knows how to yak a lot shey), but the time spent on the bed recuperating gave me time to think, and I want to see how many of you agree with my opinion on this issue. It concerns a ongoing spat between two of my friends which hasn't come out in the open, but is obviously simmering, the kind of quarrel that IMO is the most dangerous because peoples' imaginations tend to run wild the longer anger dwells without resolution.

    At this point, I'd like to point out that I am presenting George's side of the story because it is his side that I'm familiar with, since he has talked to me, and Abdul has so far refused to.

    These guys, George and Abdul have been friends since before I met either one of them, and I hope they'll continue being friends, but at the moment..? George came into Lagos not too long ago on the back of a personal tragedy, and being a nice friend, Abdul helped him secure a job with his firm to take his mind off things. The firm, Headers, is a rather small affair of about 5 I think, which is currently run by some fellow Ike whom I haven't met. Ike's younger brother Henry is also a worker there, and both George and Henry were classmates back in school. Now, unknown to George, Abdul and Ike were having problems as at when he joined Headers, and Abdul was actually contemplating leaving.

    Now fast forward a few months, and as a staff of Headers, George's role in the scheme of things had gone up, while Abdul's seemed to have diminished. Ike actually told George that he liked the way he (George) got things done, I can confirm that George is one of those people who follow instructions, but could be stubborn when he deems it fit, and takes initiative on projects he considers top priority. Sadly, Ike's problem with Abdul hasn't abated, on the contrary, things have gone from bad to worse. It all came to a head when Abdul decided that he had had enough of Ike's bullying (Ike's a perfectionist according to both of them), and went AWOL for a week. Ike finally decided that he had had enough as well, and told George that Abdul wasn't coming back to Headers. He told George point blank that this was the fourth time that Abdul was going AWOL, and that he couldn't take that anymore.

    George and Henry (Ike's brother, remember him?) tried to convince Ike to rescind that decision, but to no avail. Unfortunately, Abdul himself didn't help matters. For over a week, he refused to take calls from any of them, and it seemed the only way they could get through to him was through his girlfriend, but even that wasn't certain. Anyways, they both tried to convince him that he should come back, but he refused. Another friend of theirs, Suleiman also tried, but to no avail. Abdul also claimed that he had gotten another offer with a rival firm to Headers. So here we were with two people Ike and Abdul who refused to see eye to eye. I was a witness to an occasion at Suleiman's office when Suleiman and George tried to convince Abdul to at least talk to Ike, but he refused. This was about a month back. George on the other hand, was also trying to convince Ike to take Abdul back. Finally, it seemed that the combined efforts of himself and Henry were about to pay off. Ike agreed to see Abdul, then something happened. Without telling either George or Henry, Abdul left Lagos, the same day Ike agreed he would see him, made both of them look rather silly if you ask me. Ike said that that was the end of it.

    This triggered off the face off between Abdul and George. How? Firstly, George said he would no longer speak to Ike on Abdul's behalf as he felt very stupid last time out. Henry on his own part told me the following: Abdul feels indispensable to Headers, so maybe we should let him go so he can see that Headers will go on after he's gone. That was how bad both of them felt about the whole scenario. Now, a month has passed, and Abdul is back in Lagos, the new job offer hasn't materialized and Suleiman tells me that it looks like Abdul wants back into Headers. Sadly, for some reason, Abdul blames George for his exit. He also accuses George of betrayal, and says George told Henry about the other job. George on his part is unhappy with Abdul because according to him, Henry said that Abdul was complaining before he left Lagos that he brought George into Headers, and now George is the favoured party in the organisation.

    For my part, I have tried to get in touch with Abdul without any success. I know you will both read this, so based on what I know, I think Abdul you are being childish. George is your friend, and you both shouldn't allow something mundane to come between you. If he is being truthful, then he has no ill will towards you, and as such, you shouldn't have any towards him. The truth is this, your action in refusing to see Ike at the time when you felt like leaving Headers was foolish, some would say cowardly. Talking always solves things when both parties are reasonable. When you refuse to talk, you run the risk of misinterpreting things, and I think that is what happened between you and Ike, and is what is in the process of happening between you and George. So come out of your shell.

    This evening la vecchia signora take on Arsenal in the return leg of last week's match. Here's hoping that miracles do happen. Forza Juve!